After the mass shooting in El Paso but before the mass shooting in Dayton — that's how we tell time in this country now — I took a friend to see Dick Van Dyke perform at the Catalina Bar and Grill in Hollywood and here's my review: Terrible. Just terrible.
That's a review of the food at the Catalina Bar and Grill, not Dick Van Dyke who was as wonderful as you'd imagine Dick Van Dyke could be. In fact, he was so wonderful that an absolutely packed house (few in the standby line made it in) endured the meals that preceded the show. My steak could have been used to resole a shoe and my date left her swordfish largely unconsumed. In fairness, Stu Shostak and his wife Jeanine who shared a table with us were happier with the chicken and the mushroom ravioli.
Everyone who loves cabaret performing — someone performing on stage with a tiny band or one pianist — bitches about the lack of better venues in Los Angeles. Vitello's out in the valley isn't a bad room. The Federal out on Lankershim is passable. Everyone hates the Gardenia on Santa Monica. And then there's the Catalina and just about nowhere else. We go to these places in spite of unspectacular cuisine and the many inconveniences of parking and seating because we want to see certain performers and there simply are no better venues. (Actually, the chow is pretty good at Vitello's.)
We go because that's where you see people like Dick Van Dyke…and yes, I know that's a misleading statement. There are no other people like Dick Van Dyke, arguably the most likeable performer in the history of mankind. If you don't love Dick Van Dyke, there's something really, really wrong with you.
Yeah, he's 93. And he does pretty well up there for a guy who's 93. Sings okay, dances a little…manages to be real funny, mostly with joking about being 93 and not being able to remember what the next number is. He had help up there — from his lovely wife Arlene, from his vocal group The Vantastix, and from a pretty good band. When the band struck up the theme from The Dick Van Dyke Show and he shuffled up onto the stage, it was worth eating the Odor Eaters that were being passed off as New York Steak. There were many such moments.
He and the Vantastix opened with an a cappella "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang." They closed with a sing-along "Let's Go Fly a Kite" and we all sang along. In between, he and Arlene sang some of the duets that Rob and Laura Petrie warbled on The Dick Van Dyke Show like "Mountain Greenery." Dick sang a few old jazzy songs from his childhood. They did "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" and "Step in Time" and a few other tunes you'd eat cockroaches to hear Dick Van Dyke perform. Mostly, we sat there and just loved him.
In early 1965, shortly before my 13th birthday, my parents and I attended the filming of an episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show. I wrote about that life-changing evening here. I got to see the man in person and chat with him briefly from our seats in the front row of the bleachers. In the last few years, I've gotten to spend some time with him and it's oh-so-terrific when your heroes don't disappoint you; when what you love about them turns out to be utterly and totally justified and valid.
Last night, Dick Van Dyke didn't do one thing wrong. Unless, of course, he cooked that steak…but I could even forgive him for that. Are you beginning to suspect that I had a very good time?