Thriller

Hey, do you like lightweight screwball comedies? How about lightweight screwball comedies from the sixties? Of the frothy kind? On Thursday, TCM is showing The Thrill of It All with Doris Day and James Garner, plus a whole raft of great character actors. In there are, among others, Edward Andrews (who steals every single scene he's in), Arlene Francis, Reginald Owen, Zasu Pitts, Elliott Reid, Burt Mustin, Alice Pearce, Paul Hartman, my old pal Lennie Weinrib, Robert Strauss, Hayden Rorke, Herbie Faye, Bernie Kopell and even (briefly) Maurice "Doberman" Gosfield, plus several of the voices of Paul Frees.

Oh — and Carl Reiner. He plays several very funny cameo moments, plus he wrote the script with Larry Gelbart. In the opening titles, Mr. Reiner is credited on the same card as the person who supplied the jewelry, I believe. It says "Cameos by Carl Reiner." (Also take notice of the title song which is about as 1963 as a movie title song could ever be.)

It's a very silly, easy to watch comedy. James Garner is great in it and you even get to see him drive a convertible into a swimming pool. Doris Day's great, too. If you don't understand why this woman was such a huge star at the box office for so long, this will clue you in.

One caveat: As with a lot of comedies from this era and before, one of the film's working premises is that a good wife doesn't work. A good wife stays at home and raises the kids and has dinner on the table when the husband — the breadwinner — comes home from work. If you can get past that, you might enjoy this film a lot. It's Thursday evening on Turner Classic Movies, preceded by Lover Come Back (Doris, Rock Hudson and Tony Randall) and followed by Boys' Night Out (Garner and Randall).

The Impeachment Show

I wasn't going to watch. I have work to do today and I couldn't afford the time or the emotional distraction so I wasn't going to watch the Impeachment Trial in Washington. But then, checking in on my Twitter feed, folks had posted the 13-minute video the House Managers had shown to kick off their case in the Senate. It's pretty horrifying…

And suddenly, I'm watching the Impeachment Trial. I caught some of the proceedings, mostly the opening arguments by Trump's lawyers, who seem to have even Trump and Trump-fans pretty unhappy. I saw when this happened…

One of the lawyers heading former President Donald Trump's defense at his second impeachment trial is conceding that Trump lost the election to Joe Biden, a fact that Trump himself has refused to acknowledge. In opening remarks Tuesday, lawyer Bruce Castor said: "The American people are smart enough to pick a new administration if they don't like the old one. And they just did." Later, Castor referred to Trump, saying: "He was removed by the voters."

Guess this is what you get when you can't get any reputable lawyer to defend you and you have to hire one off Craig's List. The maddening thing of course is that you could have Gomer Pyle defending Trump and he could even admit to heinous crimes by his client…and it wouldn't make much difference to the final vote.

Today's Video Link

I don't know why I like this song but I always liked this song…

Dispatches From the Fortress – Day 334

I'm not watching or even really following the impeachment trial. First of all, I don't like sequels. Secondly, I think we all know how it will end and it won't be what a majority of Americans want according to one recent poll

Compared to public attitudes in the early days of his first impeachment trial, support for the Senate convicting Trump is higher now. In an ABC News/Washington Post poll published in late January 2020, when the first trial was ongoing but before senators had voted, 47% of Americans said the Senate should vote to remove Trump from office and 49% said he should not be removed.

But in this latest poll, 56% of Americans say Trump should be convicted and barred from holding office again, and 43% say he should not be. The new poll was conducted by Ipsos in partnership with ABC News using Ipsos' KnowledgePanel.

Yeah…but there are a lot of Congressfolks and Senators from areas that love Donald J. and they know what it'll take to win re-election.


Various comic conventions and similar gatherings are starting to announce dates for in-person — as opposed to virtual — gatherings. I understand the financial needs at stake but I think it's too soon…perhaps way too soon. Even with everyone on the premises KN95-masked and full of Pfizer or Moderna vaccine, I think it's too soon.

When will it not be too soon? I dunno. But I think we need to go through a gradual, impossible-to-predict process and that no one can say where we'll be in June or August or October. What scares me a bit is that I know a number of folks who, out of monetary necessity or a bad case of shpilkes (if you don't know the word, look it up) will rush to take risks that I wouldn't take. They might turn out for some events in sufficient quantity to make people think, "I guess everyone has decided it's over" when wiser/more prudent folks haven't decided that.

