Monthly Archives: December 2020

I just received this…

This is your FINAL NOTICE, Mark.

So far, you've ignored EVERY email inviting you to join the Presidential Honor Roll. You've ignored Team Trump, Lara, Don Jr., AND the President of the United States.

We've done everything we can to get you to join this prestigious group, and now we're reaching out to let you know that this is your LAST CHANCE.

President Trump is holding your spot until 11:59 PM TONIGHT. After that, you will no longer be considered for a spot on the Presidential Honor Roll.

The President is counting on YOU, Mark. Don't let him down.

You've always been one of President Trump's fiercest supporters, so we wanted to give you ONE LAST CHANCE to accept your invitation to join the Presidential Honor Roll.

He'll be reviewing the FINAL membership roster soon. Make sure he sees your name.

Contribute $5 IMMEDIATELY to get your name on the FINAL membership roster.>>

I dunno…I think it's funny to imagine Trump sitting at a desk, reading a list and he suddenly yells out, "Hey! I don't see Mark Evanier's name on here! He's always been one of my fiercest supporters! You mean to tell me he didn't send me five friggin' dollars? Okay, I've had it with that guy! He's off the Presidential Honor Roll!"

Each year before Christmas, the folks at Turner Classic Movies issue their "TCM Remembers" video noting the past year's passages of movie stars (and usually, a TV personality or two, especially if they were seen in some capacity on TCM). It has been said that their primary goal in doing these is to show up the "In Memoriam" reel each year on the Oscars.

I don't know why they don't wait until the year is actually over to show us who died in that year. There always seems to be someone important who passes away after TCM releases their video but before the year is over…so they go back, edit that person in and release a revised edition. We'll see if they have to do that this year…

Founded back in 1963, the Bob Baker Marionette Theater is the oldest establishment in Los Angeles offering theater-type entertainment for children. It has put on shows pretty steadily since then and hosted thousands upon thousands of kids' birthday parties. In some families, there are several generations who happily recall birthday parties when they were younger at the B.B.M.T.

The last few decades, it's had trouble keeping the doors open. In 2008, I wrote here and in later posts about the financial problems it was having. The place managed to stay open but things got a lot worse in 2014 when Mr. Baker passed away at the age of 90. His family and students kept things afloat but despite their building being designated a Los Angeles Historic Cultural Monument, they finally had to vacate it.

Happily, support was such that they've relocated. They moved their workshop, stage and inventory of three thousand puppets into an old theater in Highland Park and while they're still in need of funds, it doesn't look like all those stringed people and creatures will be out on the street any time soon. Since I covered its struggles to stay in the old building, I thought you'd like to know they have a new one.

Here we have a little Christmasy video that the current management has assembled to entertain, tell the history of the enterprise and ask for donations. If you're in Southern California and have kids who have birthdays, take the hint. And visit their website, which contains a lot more history.

So far, it's been a quiet, pleasant Christmas Day here. One friend who called me said they went to a big party last night. I do not understand that kind of risk-taking. I don't "get" people who are so desperate to gather with friends or to eat in a restaurant again that they'll gamble even the small-but-not-zero chance of getting the disease, especially at a time when there might not even be room for them in any hospital. Beastie Boys notwithstanding, you don't absolutely have to fight for your right to party. You certainly don't have to die for it, as some have.

Last night, my COVID-safe visitor and I watched White Christmas with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye — two men who were magical on the screen but not much-loved by those who knew them off it. It's a sappy, manipulative story but if you can't enjoy one of those on Christmas Eve, you're taking life way too seriously.

My main computer persists in booting into Safe Mode and refusing to come out. Most programs refuse to run even that way and it also gives me a lot of error messages that pretty much say, "I told you I was sick." When portions of the world that closed for Christmas reopen, I shall venture forth — mainly on the Internet — and find someone who can heal it. In the meantime, the back-up computer is enjoying its chance to star for a while.

So things are fine where I am. I hope they're fine where you are…or if they're not, that they will be soon. And let nothing you dismay.

And here's our favorite video to post each Christmas…

Just before my computer crashed, I searched a folder of pics I took up at the MAD offices back in the seventies because I took some in the office of William Gaines. He said "You can photograph anything you want except me" but I didn't get a photo of his little Arbuckle display. Still, I figured someone might like to see this one…

The ceiling was filled with model zeppelins, many of them the MAD Zeppelin, featured for a time in the magazine. The cash register was configured so each button had a picture of a MAD staffer or a saying and when you pushed it, what popped up was not a price but a joke connected with what was on the button. The large head of King Kong was a gift from its sculptor, Sergio Aragonés. There were all sorts of toys and fun things in that office…and there was Bill, who was a very big and very rich kid.

Do I look any different to you? I should. I'm on my backup computer, my primary P.C. having decided Christmas Eve is the perfect time to go kablooey! on me. I mean, what better time to crash than the night you sure as hell can't call anyone or figure out who to have fix it? Everything's backed-up eight ways but my semi-informed diagnosis suggests I need a new C drive. Suggestions in the L.A. area are welcome. I've fixed a lot of things on that ol' computer but this one lies just outside my area of expertise.

