I've tried unsubscribing to these things but I continue to get them. Maybe I continue to get them because I've tried unsubscribing to them…
Mark, you've been identified as one of President Trump's BEST supporters, and we wanted to reach out to let you know about your EXCLUSIVE offer.
President Trump originally authorized a 600%-MATCH on all contributions, but we're SO CLOSE to CRUSHING our $30,000,000 End-of-Month Goal that he's decided to up the stakes. FOR ONE HOUR: all contributions will be 700%-MATCHED!
That's right, Mark. When you make your next contribution, it will make 700% MORE of an impact.
This offer is only available for the NEXT HOUR, so you need to act fast.
Please contribute ANY AMOUNT RIGHT NOW to help us CRUSH our End-of-Month Goal and your gift will be 700%-MATCHED.
The President will be reviewing the updated list of Deadline Donors later tonight. Will he see your name on it?
I don't quite get how this works. Trump says to his guys, "Tell them that for every $100 they give, we'll get $700 instead of $600." Who from? It makes it sound like Trump is donating the money to himself but only on the condition that I send some money first. If I don't send him the $100, he won't give himself the other $600.
And this e-mail arrived in my e-mailbox around 4:00 in the morning so by the time I saw it, the one hour was long over. So I guess now if I were to give him the $100, he wouldn't give himself the extra money so what's the point? Oh, if only he'd made his generous offer to himself good for six hours.
But I do believe Trump's personally going to look over the list of donors tonight and notice that my name is not on there. And he's going to turn to some aide and say, "What's with Evanier? He used to be one of my BEST supporters." And maybe someone will gently break the crushing news to him that I've never given him a nickel and I've always thought he was a horrible, destructive human being.