Pesho Karivanov wrote in on two topics. I'll deal with them one at a time…
Hi Mark. Pesho here. I find your advice for people who want to have a career in writing quite profound. Your stories are very amusing. And your article on Gwen Verdon really highlights that underrated of actresses true greatness, in my opinion. I wanted to ask you why do you keep insisting that neither Trump or Biden will be nominees of their respective parties? There is 0 indication that the candidates will be anyone but them.
Democrats are going to lose New York's electoral votes for the first time in years if Warren or Bernie get selected, because Wall Street despises both of them. Biden will probably lose because of the sniffing and touchy-feely and likewise Trump might lose because of all of his crimes, scandals and just his petty and childish behavior. But A) Biden has the best chance of beating Trump without alienating New York B) Even if Trump gets impeached, he will be elected by his party. Well, what indication is there that Weld, Sanford or Walsh are even electable? No one is talking about them.
You're misunderstanding my prediction…because it really wasn't a prediction. I said "I'm still not convinced that either Biden or Trump will be on the final ballot." This has nothing to do with the polls. It has everything to do with, first of all, the fact that Election Day is still 403 days away. I know with all we're hearing about the election, it feels like it has to be this November, not next November but trust me on this. 403 days.
At this point in the battle for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination, the front runner was Herman Cain. And the political situation is a lot more volatile now than it was then. It's easy for me to imagine Biden, Warren and Sanders all faltering and someone else — maybe even someone who has not yet gotten into the race — slipping in there. (Much less easy for me to imagine New York not going Democratic, no matter who the nominee is.)
And remember, I would happily vote for Joe, Elizabeth or Bernie. I just think there's a long, grueling campaign ahead and it's possible any of them could have new scandals or health issues or major gaffes or voter fatigue (sometimes, we just get sick of someone) or any of a dozen other things knocking them down. Republicans are going to throw unprecedented quantities of mud at them and even bogus mud sometimes sticks or provokes a damaging response.
As for Trump, I certainly am not thinking that Weld, Sanford or Walsh would be the candidate. There's more chance of you being the Republican nominee with me as your running mate. But we're going to have one of these scandals about Trump every week or two for the rest of his time in office. Even some voters who still favored Nixon's policies decided he was too mired in criminal charges to stick with, plus he was starting to look seriously unstable. Trump's ability to utter a coherent sentence is diminishing another notch each time Seth Meyers takes "A Closer Look."
This is not a prediction. It's just a scenario I see as possible. Polls start to show a G.O.P. bloodbath with the loss of the Senate quite possible. Some Senators and Congressmen with constituencies that aren't solid red start to worry and decide that to survive, they have to distance themselves from this guy. Today, a lot of them are hiding under their desks, afraid to go on the record as soundly defending his conduct.
In Nixon's case, several leading Republicans (including Barry Goldwater) who were still officially on his side went to him and said they'd be deserting the ship rather than go down with it. Already, you can see certain prominent Repubs who recognize this as possible positioning themselves to be able to leap in if there's even a hint of an opening. Why do you think we're suddenly hearing from Mitt Romney?
I'm not saying it will happen…just that this whole race and the whole Trump administration are so unpredictable that you can't rule anything out. Trump could suddenly up and convert the entire Executive Branch to a chain of vape shops. Would you bet that a month from now, we won't be talking about a new Trump scandal, twice the severity of the Ukrainian matter, that suddenly came out of nowhere?
On to your other question…
My second question is far more simple. I recently heard on Gilbert Gottfried's podcast that Jay Leno eulogized Joe E. Ross? Do you know if this is true and — out of morbid curiosity — What is your opinion of Joe E. Ross? In my opinion, the man was very funny.
I think Joe E. Ross was very funny when he was performing a script in a TV show produced by Nat Hiken…but nowhere else. On the Sgt. Bilko show or Car 54, Where Are You?, he was hilarious but from all accounts, very hard to work with. I wrote about that back here.
What I didn't mention in that piece was a negative feeling I acquired about Mr. Ross in the early eighties when I was dating a lovely young lady named Bridget Holloman. Sweetest person you ever met in your life. When Bridget first came to Hollywood, she was immediately roped into a co-starring role in a dreadful movie called Slumber Party '57, which she hated. She hated the way she was treated during the filming, she hated doing nude scenes which she felt she was forced into, she hated fighting to get her check, she hated encountering people who'd seen this movie and wouldn't let her forget it…
…and what she hated most of all was being groped by one of her co-stars, Joe E. Ross. He only had a small role in it but he was around long enough to give her nightmares and to cause her to jump if someone said, "Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!" around her. I won't go into the details she furnished (this ain't no porn site) but Bridget was absolutely honest and if she said you were a pig, a pig you were. Guys like him are why we have a #MeToo movement today and needed one for a century of two before. Every single person I've ever met who worked with Ross has stories that basically describe the same Master of the Inappropriate.
I don't think Jay Leno said he delivered a eulogy at Ross's funeral. I think he said he was there and reported on the cavalcade of hookers who traipsed up to the podium to mourn their favorite customer. The first one allegedly said, "Joe E. was a great guy. He always paid."
There are a lot of stories around about Ross. As told in the recent book by friends Jeff Abraham and Burt Kearns (this one), he died in the middle of a comedy performance in the rec room of an apartment complex where he was then living. He was supposed to be paid $100 for it and his widow, who needed the money I guess, asked a friend to go to whoever was going to pay it and collect the fee. The friend went…and was handed fifty dollars by someone who said, "He only did half the show."
Who was the friend? I dunno. I've heard a half-dozen acquaintances of Joe E. say it was them. It's one of those stories that's so good, some comedians can't resist claiming it as their own. The funeral with its parade of older hookers is apparently another. It was so infamous and so many people told stories from it that a lot of folks who weren't there claim that they were. I don't know if Jay Leno was one of the ones who actually was but I don't think he claimed he spoke at it. Thanks for the questions, Pesho.