Monthly Archives: September 2020

Today's one Trump item is a link to a piece by Fred Kaplan, who did something you and I haven't done. He actually read the Bob Woodward book.

I said here the other day that I thought 3400 Cahuenga Blvd. in Hollywood — the former site of the Hanna-Barbera Studio — had been turned into a gym. Well, I was partly right. There is an L.A. Fitness at that address, which was the main thing that was there the last time I paid attention while driving by. But they've also now built a complex called Cahuenga Place which is full of apartments for rent. Thanks to Trevor Kimball for sending me this link to a realty listing which has some photos of the scene there. You may notice a few images of Fred Flintstone and George Jetson on some of the walls in public areas.

This evening, I will be conducting what may be the only interview done in this country this week that is not of Bob Woodward. I fully expect to see him in the next few days preparing a Sour Cherry Strawberry Meringue Galette on Iron Chef America and changing the carburetor of a Lamborghini Veneno on Jay Leno's Garage.

I will be speaking with Dennis Palumbo, a fine writer whose credits include the superb movie My Favorite Year and many mystery novels. A big parenthetical aside to his career is that for a few years, he was the partner of Yours Truly and we broke into writing for TV together. Dennis is now a busy psychotherapist and I'm not sure how much time we're going to spend on which aspects of his life but they're all interesting. Come back here tonight at 7 PM to watch our discussion live…or if you miss it, to watch a replay on demand.

Next week, I'll be interviewing another fine writer, Ron Friedman, and then the week after, my friend Shelly Goldstein will be interviewing me…about what, I have no idea. Whatever she wants to ask me about. In October, I will have a conversation with Disney Legend Floyd Norman and then one with Garfield's creator, Jim Davis. And then I'm going to shut down the webcasts for a while because we're going to have several weeks in this country when no one will be saying more than eight words to anyone about anything except The Election.

Simon Passey sent me an e-mail to ask…

Just curious to know that if Trump offered to ban cole slaw across the U.S., would you vote for him?

No…because if he wins, there won't be an America is which to eat anything else.

I'm really not out to ban cole slaw so much as to persuade restaurants not to automatically slap a leaky gob of it on your plate even when you clearly tell the order-taker, "No cole slaw." I'd also like it if when you order something that comes by default with cole slaw, they give you the option of replacing it with something that more closely resembles food.

A lot of businesses are going under these days. A lot of businesses were going under before these days. It seems like every few months for decades now, I am solicited to join a movement to save some local institution that's going outta business and/or is about to be torn down.

I'm asked to join a great many causes and sometimes I care, sometimes I don't…and sometimes, I'm on the opposite side altogether. If someone asked me to donate to put Donald Trump's face on Mount Rushmore, I swear I'd whip out my iPhone and send more cash to Joe Biden. Not that long ago, I was asked to donate to a campaign to preserve 3400 Cahuenga Boulevard, the longtime home of the Hanna-Barbera studio and not let it become an unrelated business.

I worked in that building. I made great friends in that building. I loved some (not all) of what came out of that building. I think it did have some historical significance. But I thought: If Bill Hanna and Joe Barbera didn't do anything to preserve their studio…if Time-Warner which owns Hanna-Barbera and has half the money in the world didn't do anything to preserve that studio…why should I? I believe it's now a gym.

I was just asked to sign a petition and perhaps donate bucks to save a local restaurant that is not doing well. It's a very old establishment that in its heyday was indeed wonderful…but that's about all I can say for it. Once upon a time, I loved it and I don't know if it underwent a change of ownership or just what happened but the food became very disappointing, the prices were raised way too high and the service became poor and in one case, surly.

One evening, I took a group of friends to dine there and then go to a show. I had it timed perfectly except I hadn't figured on it taking more than forty-five minutes for our entrees to be prepared…and it wasn't because the place was busy. We were practically the only customers there, which perhaps should have been a tip-off.

After way too long, my dinner was placed before me…a steak that looked like it had been at Ground Zero during the nuclear test conducted on the Alamogordo Bombing Range on July 16, 1945. I asked the server, "Give me a hint…animal, vegetable or mineral?" and she actually said, "Ohmigod, you're right. Let me send the manager over." The manager took his own sweet time — time that we were running out of if we wanted to make the show — coming over. He instantly agreed with me that nothing on my plate looked edible and he said, "I'll have the kitchen remake it," whereupon we had the following exchange…

ME: Don't bother. We have to be at a show in twenty minutes. We should have left ten minutes ago. Just take it off the check…and can you get us that check, please?

