Dispatches From the Fortress – Day 223

Not only have I not decided whether or not to watch the big Thursday Night Debate, I've almost been thinking of predicting it'll be called off because Trump is exhausted, Trump is demanding changes in the format, Trump is accusing Biden of cheating, etc. Something I haven't seen in any article about the debate is whether the candidates have to pass COVID-19 tests before it.

That was in the rules for the first one but Trump arrived late and managed to not take the test. One might assume that in light of what then happened, the nonpartisan Commission on Presidential Debates would absolutely insist on it this time. But one might assume all sorts of things, especially in this time in our history, which do not happen.

Kristen Welker, a White House correspondent for NBC News, will serve as moderator. I think instead, it would liven things up if they brought in Frank Welker and had him ask each question in the voice of a different cartoon character.

Ms. Welker will have a button with which she can mute either debater's microphone if said debater interrupts the other too often. If Trump just stands there yelling his interruptions sans mike, I would hope — but do not expect — that Mr. Biden would turn to him and say, "You know, if you conducted yourself like a normal person does in a debate, they wouldn't have had to install those buttons." I do expect that Trump will insist that the buttons are there to rig the proceedings against him and that he was muted whenever he was about to score a devastating, election-upsetting point.