Three Things I Like That I Bought on Amazon

In the last few weeks, I've made Jeff Bezos a little richer — hey, the guy needs the money — by buying a few pretty useful (to me) things. The first two relate to my welfare during my COVID-19 banishment from the world and the third has to do with the feral cats I feed in my backyard.

First up is the Innosipo Touchless Automatic Soap Dispenser. Like you if you have a brain in that head of yours, I wash my hands a lot these days. I like liquid soap for this activity but I keep having trouble with those "pump" bottle of the stuff. The pump part always breaks or jams or just plain doesn't work.

Solution: I bought one of these and poured the soap from a jammed bottle into it…and now it dispenses perfectly. I then bought two more for other bathrooms in my home. Each one takes four AAA batteries which are not included. The instructions say not to put alcohol in it so it's not designed for hand sanitizer.

Then there's the AXHKIO Infrared Non-Contact Forehead Thermometer. There are dozens of these on Amazon and this is one of the cheaper ones. I bought one and it works fine.

I wasn't sure it did at first because every single time I used it on myself, it told me my temperature was 97.7. But I've had my temp taken by other such handheld devices in doctors' offices and it turns out my temperature is always 97.7. And I used it on a friend who was visiting and her temperature was 98.1 so it doesn't always say 97.7.

I assume all the others they sell on Amazon work well but this was cheaper than most of 'em and it works. It's kind of comforting to find out my temperature is normal, which for me is 97.7 — same as my I.Q., the age I feel I am first thing in the morning and, the way things are going, Donald Trump's Disapproval Ratings by the end of October.

Lastly: As you know, I feed Lydia, Murphy and the occasional Special Guest Varmint in my backyard. I have big bags of dry cat food and a cupboard full of the canned stuff and I alternate — wet in the morning, dry in the evening. Both are Friskies brand…and to the folks who've written me that other brands are better for the felines: I've been feeding Friskies to Lydia now since 1991, which is like thrice the usual lifespan of a feral cat in an urban area. She's so healthy, I'm thinking of eating the stuff myself.

Usually, I buy the cases of Friskies canned cat food that they sell at Costco. The box they have of 60 cans contains ten each of Mariner's Catch, Mixed Grill, Turkey & Giblets Dinner, Ocean Whitefish & Tuna Dinner, Chicken & Tuna Dinner and Chicken & Liver Dinner. It sells for $36.59, which works out to 61 cents per can.

I have never had any reason to believe that the cats care which flavor they get. They're feral cats so they eat anything edible and they attack each bowl with the same gusto. Nevertheless, I felt a tad guilty giving them the same six things over and over. So just to make me feel better, I bought one of these from Amazon…

It's the Friskies YUMbelievaBOX YUM-credible Surprises adult wet cat food variety pack. That seems to be its official name even though the box abbreviates it. It's 40 cans for $21.63, which is 54 cents a can but that's not the reason I like it. I like it because it's a much wider variety of flavors.

What flavors? Well, I'm speculating here but I think it's whatever the Friskies people have too much of in the warehouse. It's like a Pussycat Food Mystery Box with all sorts of varieties, some of which I don't think I ever saw on the shelves of a Los Angeles market. They might be flavors that were test-marketed and didn't sell or discontinued ones or they just plain had too many of them in stock.

They all seem to be well ahead of their expiration dates but maybe these could have stayed in inventory too long if they weren't clearing them out in these boxes. And I say "boxes" (plural) because I bought two more of these and they all seem to have slightly different contents, not itemized on the website or on the outside of the box. Someone just grabs whatever cans are within reach, fills a carton, seals it and ships it off to Amazon.

The cats are exactly as satisfied — no more, no less — with the chow they're getting from these crates. I feel better because I'm not giving them the same six flavors over and over…and I am saving seven whole cents per can — which, the way Murphy eats, feels like a couple of bucks a day.