HIM: I'm sorry, I can't do that. Restaurant policy. We can make you a new steak or you can eat that one but I have to charge you for a steak.

ME: I don't have time for you to cook me a new steak.

HIM: I'm sorry but that's not my problem.

ME: It is your problem because we got here at [I quoted the time-stamp on the parking valet ticket] and we didn't get served until about ten minutes ago. It's because of your slow service that I don't have time for you to make me a steak that I can eat.

I also didn't have time for this conversation. He insisted I pay the full check and if I wanted to, I could call up tomorrow and take the matter up with the owner. There didn't seem to be anything I could do and still make the show so I did. It took me several days and many calls to reach someone who (a) claimed to be the owner — I suspect he was not — and who (b) insisted his restaurant never served an inedible meal, end of discussion.

You might assume I never set foot in that establishment again. I certainly had every reason to stay far, far away. But as it turned out, I was commanded to appear at a couple of business-type lunches there for which someone else would be paying. And then one day, someone for whom I did a great favor gave me a gift certificate to dine there. I thought the food those times was about Sizzler quality for about six times the price.

And now, someone wants me to help save the place because it's old and it's been part of Los Angeles for so many years and so many people have great memories of it…and I'm not sure it's even in real jeopardy.

The plea to help says it might have to close if "we" don't do something. This feels like one of those Go Fund Me type things — I fell for one — where someone fibs and claims desperation of a financial/medical nature just to see how much money they can get. I am not suggesting all or even most Go Fund Me crusades are phony but the need for help here seems dicey.

So guess how much support they're going to get from me. Take a good guess and I'll give you a hint: It's the same amount I'm giving to the Add-Donald-Trump-To-Mount-Rushmore Fund. And if they have one of those "matching fund" deals, they can triple my donation and they'll still get the exact same amount.

Two more messages telling me that Donald Trump is personally disappointed not to find Mark Evanier's name in his list of donors and I should hurry in my donation because I don't want Donald Trump to think I let him down. Makes you wonder how many people this works on. Is there any man who turns to his wife and says, "Muriel! Fetch me my credit card! I need to send President Trump some money so he won't think I've abandoned him!"?

Don't scold me for the punctuation at the end of the above paragraph. I won't change it.

Yes, I am well aware that the lovely 'n' talented Diana Rigg died a few days ago. I didn't mention it at the time because I didn't want to be one of the first million guys in my age bracket to admit to having an enormous crush on the lady back when The Avengers was airing on American television. As I recall, she was on the Crush Scale a notch or three below Mary Tyler Moore in her Laura Petrie days and slightly above Yvonne Craig as Batgirl when she wasn't wearing the Batgirl costume. I never met Ms. Rigg and only found myself in the same room as her on this one occasion.

Hey, I got mentioned on Mental Floss. Thanks to all eight of you who wrote to tell me.

Lastly for now: On a webcast today, my buddy Leonard Maltin said that the best pizza in the world is the pizza at John's of Bleecker Street in New York. Leonard and I agree about 90% of the time about movies and now we agree 100% of the time about pizza. The only thing wrong with John's is that they have this silly 2,900 mile limit on deliveries.

Randy Rainbow has been occupied trying to mop up some unfortunate things he said. But he's back…

Here's Jason Graae again. This is one of the hundreds of great tunes written by the Belgian composer-writer-actor Jacques Brel. In his lifetime, Brel sold over 25 million records worldwide, making him the third best-selling Belgian recording artist of all time and performers in America often sing this song and none of the others. But Jason sings it so well…

• If I were Joe Biden, my campaign slogan would just be "Do you want it to be like this always?"

I know I'm missing the opportunity of a lifetime but I can't bring myself to send in the penny to become part of The Trump Donor Hall of Fame.

There continues to be too much news in my world. When I come across an item about how Paris Hilton is concerned about her reputation, I think, "There's room for that in any news feed? We have fires, hurricanes, dozens of crimes and outrageous statements alleged against the president, riots, a worldwide pandemic…

"…and someone has a smidgen of attention to pay to Paris Hilton's image problems? Or anything about Paris Hilton? Jeez."

The fires are nowhere near me but the skies are colors that skies should not be and the air doesn't feel or smell quite like air. It's air in the same sense that what they serve at Olive Garden is Italian food: Almost but not quite.

I wish this country invested more in Disaster Preparation and in helping people who are devastated by fires, floods, storms, quakes, etc. And there must be more things that could be done in advance to minimize some of those catastrophes.