Err on the side of survival…and of not triggering yet another wave of this damned thing. Please.

Today's Video Link

Though I don't do a lot of cooking, I find myself watching a fair amount of cooking videos on YouTube. I like to know how things are made, including many things I would never in a million years attempt to prepare in my kitchen. I also like a lot of online chefs for their presentation skills. I think anyone who has to make videos that teach you how to do anything could learn from watching Alton Brown.

I've also occasionally binged on Laura Vitale, Sam the Cooking Guy and Chef John. I'm really just watching Chef John to see if there's any food on the planet he doesn't think needs a shake of Cayenne Pepper.

Lately, I've been watching Adam Ragusea, who I think is very good and very informative with the "explaining" part of his job. He's a special master of getting in and out of a commercial for his sponsor without it being too intrusive.

I like when he explains why he doesn't agree with a lot of other chefs and most of his explanations make great sense to me…like he did this whole video about why he thinks it's foolish to deep-fry in a home kitchen. Here, he discusses what kind of cheese does or doesn't belong on pizza and this video is all about why some people like spicy food. (I spend much of my life avoiding spicy food…and chefs who think every food on the planet needs a shake of Cayenne Pepper.)

Last year, he did a deep dive into the controversy about Monosodium glutamate, which you may know better by its initials: MSG. I have no opinion on this matter, in large part because I don't feel qualified to form an opinion on it. Well, I have this much of an opinion: I'm sure it's very bad for some people but as a person with many food allergies, I feel that way about everything we consume. There are certainly foods you eat that are very good for your body that would do great damage to mine.

Our video link today is Mr. Ragusea's look at MSG. He didn't convince me it was good or bad, nor was that his mission. But he did convince me I didn't know as much about it as I thought I did…

My Latest Tweet

  • It's sad how you can be on top one day and near the bottom, the next. I just had a GrubHub order delivered to me by Lou Dobbs.

Dispatches From the Fortress – Day 333

I think but am not sure the Super Bowl is on as I type this. I don't know when it is, don't know who's playing, don't care who's playing, don't care who wins, etc. And if things go the way they usually do with these, I will hear no one talking about the game itself later but lots of discussions about the commercials.

Hey, if you're tried to friend me on Facebook, please understand I am not snubbing you. They allow you 5000 "friends" and I'm currently at 4954 with over a thousand friend requests pending, some of which are probably from people who've passed away since they put themselves on that list. And when I do try to "friend" someone back, Facebook sometimes tells me that I have hit the maximum even though I should have 46 spots open. It's nothing personal. It's just Facebook.

Not only am I not looking at the Super Bowl this weekend, I'm not looking at political stuff. I did though get a message from someone who in the months before the election, tweeted madly and sent out e-mails insisting that Trump would win by the widest margin in the history of presidential elections…and now the guy wants to know if I'm ready to admit that Donald did. I suspect this guy bet big on whichever team lost or loses the Super Bowl and will never pay up.

Cuter Than You #70

Baby skunks! That's right…I said Baby Skunks!

Dispatches From the Fortress – Day 332

If you follow this blog, do not make the mistake of thinking you can figure out when I"m home, working, sleeping, etc., from the time-stamps on these posts. I sometimes write them way ahead. I sometimes write them and have them posted by a timer function that puts them online later.

This is probably true of most bloggers. The postings of my buddy Ken Levine all go online at 6 AM when Ken is probably lost in slumberland.

I've been meaning to mention that here since one night when I went to bed at 3 AM after setting a Video Link to be posted at 6 AM…and a friend saw it and thought it was safe to call me at 6:15 AM.

Lately, no one knows when I'll be asleep, least of all me. I have so very few appointments these days that I'm keeping stranger hours than I ever have. I even serialize my sleep at times.

My body seems to need 5-6 hours per night and I sometimes sleep four hours when it's dark out and two more when the sun is shining. My mother used to sleep double those hours but in the same unpredictable patterns when she was in her eighties. Now here I'm doing it, less than a month shy of turning 69.