Meanwhile, I've received a lot of messages about Roscoe Arbuckle and the scandal that ended his career. Most wrote what Gordon Robson wrote…

Regarding Dave S. Humphreys' comment, I thought it was obvious that your "raped some woman" remark carried an implicit rejection of that kind of attitude which some people might have had, and that it didn't reflect your own feelings about the poor woman. Funny how Mr. Humphreys seemed to see what wasn't there. Anyway, just thought I'd say you needn't worry, as most readers undoubtedly knew what you meant.

Yeah, but I'd like all readers to know what I meant. I realize that may be impossible, especially these days, but I can't help thinking that someone who calls himself a Professional Writer oughta be able to write so clearly that no one reads me wrong. There's plenty here to disagree with if you do understand what I'm trying to say.

Now, this may be of some interest. When I wrote about how people don't know what really happened with Mr. Arbuckle, I thought of mentioning Bill Gaines, the longtime publisher of MAD and a beloved figure among most who knew him or loved MAD and/or E.C. Comics. In his office, Bill had two photos in a joint frame — one of Roscoe Arbuckle and one of Virginia Rappe. Ms. Rappe, as we know, was the actress who died at a party Arbuckle hosted, leading to him being charged with violating and killing her. Gaines had them "united" in one of those frames where you might unite pics of your parents or your two kids or some couple like that. And he had an antique Coca-Cola bottle on display in front of the photos.

You might think this was poor taste humor. But Bill Gaines, let's remember, published MAD, Tales from the Crypt, The Vault of Horror and lots of things that were routinely denounced as poor taste humor. For him, it certainly wasn't.

I decided not to mention Bill's little display as an example of how folks don't know the truth about the Arbuckle/Rappe matter but didn't. Then I got a note from a reader of this site, Bob Gillian. The Mad World of William M. Gaines, by the way, was a fine book by MAD writer Frank Jacobs about Gaines and his publishing history…

I thought you might be interested in the following. Back in 1974 I was the proud owner of The MAD World of William M. Gaines. Alas, it seems to have disappeared over the years so I can't quote from it, but Gaines was quoted in it as saying something along the lines of he kept pictures of Fatty Arbuckle and Virginia Rappe on his desk and found it amusing that many visitors thought they were his parents as Rappe was raped to death by Arbuckle. Well, my teenage ire was aroused as I also believed then (and still do) that Arbuckle was railroaded, so I immediately rushed to my typewriter and dashed off a letter to Mr. Gaines, taking him to task and explaining why I believed Arbuckle was innocent. I expected no response, so imagine my surprise when this arrived in the mail.

Bob sent me a scan of the letter from Gaines on MAD letterhead, but it will be easier if I just quote what he said…

Thank you so much for writing! Actually, I know that Arbuckle was probably blameless in this affair but it has taken on a rather humorous mythological caste & we all love to talk about Arbuckle & his "coke" bottle! What happened to him was tragic at the time but everybody's dead now & we just kid about it! Best wishes.

And I explained the true story to Bill, too. I guess to some people, a legend is a legend in the true sense of the word. In these days, when everyone is called a "legend," we forget that Paul Bunyan and Johnny Appleseed were legends, too — meaning that not everything said about them is true. Anyway, I wish Frank in the book hadn't written what he wrote or that Bill had made clear he didn't believe it.

Hello. Hope you're having a safe 'n' jolly Day Before and that it continues at least through whatever holiday(s) you choose to celebrate at this time o' year. I'm sitting here, thinking of doing something immoral and/or illegal to help Donald Trump to see if I can get me one of them nifty pardons he's been giving out.

The e-mail address where I receive all those messages his organization has been sending me is jammed with them today. Most say something like "Last Chance" in the subject line and I was hoping, "Oh! If I don't donate now, they'll stop sending me opportunities to do so." But drat and double-drat. Turns out Donald personally signed a MAGA hat for me and this is my absolute last chance to donate so they can send me my hat. If not, they're going to give it to someone else.

It breaks my heart but I'm thinking I just may have to let them give it to someone else.

Here's our second-favorite video to post each Christmas…

Dave S Humphreys wrote with reference to my post on Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle…

I've been reading your column for a while and it's become a part of my daily routine. I'm a little troubled by some phrasing in your post, namely …"because he raped some woman"…

The use of the word "some" sounds dismissive, like she was not someone worth of any consideration — just another anonymous bimbo. "A" woman would sound much better. Or mentioning her name (Virginia Rappe) would humanize her more. I don't believe he was guilty, myself, though I won't contest your saying that he raped a woman. That is your opinion.

I am not a feminist, but I was struck by the sad ending for this poor woman when I first read of it 40 years ago.

Thanks for all of the great content over the years.

I think I've been misinterpreted here. Maybe it was my fault. I don't think Arbuckle was guilty and I don't think the woman he was accused of harming was unworthy of any consideration. The lines that bothered you read…

…you've probably heard that his career ended because he raped some woman in a hotel room and she died. You may not have heard that he was totally exonerated of the crime but nonetheless banned from the silver screen.

