Among my many reasons for disliking Donald Trump is how his actions and words have made so many people so tense. I know one of the things some of his supporters love about him is how nervous and unhappy he makes those of us who dread the notion of him having a second term…
…but it's clear on the Internet that he's also making some of those supporters even more nervous and unhappy that he might not. If I believed the future of mankind hinges on him getting four more years, I'd be cringing every time he started ranting about windmills and toilets and looked like he was really losing whatever marbles he might once have possessed. Or each time his backers — and this is happening a lot — have to switch from "He absolutely did not do what he's being accused of" to "Yes, of course he did it but it's absolutely not a crime."
I long for the days when it was Michael Dukakis against George H. W. Bush. I cared then who won, of course, but not that much. None of my friends who had a preference — and one or two did not — feared the end of America and maybe the world if the wrong guy won.
That was kind of a dirty election, I thought…but it already looks like a picnic in the park compared to the one we have ramping up before us. By October, what we have happening now will look like the picnic.
Do yourself a favor and separate the polls that might matter now from those that don't. When folks tell pollsters that there is no way in the world they'd ever vote for Trump or no way they'd ever not vote for Trump, I think those numbers are significant. We're a stubborn people that way. Then again, I think if someone says, "If the Democratic nominee is anyone but Elizabeth Warren [or whoever], I'm not voting," I think that's less meaningful.
By Election Day, we'll be so polarized and the vote will be so much about saving the world, those folks will vote for whoever the Democratic nominee is unless it's like Donald Jr., and the way things are going, that would only surprise me a little. I'm considering anyone who isn't convinced Trump is the Anti-Christ or that Obama was a "swing voter."
This is all presuming Trump is still the Republican nominee or that there isn't a viable third-party Conservative in the race to reap the votes of those who yearn for the pre-Trump days of the G.O.P. Remember how on the original Mickey Mouse Club, one day a week was "Anything Can Happen Day?" Well, it wasn't quite anything. I mean, you knew that Annette was not going to flash the camera and Walt was not going to come out and declare free admission to Disneyland for anyone who votes for Adlai Stevenson…
…but the premise was, at least in theory, that something you never imagined might happen would happen. So welcome to "Anything Can Happen Year."
Remember how one day not so long ago, you hadn't heard anything about Trump maybe withholding aid to Ukraine until they announced an investigation into the possible corruption of people named Biden? Then suddenly, that's all you heard about.
Remember how one day not so long ago, you hadn't heard anything about the need to kill a man named Qassem Suleimani? Then suddenly, that's all you heard about.
Remember how one day not so long ago, you'd never heard of a man named Lev Parnas?
Calm the "F-word" down, people. There are a lot more Qassem Suleimanis and Lev Parnases in our future. If you get to Peak Hysteria now, where are you going to be next September, let alone the day before the election? Save it for then. That's when you may need it.