Some cities in Northern California are reportedly toying with the idea of lowering the voting age to sixteen in local (only) elections. I am reminded how in 1970, there was a nationwide debate about lowering the voting age from 21 to 18. The folks in favor of lowering it had a very strong argument for the lowering: If you're old enough to die for your country, you're old enough to vote.

The folks against the proposal seemed to have only one argument and it went like this: It's a slippery slope! If you lower the voting age to 18, why not lower it to 16? Or 14? Someone will propose to let kids vote the minute they hit puberty! Slippery Slope Arguments often work like this. Someone can't come up with a logical reason to stop something so they take it to ridiculous extremes. We can't raise the speed limit from 55 MPH to 65 MPH because then we'll wind up raising it to 200 MPH! That kind of thing.

Despite many people saying it would inevitably lead to Kindergarteners voting while finger-painting, the age was lowered to 18…and then I never saw anyone suggest it should be lowered any more. No one. It's just like how the legalization of Same-Sex Marriage has not "inevitably" led to people marrying more than one other person or to cocker spaniels or anything that was forecast as a serious Slippery Slope.

It's taken almost fifty years for any governing body in this nation to even open discussions of voting for sixteen-year-olds. Some Slippery Slopes just turn out to be not the least bit slippery.

Apparently, so few people have qualified, you can now get in it with one donation…

Mark,

Wow.

We just checked your donor file, and according to our records, you only need ONE MORE donation to qualify for the Trump Donor Hall of Fame.

DONOR FILE
SUPPORTER: evanier
DONATIONS NEEDED: 1

You've been such an incredible part of our movement. All you need to do is take the next step to cement your name in history as a member of the prestigious Trump Donor Hall of Fame.

We can only guarantee your spot in the Trump Donor Hall of Fame for the NEXT HOUR, so act fast.

Please contribute ANY AMOUNT in the NEXT HOUR and get your name in the Trump Donor Hall of Fame.

I'm tempted to send them one cent. They say "any amount."

We were talking about game shows here the other day and this is a clip of the Fast Money round on a recent Celebrity Family Feud. Note that this is Celebrity Family Feud where the contestants are famous and they play for charity, not for themselves. That situation always liberates the producers of a game show from having to worry much about anyone claiming they were somehow cheated if rules are bent a little.

Family Feud clearly likes it when the winning family also wins the big bucks in Fast Money. It causes the episode to end on a great "up" note so the game is calibrated to make such wins likely but not inevitable. And they really like it if the money isn't won until the very last answer is revealed, thereby maintaining some suspense until the end.

When they have celebrities on, they make it even easier to get the big prize money. The team has to get to 200 points and the last of the five questions on this one pretty much guarantees that they'll get almost half that number of points just on that one question…and since it's the last, maybe they won't get it until the end. As you'll see, they're also more liberal with celebs about starting and stopping the clock.

In its existence, Family Feud has had six different hosts: Richard Dawson, Ray Combs, Louis Anderson, Richard Karn, John O'Hurley and (now) Steve Harvey. I assume devout fans of the show would insist Dawson was the all-time, never-to-be-topped best. Not that I would spend one minute of my life arguing the topic but I think Harvey is just as good.

Every time I've seen it and a contestant says something outrageous or silly, Harvey instantly comes up with a reaction that, without humiliating the contestant, extends the laugh and builds on it. He does it expertly in this clip which starts with a man giving what may not be the dumbest answer in the history of game shows but it's darn close…

Every month or two, some public figure who ought to know better utters some weird racist remark in public and lowers themselves in the eyes of others…and usually, it's a dual lowering. Some of us think less of them because they showed a stark racist streak. And some of us think less of them because they said something stupid and, like I said, should've known better. There are racists who are smart enough not to "out" themselves that way and, obviously, there are those who are not.

You've all read and heard the worst quotes from Donald Trump's chats with Bob Woodward in which, almost with a certain amount of pride, he told Woodward things about the virus that did not sync up with what he was concurrently telling the public about the virus. And if your opinion of the 45th President of the United States could possibly go down another notch or three, it did. You thought he was a hypocrite, a con-artist, a fill-in-any-synonym for "liar." It was bad enough when you thought he didn't know how bad the virus would be but did nothing. Now, it's he did know how bad the virus would be but did nothing. Much worse.

But there's also the "something stupid" aspect of this. How dumb do you have to be to just come out and say it? It's almost like he knew The Lincoln Project and other opposition forces (including his opponent) would be out there and wanted to make it easy for them to whip up some commercials about how he was unfit to serve.