There is surely some wisdom to sleeping whenever your body seems to want to sleep, and I've had very little luck making it go beddy-bye before it's good and ready to. Still, my body clock sometimes doesn't listen to my body. It sometimes wakes me when it decides I shouldn't sleep past 9 AM even when I went to bed at 6.

If I can keep my mind off current work — the stuff I'm going to resume writing whenever I get to the computer — I can often fall back asleep for another hour or so. If I start thinking about it, that's it. I'm up and there's no going back to Dreamland until I write something.

In what I jokingly call my career, I've sometimes had jobs where I had to get up in the morning five days a week — occasionally six or even seven days a week — and be at a studio somewhere by 10 AM or so. It was understood that if we were there doing rewrites until four in the morning, I might not be there at 10 or 11 but I still had to show up when I could.

There were good things about most of those jobs…things that made it worth waking up in time to be there, even though it might have meant going to bed earlier than my body felt appropriate. Or just plain not getting enough sleep.

I may or may not have one of those jobs in the future. I like working at home because that usually means I can sleep when I want to and work when I want to. But there have been times I was willing to give that up. When I wrote variety shows or sitcoms, I practically had to live at a studio. I never slept at one but there were nights when it might have made more sense.

Again, sometimes the job was so wonderful in so many ways, I'd make that kind of sacrifice and so might you.

Around 1985, my agent sent me to meet with a producer who wanted to hire me to write a TV program. It was an enticing job. The show looked like it could be very good and very educational and there were a lot of creative challenges and perks and reasons to grab it. Oh, and the money? That was good, too. The producer seemed like a great guy and I sensed we'd get along fine. But there were downsides, starting with the fact that he would not allow me to work at home.

I would have to report to the office every day, five days a week — or more, as needed. What's more, I had to be there at 9 AM and not leave until at least 5 PM. And the office was way the hell out in the valley, perhaps an hour commute each way. It was about the only rule he had and he said it was non-negotiable. I tried negotiating anyway…

"How about if I come in some days and not others? Or later in the day? I sometimes write better late at night and in my own office at home. If you always have the scripts when you need them, why does it matter if I'm here at nine?"

He answered me: "Because I always get in at nine and if I walk past your office and nobody's there, I feel like I'm being cheated out of an hour's pay."

I said, "But on this job, you wouldn't be paying me by the hour. You'd be paying me by the job — X dollars per episode. I get the same money if I write the script in thirty hours or sixty hours. I get the same money if I write it here or write it at home. It costs you the exact same amount if I write it at 3 PM or 3 AM."

He said, "I know, believe me I know. But when I was a kid, I worked in a shop that did transmission work. We opened at nine and the boss screamed at me if I wasn't there at 8:30 sharp. I walked in one morning at 8:35 and he yelled, 'The next time you do that, you're fired!' I've never been able to shake the concept that that's how jobs work. I feel I'm paying someone who isn't working and therefore isn't earning their money."

I asked, "How would you feel if I had to stay late and I was there for many hours after 5 PM? Would you feel you weren't paying me enough?"

He said, "No, I'd feel like you'd goofed off all day and it was your fault you had to work late to finish."

I said, "Supposing I work 10 AM to 6 PM? Same number of hours for the same money!"

He shook his head and said, "But then you wouldn't be here at nine. I know it doesn't make sense but I can't change."

I said, "I could be here every day at nine but I can't guarantee I wouldn't wind up falling asleep at my desk occasionally."

He said that would be okay. "I don't mind if you sleep on my time. But my time starts at nine o'clock."

I didn't take that job because it would have meant getting up every morning at 7 AM, regardless of when I fell asleep the night before. And these days, whenever I wake up around 7 AM, I remind myself that I don't have that job. I don't have to get up right then and shower and get dressed and prepping to run out. And then I smile and I try to go back to sleep.

Today's Video Link

Speaking of shows being closed in Las Vegas: One of my favorite live shows there, which I've seen a couple times, is/was Absinthe, which presumably will come back soon when more of Vegas does. I once described it here like this…

Imagine a Cirque du Soleil show but take away about 80% of the budget, all the weird costumes and sets and bizarre music. Keep the part where human beings go out and do physical feats — aerial stunts, balancing, juggling, lifting, etc. — that seem physically impossible. Then add in the rudest, nastiest host ever in show business history — a man who makes Mr. Rickles look like Mr. Rogers — and his assistant, who has the mouth of a sailor and the I.Q. of a potato chip. Mix well and pour. That's Absinthe.

