Dispatches From the Fortress – Day 288

Hello. Hope you're having a safe 'n' jolly Day Before and that it continues at least through whatever holiday(s) you choose to celebrate at this time o' year. I'm sitting here, thinking of doing something immoral and/or illegal to help Donald Trump to see if I can get me one of them nifty pardons he's been giving out.

The e-mail address where I receive all those messages his organization has been sending me is jammed with them today. Most say something like "Last Chance" in the subject line and I was hoping, "Oh! If I don't donate now, they'll stop sending me opportunities to do so." But drat and double-drat. Turns out Donald personally signed a MAGA hat for me and this is my absolute last chance to donate so they can send me my hat. If not, they're going to give it to someone else.

It breaks my heart but I'm thinking I just may have to let them give it to someone else.