Was he guilty? He went through three trials. The first two resulted in hung juries. The last one not only found him Not Guilty but also issued a statement that said that "…there was not the slightest proof adduced to connect him in any way with the commission of a crime." That's good enough for me to reach the conclusion that, like I said, he was totally exonerated. How could you have thought I thought he was guilty?

But most people haven't heard that part. They just heard he raped a woman and they don't know her name or care about it. With the word "some," I was not demeaning her…just saying that's how little most people knew of the case. (An awful lot of people also seem to think he raped her with a Coke bottle, though that does not seem to have been alleged or even mentioned by any prosecutor of the time. I believe it was a speculation in some newspaper and it caught the worst part of some folks' imagination, as did the whole wretched story.)

About three decades ago, I did a lot of research about Arbuckle for a project that never went the distance. I don't recall it all now…and since then, there have been a number of books so I probably need to brush up and update. But I do remember deciding that his banishment was inexcusable but understandable. Movies were still new and there were religious leaders benefiting from decrying Hollywood Decadence, to say nothing of the yellow journalism of the day that knew how to sell newspapers filled with lurid scandal.

Arbuckle was almost certainly innocent of what happened to Virginia Rappe but he did host what to much of America seemed like a "wild party" that flaunted conventional morality: Unescorted women, illegal drinking (during Prohibition), etc. The Hearst newspapers covering the trials made sure America heard that Ms. Rappe had a bad reputation. Whether he'd harmed her or not, Arbuckle was carousing with one of those "bad girls"…and of course, his weight and baby face made him a colorful player in the sinful drama.

Silent film producer Hal Roach told me the moguls of his business had sacrificed "Fatty" as a kind of appeasement to those who thought Hollywood was Sodom and Gomorrah rolled into one. It was like, "See? We got rid of the cancer!" He said they were afraid that "the public" would look too closely at the way they — the studio owners, that is — were living and partying and whoring and drinking. And I guess it worked…for them.

Getting back to why you wrote, Dave: I'm sorry you thought I thought Arbuckle was guilty or that Virginia Rappe was just "some woman." I never thought either for a minute. But it's the way a lot of people then saw it, making it another one of those "lessons for our time" from which very few people learn.

Okay, let's start the countdown! Here's our third-favorite video to post each Christmas…

Among left-wing pundits who criticize the media, one sees a fascinating debate these days. We have all these leaks from the White House — Trump said this, Trump asked about that — that include some pretty shocking musings if he's really and truly serious about them. But it's clear from the man's track record that when Trump says even as a formal announcement he's going to do something, that doesn't mean he's ever going to do that thing. He was going to release his taxes. He was going to release a great new health plan to replace Obamacare with something that would be better and cheaper. He was going to make Mexico pay for The Wall.

(I suspect what he meant with that last one was he was going to get Mexico to buy Chris Hardwick's game show but I don't think he ever spent ten seconds on that.)

So the debate comes down to this: When someone tells someone that Trump is asking someone something about declaring Martial Law or issuing pardons to every Republican who has ever served him without betraying him…should that be headline news? Or do we ignore these unsourced (usually) vague "Trump asked about this in a meeting" reports as the daydreaming of a guy who only occasionally does what he says he's going to do?

I have no answer for this but a lot of people of varied political affiliations are worried he's going to do something CA-RAZY before he either vacates or is dragged kicking and screaming from the Oval Office. And I assume all presidents in private ask about or discuss actions that they have no intention of actually doing.

Sad to hear of the death at age 59 of Broadway star Rebecca Luker who was so lovely and perfect in the 2000 revival of The Music Man (which I saw) and a local production of She Loves Me (which I saw) and lots of other shows (which I didn't see). And how did I not know that she was married to Danny Burstein? Condolences to him and to us all.

On my "to do" list is sending out "thank you" e-mails to all those who've sent cash-type donations to this blog to note its twentieth anniversary. I hope to get them out before the twenty-first anniversary. I can't do that for those of you who've been using my Amazon link for your holiday shopping because I don't know who you are. But that is also appreciated.

Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle. If you've ever heard of this great film comedian — mainly of the silent era — you've probably heard that his career ended because he raped some woman in a hotel room and she died. You may not have heard that he was totally exonerated of the crime but nonetheless banned from the silver screen.

And you may not have heard that as a performer, he was right up there with Charlie Chaplin, Harold Lloyd and Buster Keaton, two of whom claimed Arbuckle as a friend and mentor. There is more to learn about him in this mini-documentary, including the frustrating fact that his films are hard to come by these days. Several are lost. Others exist but have not had the extensive restoration work that has preserved the legacy of other great movie clowns. It is perhaps telling that even this overview of his life had to reuse some clips several times to fill eighteen and a half minutes.

I've sought his films out over the years and the more I see of Arbuckle, the more I see where other comics — Keaton, especially — picked up the tricks and styles they picked up. Watch this short but fine overview of his life by Joe Ramoni and see what I mean…

• I have now sanitized my hands so much, I no longer have fingerprints.

• The more Trump fights to stay in office, the more I wonder what kind of prosecutions he's expecting.