The company that produces it also had two other shows in town — one called Opium and another called The Atomic Saloon Show, neither of which I've seen. All three closed, as did almost all other live shows in town, when The Pandemic hit. They briefly reopened Absinthe at the end of October under rules that limited seating to 150 people in a theater (a tent, actually) that usually holds 660.

That only lasted until the allowable seating was reduced to 50, at which point it closed again and I believe it is still closed. This, of course, creates great financial problems for the producers and a lot of personal problems (including but not limited to the financial kind) for the folks who appear in the show. The Spiegelworld people have been especially vocal in protesting some of the governor's rules, particularly those which allow nightclubs to be a lot more crowded than theaters or tents.

I don't know enough about Nevada rules to have an opinion on any of that. I am however intrigued by a series of rather elaborate videos that Spiegelworld (or someone in its midst) has been making about the shutdown, told from the POV of the producers and performers. Some of it is funny, most of it is sad or frustrating…and I'll warn you that some of it is rather adult in content, though not so much in the first installment which I'm embedding here…

That's Episode #1. As I write this, they're up to Episode #18 so if you want to catch up on them all, it'll take you some time. The whole series is best watched on this page.

Dispatches From the Fortress – Day 331

William Saletan lays out the case that Donald Trump has known all along that he lost the election. Maybe so. But I never got the sense that there was a strong link between what Donald Trump believed and what Donald Trump said. And not all that much between what Donald Trump says today and what he'll say tomorrow.


It's been ten days since a nice lady shot me full of Moderna vaccine. That was Dose #1 which brought on zero side effects. As many of you have informed me, if one is going to have side effects from this vaccine, they're more likely with Dose #2. So be it. None of the descriptions I've heard of such side effects sound even a hundredth as bad as actually getting the disease.

I have not changed my isolation lifestyle. Everything I've now done for 331 days to try and avoid COVID-19, I'm still doing. I just feel a little safer. And please stop trying to make me feel less safe by telling me about strange new mutations of the virus that will turn your brain into orange marmalade and give your knees the consistency of Silly Putty.™ We all have quite enough to worry about already, thank you.

Among the many things I used to do and am not doing now is going to Las Vegas. Actually, I'm not going anywhere but especially not to Las Vegas. Everything I read about what it's like there now makes me want to not be there for a long time. They've cut way back on everything but the gambling…which means everything I go there for since I gave up gambling late in the previous century.

Some restaurants are still open…though most, including some fast food places, require reservations. They're trying to manage how many people are there at any given time.

Only one hotel-casino offers a buffet at the moment. It's South Point, which is way out in the midst of nowhere else you'd want to go. It's operating "cafeteria-style," which means no self-service. You tell an employee, assuming one's on duty, which food you want and how much to put on our plate. Many hotels have, in fact, not only closed their buffets but remodeled those spaces into something else, indicating they do not expect buffets to make a comeback in the next few years.

There are only a few shows running, mostly comedy clubs, small magic shows or shows where a half-dozen people — male or female — dance with almost no clothes on. Wonder if any of them wear masks. The closest thing to a headliner performing now is Rich Little, who used to be an impressionist and now does a so-so impression of one.

Most discouraging is that the Vegas chat boards are full of tales of poor or non-existent service. A couple of folks are telling stories of arriving at a casino-hotel with a confirmed, paid-in-advance room reservation only to find that the casino-hotel is only operating as a casino. They abruptly closed down the hotel part without notifying reservation holders. What a nice thing to do to someone you refer to as a "guest."

One reason it's been easy to stay at home almost 24/7 for 331 days now is that I can't think of anyplace else I want to be.

