The subject line is a reference to a great Allan Sherman song parody. It's to the tune of "Bye-Bye, Blackbird" and it's about a traveling salesman named Charlie Bloomberg. If you want to hear it, click this link. But I'm borrowing it to refer to another, real Bloomberg…
Yesterday afternoon, I got a phone call that my elaborate network of spam detectors did not flag as a solicitor. It was a live human being who was calling to try to convince me to mark my ballot for Mike Bloomberg. He started reading from a script about how Bloomberg had taken on the N.R.A. and how Bloomberg had led the nation's largest city through the 9/11 recovery and Hurricane Sandy and how Bloomberg had given zillions to worthy causes…
And when he got to "Bloomberg runs an absolutely transparent campaign with full disclosure and no secrets," I interrupted to ask him…
ME: Could you tell me where you got my phone number?
HIM: It was on a list I was given.
ME: Yes but that list came from somewhere. Can you tell me where? Or can you use some of that absolute transparency you just mentioned to find out where it came from?
HiM: No, I really can't. Listen, just let me finish…
ME: Because you don't get paid unless you get all the way through the script?
HIM: No. Listen, buddy. I get paid either way.
ME: You even get paid if I tell you to eat shit and then I go mark my ballot for Bernie Sanders or Joe Biden?
HIM: Yeah.
ME: Okay. Don't spend it all in one place! Bye!
And with that, I hung up on him and completely ruled out the notion of voting for Michael Bloomberg in the primary. I was already 99% sure he wasn't the guy but it's always nice to get to 100 with things like that.