Why I Probably Won't Get Around To Watching Wonder Woman 1984 For A Long Time, If Ever

Well, for one thing, the reviews and word o' mouth on the Internet are pretty bad. My pal Ken Levine called it a "bloated piece of shit." My pal Leonard Maltin wrote that "the movie struggles to be relevant and serious, but in a superficial, cartoony way. It drones on for two and a half hours but it hasn't got a lot to say, and sputters whenever it's trying to convey a message." Which I guess is how a respected, professional film critic says something is a "bloated piece of shit."

I would never say that either way about a movie or TV show or book or any work of art. The worst thing I'd probably say about something I didn't like is that I didn't like it. And I would not assume that someone else wouldn't…or because they didn't, I couldn't.

I have a history of sometimes liking movies that others dislike — Cats would be a recent example — and not liking movies that friends adored. Stan & Ollie would be one. Before home video, when I was more inclined to go out to movies, I would sometimes make a special effort to catch a film before I'd seen any reviews or had friends tell me how good or bad it was.

No, I just find I'm not that interested in super-hero movies. My interest in super-hero comics is more about the characters that created them than the characters in them. I have friends who've read as many comics as I have who can talk for hours about Batman and Thor and Iron Man and each and every member of The Legion of Super-Heroes. I'm way more interested in Jack Kirby and Joe Simon and Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster and more recent creators. I also have trouble relating to characters who are CGI much of the time unless the whole movie is CGI.

Yes, Gal Gadot looks sensational as Wonder Woman. I thought Christopher Reeve looked sensational as Superman but that wasn't enough to make me like those movies. The only thing I liked about the first one in 1978 was the credit for Siegel and Shuster. So I'm in no hurry.