Facebook Friends

Facebook allows you 5,000 "friends," though I've heard their software sometimes cuts you off around 4,975. For the last few years, I've hovered around 4,900 with something like 900 friend requests. Since I knew I'd never be able to add all of them, I figured I'd hold a hundred spots open for people I knew really well. Somehow, my total has crept up to 4,952 and that's with me unfriending a half-dozen folks who were posting that Joe Biden is an android paid-for by George Soros with the express purpose of blowing up Earth.

So my apologies to those of you who, for sheer numeric reasons, will never make it to my Friends list. Believe me: You're not missing anything.