Dispatches From the Fortress – Day 100

It's been 100 days since my wise physician "suggested" I stay at home and be super-cautious about going out or letting people in. Those hundred days haven't been all that bad, in large part because I'm a work-at-home kinda guy who doesn't mind functioning in a kind of "controlled alone." I wish it wasn't like this but I long ago grasped the concept — which some folks I know or see on TV could stand to learn — of making the best of a bad situation you are powerless to fix. I spent a good twenty minutes trying to invent a vaccine for the coronavirus, failed and decided to just hunker down and bunker down.

I go out occasionally. Yesterday, properly masked, I went to my podiatrist as part of my campaign to outgrow having ingrown toenails. I also went to a Target store to not go in but to stay outside and have them bring out an order of supplies, and I went to the place where they make See's Candies.

I dunno how popular it is outside California but See's Candy is all the rage in this state. I gave up eating candy or anything of the sort around 2008 but back when I did eat that kind of thing, I struggled with See's assortments for reasons I explained in this post. That post also contains a link to a video tour of the building where I went yesterday but I was not allowed inside. No one was, not even into the part of the building that's usually a retail store.

Why I Went There: I have an elderly neighbor on whom I keep an eye and I occasionally drive her places she needs to go. She says she can't sleep at night unless just before bedtime, she consumes one of the Licorice Medallions they make at See's Candy. The local See's shops are, she told me, all out of that product and so is she. They're only available at the factory so I swung by for her. I am a very good neighbor.

Like I said, no one was allowed inside. On the door, there were signs explaining how it works: You order with a credit card either on their site or by calling a phone number which I had to dial eight times to get through to a human being. You order, you pay and then a lady in a HAZMAT suit comes to the door and hands you your goodies. I waited for ten minutes out there among a crowd of masked individuals and one loud lady who was proud of her unmaskedness and also — why will you not be surprised? — her Trump/Pence t-shirt.

As she extolled the virtues of the once and — and if she has her way, permanent president — she was so annoying that I finally turned to her and said, more for the crowd's benefit than hers, "Why are you campaigning for him in a state that he's going to lose by thirty-five points? Go campaign in Texas where the polls say he and Biden are tied."

She yelled — she didn't say, she yelled — "They're not tied! The polls are all lies! They said he had no chance to win in 2016!"

I said — I did not yell — "No, they said he had a slim chance and sometimes, slim chances happen. It sometimes rains when there's a 20% chance of rain. And the polls were right insofar as the popular vote was concerned."

She argued back that the election results were lies, too. Trump carried the popular vote by a huge margin and it would have been even bigger if Hillary had been sent to prison where she belongs. I asked her, "On what charges?" and of course, she couldn't name one. I think this lady just believes that anyone she doesn't like should be in prison. The guy she's voting for in November certainly does.

Understand that I was not trying to change this person's mind about a thing. I was just killing time, waiting for licorice and amusing those waiting for their chocolate-covered anythings. There are in this world Trump supporters with whom one can have an actual conversation and they accept a certain amount of reality. My most gung-ho-for-Donald friend admits that most of what we all say about the guy is true. He just prefers the Trump agenda to the alternatives and wishes there was a way to get it from someone who acts more presidential and doesn't swing wildly at every pitch.

Anyway, Ms. TrumpVoter and I went back and forth, much to the delight of the onlookers until a bagful of licorice was handed to me. I wished her Good Luck avoiding the virus and I told her, "You know, you could wear a mask and lessen your chances of getting it or infecting someone else and still support Donald Trump." She didn't seem to believe that and it may be the rottenest of all the rotten things that man has done to his fans…linking those two things.