Today's Video Link

These two people are both my pal Charlie Frye. You will see why I will never play cards with this man. Either of him…

ASK me: Hanging Out at the Marvel and DC Offices

The other day here, I mentioned that in the seventies, I — well, here. Let me quote that paragraph again…

I did, however, spend some time at both their offices. Every year or two, I'd go spend a week — once it was three weeks — back in New York and I'd hang around the DC offices or the Marvel offices where absolutely no one ever said to me, "What are you doing here? You don't work here." Most, if they noticed me at all, just presumed I did. And once in a while, I'd be asked to do something as if I was an employee and I'd do it.

So now I have about a dozen e-mails asking me what I actually did while poaching in the DC and Marvel offices. I hung around. I kept friends company and tossed out a few ideas. I read some comics that were going through the production process and in so doing, did some proofreading.

On the last day of one of my New York trips, I was up at Marvel when an issue of Unknown Worlds of Science-Fiction was being readied for the printer. This was a black-and-white magazine featuring comic book stories and text articles. A gentleman named Len Grow was in charge of whatever was being done with it and he started reading one of the articles that had been pasted-up onto page blanks. Today's that's all done on computers but back then — this was mid-seventies — the type for an article was set on sheets of glossy paper and you'd literally — like with a scissors — cut out blocks of this typeset copy and paste them in place on the page.

Mr. Grow couldn't make sense out of the article and he was under the gun to do a dozen other things on the book before a messenger would arrive to take it away for printing. Thinking I was some new employee, he handed it to me and said, "Quick! See if you can make any sense out of this." I read it over and I couldn't; not until I realized that whoever had pasted it up had pasted several paragraphs in the wrong order.

I figured out the right order and marked the text in blue pencil to indicate what should go where. Then I looked around for Len Grow so I could tell him what had to be done. But I couldn't find him and time was running out so I grabbed up an X-Acto knife, peeled the blocks of copy off the page and repasted everything in the proper order. Just as I was finishing but before I had the chance to give it a read and make sure it was right, Grow ran back in and said, "The messenger is waiting for the issue. Did you figure out what was wrong?" I told him I'd fixed it, handed him the pages and off they went.

I don't recall now which issue or article it was but I do remember that a couple months later when that issue came out, I read it carefully and was relieved to see it was really correct. I also recall wondering who Len Grow thought I was or if he was puzzled as to why I wasn't at work the next day or any day thereafter.

ASK me

Today's Video Link

And today's video link is from Mr. Randy Rainbow…

More Team Spirit

This is kind of a follow-up to this recent post about how I don't understand people who get so emotional cheering for "their team" in sports. It's that way in other areas.

Back in the seventies, I wrote a lot of comic books for Gold Key Comics, plus I was the editor of the Edgar Rice Burroughs Estate's comic book division and of the Hanna-Barbera comic book department. For the latter two, I wrote a lot of what those outfits produced. Much of what the H-B department did was published overseas and all of what that E.R.B. division did was for foreign publishers, plus I wrote scripts for a foreign comics department that Disney operated on its Burbank lot.

So I wrote quite a few comic books…just not many for DC or Marvel. Before any of you write in and take issue with that statement, let me tell you two things. Yes, I did assist Jack Kirby for a time with his books for DC…but those were comics Jack wrote, even if my pal Steve Sherman and I did give him some minor, wholly unnecessary help. We were paid by Jack, not by DC and as far as we were concerned, we worked for Jack, not DC, and he wrote those comics.

And yes, some of the comics I worked on for Hanna-Barbera were published by Marvel…but I worked out of the Hanna-Barbera studio and I was paid by Hanna-Barbera, as was everyone who worked on those comics. Marvel just published some of them in this country. If you read one, it may have looked to you like I was working for Marvel but I was working for Hanna-Barbera. Like I said, I didn't do much for DC and Marvel.

I did, however, spend some time at both their offices. Every year or two, I'd go spend a week — once it was three weeks — back in New York and I'd hang around the DC offices or the Marvel offices where absolutely no one ever said to me, "What are you doing here? You don't work here." Most, if they noticed me at all, just presumed I did. And once in a while, I'd be asked to do something as if I was an employee and I'd do it.

One of the things I observed was how loyal — and I don't necessarily mean this in a good or bad way — some people were to the company that was employing them at that moment. If a company is giving you a paycheck, what it should get in return is your best labors and efforts in whatever way it's been agreed you will earn that paycheck. But it shouldn't automatically get your heart and blind allegiance…or at least, you shouldn't give it freely.

