Like you, I keep coming across these lists on social media where you're asked to specify which of a number of activities you've engaged in. Here's one with my answers…
- Smoked weed — Never smoked anything, not even one joint, one cigarette or one ham. Honest.
- Popped pills — Only what a doctor of mine said I should take and sometimes not even then.
- Went streaking — Once with some others when it was age-appropriate and kind of a current fad. Be glad you weren't there to see it.
- Skinny dipped — Yeah, many times. Be glad you haven't been around.
- Been arrested — Never. I don't care what the people who watched Pink Lady & Jeff demanded.
- Gotten into a fist fight — Once in my high school locker room but it only lasted one punch (from me) and the guy admitted later he deserved it.
- Gotten drunk — Though the sheriffs who occasionally stop my car for one of those random sobriety tests don't believe it, I've never had even a sip of alcohol. Honest.
- Wrecked a car — Nope. Part of that may be because I've never had even a sip of alcohol.
- Egged someone's house — I can't imagine doing something that juvenile and stupid even back when I was juvenile and stupider.
- Played Ding Dong Ditch — I don't know how to play that but I bet I haven't.
- Been suspended — No. I assume this means "from school" and not "on a rope" but I haven't done either.
- Been expelled — No. The way they tried to get me out of school was by having me skip grades.
- Pulled a fire alarm — Once when there actually was a fire. I suspect the person who made up this list didn't have that possibility in mind.
- TP'ed someone's property — See #9.
- Stolen something — A glance, a base, a kiss…but nothing of value.
- Gotten a ticket — A few times for parking and once, when I backed off an obviously-drunk driver on the freeway, cops didn't stop him but they stopped me and gave me a ticket for driving too slow.
- Drag raced — Of course not. I'm the guy who once got a ticket for driving too slow on the freeway.
- Gotten a felony — Yeah, right. I just look like a guy who has done hard time.
- Graffitied something — Only once when a bunch of us were asked by a school principal to decorate a wall. At least, he said he was the principal.
- Been kicked out of class — Never…and what is it with all these questions about being kicked out of school? I didn't even get punished the time at University High when I punched that kid. (See #6)
Okay. I'm done with this.