I was talking earlier about going to Las Vegas where, according to some announcements today, things are opening up a bit more. In fact, two new hotels will be opening in the next two weeks and the Rio All-Suite Hotel & Casino — where Penn & Teller perform and where I often stay — is beginning the process of a total remodel as it turns into a Hyatt. No word yet on if it'll be changing names.
The topic of new hotel rooms got me thinking about what bothers me about old hotel rooms so…
- I don't understand why the showers and bathtubs, unless they're in special "accessible" rooms, don't have more (or in some cases, any) grab-bars or things to hold onto when the floor is slippery or your balance is off. Don't people not in the special rooms ever slip?
- I don't understand why so many showers don't have a shelf on which you can put your little bottle of conditioner, your little bottle of shampoo, that razor you use in the shower, the larger bar of soap you travel with, etc. When you're naked, wet and have soap in your eyes, that might be handy. So would a towel rack inside the shower.
- I don't understand why you often have to figure out which switch controls which light or — even harder to figure out sometimes — which electrical outlet. How about a few little signs on the switches?
- I don't understand why they don't have alarm clocks that reset the alarm each night so that you aren't awakened at 5 AM because that's when the previous guest set the alarm to ring.
- I don't understand why every hotel room doesn't have a little, easy-to-read manual telling you how to connect with the Internet, how to set the alarm clock, how to find the damned ice maker and vending machine on your floor, how to listen to and delete voicemail on the in-room phone…
- I don't understand why they don't mount a big, strong hook on a wall or somewhere so you can hang up a garment bag if you're traveling with one.
- I don't understand why they always give me way more pillows than I or my traveling companion (if any) could possibly use but not enough hangers, laundry bags, soaps or places to plug in a USB cable.
- I don't understand why a $30 room has a $35 resort fee which gets me all sorts of things I don't want or need except for the $1.00 bottle of drinking water. And shouldn't a room advertised for $30 that has a $35 resort fee be advertised as a $65 room?
- I don't understand why it's often so difficult to find an empty electrical outlet next to the bed. This problem is getting better, I'll admit. I sleep with a C-PAP unit that needs to be plugged-in and I travel with an extension cord and an "octopus" adapter and I still sometimes have to move the bed and/or disconnect a bedside lamp to plug in.
- And I don't understand why the person who decides where to put the mirrors thinks we all want to look at ourselves when we're seated on the toilet.