Loyalty to people is great when properly dispensed. Loyalty to companies? Not so great…especially because companies change as the people change. And the people change. With both DC and Marvel, I have occasionally been in this position: I get hired to work with Editor A and then something happens and I find myself working with Editor B.

Again, that's not always bad. On one comic, I was hired by Editor A, was suddenly working with Editor B, then was suddenly working with Editor C and I wound up being Editor D. In this case, I got along fine with all of them, even that last guy.

I was friends with a man named Archie Goodwin who went back and forth a couple of times between DC and Marvel, at times being a very important editor and writer at each. Archie was great at many things and one was that he avoided thinking that the company that was paying him that week was the best because they were paying him that week.

We talked about it once and he said — I'm paraphrasing from memory here — "You can't get too emotionally involved with one company because then you get whiplash when you go to work for the other or when the boss changes." We had both observed folks who had suffered mightily from mistaking their workplace for their homes, their co-workers for their family, their boss for Mom and/or Dad, and what often turned out to be a short-term gig for Job Security for the rest of their lives.

This is not peculiar to comic books. I've seen it at animation companies, movie studios, newspaper syndicates, book publishers, TV networks…everywhere my career has taken me. I'm sure it happens to some degree in the insurance business and the aluminum siding business and just about every other kind but I'm just using comic books here for my example.

At one point, DC and Marvel used to exchange bundles. Each week when the newly-published comics came in from the printer, DC would send Marvel a batch of their new releases and Marvel would send theirs in return. I was up at Marvel one morning when that week's bundles came in from DC and everyone crowded into an office as one fellow opened the package and he and everyone there offered instant critiques. It sounded something like this…

"Oh my God! Look who they've got drawing Batman now!" "That's the worst cover I've ever seen on Wonder Woman!" "They must be desperate to give work to that guy!" "They're absolutely destroying Aquaman!" "They need to put that Sgt. Rock book out of its misery!"

Later that same day, I was over at DC. Someone had that week's bundle from Marvel and again, everyone who was free at the moment crowded into one office and offered their immediate reactions as the occupant of that office browsed past book after book…

"Oh my God! Look who they've got drawing Iron Man now!" "That's the worst cover I've ever seen on Hulk!" "They must be desperate to give work to that guy!" "They're absolutely destroying Daredevil!" "They need to put that Sgt. Fury book out of its misery!"

The rhetoric, if not the specific dialogue but for the nouns, was just about identical. Trust me on this. The air in both rooms was thick with the sense of "If the competition did it, it must be awful."

I'm sure they didn't all believe that. I think most of them thought that when you work for a company, that's what you say about the competition. (There was a gent there who was then freelancing for both companies. He'd been in the Marvel group earlier that day, happily engaging in bashing the other company that employed him.)

But I think a few of them believed what they were saying. And I think a few more were more inclined to believe it, sorta.

One person on the premises who did believe it was a DC executive who wandered by the room while this was going on. He poked his head in to ask what they were talking about. Someone said, "Just looking at this week's Marvels." He asked why and said, "They're all crap." And from this point on, I believe I am quoting the conversation verbatim. It made that much of an impression on me at the time.

Someone said, "They have some good artists working for them." He said, "No, they don't. And he added — and I'm sure I'm quoting this accurately — "The worst artist at DC is better than the best artist at Marvel."

This was followed by stunned silence even among those who'd been trashing Marvel only moments before. Someone ticked off some names of the best current Marvel artists: "John Buscema, Gene Colan, John Romita, Joe Sinnott…" He shook his head as if to say he was standing by what he'd just said.

In case you don't know comics, those are four guys who pretty much everyone would agree were good artists. That is, unless deep down, you had some emotional need to believe that the company that paid you was outrageously superior to all others.

And then the only guy in either room who hadn't joined in on the insulting of the comics in that bundle spoke up. I didn't work there so I guess I thought, "What's he going to do? Fire me?" I thought of someone then working for both companies and I asked, "Are you trying to tell us that Gil Kane art DC publishes is great art and the Gil Kane art Marvel publishes is bad art?"

He nodded and said, "Exactly. Gil knows he can't get away with handing that shit in to us." Yeah, right.