And he told it to Bob "Watergate" Woodward! Bob Woodward…the guy who writes best-selling books that nuke public officials' carefully-calculated images. He gave him multiple on-the-record interviews and now he's reduced to lame excuses like he didn't know the man's reputation or that if the quotes were so bad, why didn't Woodward report them at the time? That may be an indictment of Woodward but it doesn't make the quotes any less damning.

I dunno how I feel about Woodward saving all that material for his book…but I have to admire his skill at getting Trump to speak so candidly and his wisdom to release the actual audio tapes.

But, come to think of it, maybe it would have been better if he'd done it this way: Release the quotes in print only, let Trump's defenders all insist that this was Fake News and Trump never said such damning things…and then release the audio to prove he had. Wouldn't it have been fun to watch all the enablers have to switch and say those damning fake quotes were actually real, non-damning ones? Which is what they would have tried because what else could they say?

I like music videos of the song "The Rhythm of Life" from the musical Sweet Charity…and the weirder, the better. Here's one…

In the past here, I've mentioned an auld acquaintance of mine named Gerard Jones. Gerry now resides in a Correctional Training Facility — that's a nicer term for "prison" — in Soledad, California. He's around a third of the way through a six-year sentence for possession of child pornography…which I'm sure we all agree is a pretty horrible thing to be involved with in any way. It's a crime and a pretty bad one, not of the "victimless" variety. As I wrote here a while back, I have had a lot of emotional responses to the news that he did this. They include anger, outrage, frustration, disgust, sadness…and I probably should have mentioned a hefty dose of shock.

He didn't seem like the kind of guy to be messing in something like that. But then I think of all the times someone goes ballistic with ballistics and starts randomly shooting masses of people (another pretty awful thing to do) and the reporters always find some neighbor or relative who'll say, "I can't believe it of him. He seemed like such a nice, quiet fellow." Maybe there's an important lesson right there: You can't always tell.

So now Gerry, being a writer, is doing what writers do: He's writing. There's a website that posts his little essays about his life and how it went horribly, horribly wrong. In his latest piece, he tackles the question, "Can you separate creative work from its author?," meaning could someone put aside the fact that he committed a despicable deed and enjoy his writing as a standalone matter?" He comes to the conclusion that we shouldn't; that it's all a part of who he is.

I'd already come to the conclusion that I can't separate the art from the artist. Not in this case and probably not in any other. I think that's also my answer when anyone asks me that about Bill Cosby or anyone who's been tossed behind bars for a crime of sex and/or violence.

I'm a fan of the musical, Catch Me If You Can.  Based on the film of the same name, it had a disappointingly brief run on Broadway…though it seems to be all the rage with colleges and community groups.  Back when there actually was live theater in the country, a fair amount of it was restagings of this show.

Here are Sam Gravitte and my pal Jason Graae in their respective living rooms singing one of the songs from the show. Usually, this would be performed with the two singers in the same place but you know how it is these days…

Long before she was Thelma Lou on The Andy Griffith Show…even before she was my neighbor when I was growing up in West Los Angeles…actress Betty Lynn was a contract player at 20th Century Fox.  Its studios were a few blocks from where the Evaniers and the Lynns lived. And in 1949, a few years before I was born, Betty had a big role in the film Mother is a Freshman, which also starred Loretta Young, Van Johnson, and Rudy Vallee.

And he's not billed but Charles Lane is in there.  That must be because of that law Hollywood seemed to have back then that every movie had to have a mean old man in it and the mean old man had to be Charles Lane.

I haven't seen the film in years so when the TiVo listings told me it was on TCM tonight at 6:45 PM, I set a recording for it…and if you're reading this in time, you may want to do likewise. But there's a possible problem…

They have a theme going here because according to those TiVo listings, Mr. Belvedere Goes to College precedes it at 5 PM and it's followed by Blondie Goes to College at 8:30. Fine…but the online TCM schedule doesn't mention Mother is a Freshman. It says Mr. Belvedere Goes to College (which runs 83 minutes) starts at 5 PM and is followed by Blondie Goes to College at 8:30.  These, I should mention, are all Pacific times.

Obviously, there's something else in there to fill the rest of that 3.5 hour gap and I presume it's Mother is a Freshman, which runs 81 minutes.  But maybe it's something else.  And if it's something else and it's of that era, it will doubtlessly have a mean old man in it and the mean old man will certainly be Charles Lane.