In the late eighties, I used to go to Las Vegas ten or more times a year. I was a bit obsessed with card-counting at Blackjack, not so much for the monetary benefits but truly as one of those things that you do just to see if you could do it. I did it enough to satisfy myself that I could do it, then gave it up forever. It turned out to be not as much fun as one might think: Mild rewards for a helluva lot of work.
People ask me, "Weren't you afraid of getting caught and having some goon drag you into the back room and beat the crap outta you?" Not really. If they still do that to anyone, they don't do it to anyone playing at the low levels where I kept my winning. At first — and at worst — they'd back you off, telling you to take your action elsewhere. That only happened to me once — it was at the Las Vegas Club downtown, which is no longer there — and oddly enough, I wasn't winning due to counting at that moment. I was winning just because the dealer happened to be dealing me great hands. They do that sometimes.
But I was wearing one of those big Casio watches that stored a hundred phone numbers in it and that looked more Jetson-y than it was. There was nothing on it that could aid a person in gambling but the Casino Host Guy who watched for cheating didn't know that, decided it was suspicious and excluded me.
I never played Craps. I never played Keno. I never played Roulette or Poker or Pai-Gow or most other games. I occasionally put some bucks into slot machines or, more often, Video Poker machines…but my only gambling really was Blackjack. I have not played even a hand of it this century.
Nor have I even kept up on the rule changes. A "natural" in Blackjack is when you're dealt an ace and a 10-value card (K,Q,J,10) and they traditionally pay 3-2, meaning that your bet of $20 gets you $30. A lot of casinos have switched on certain games to 6-5 payoffs which means a natural pays less. I haven't bothered to learn how that alters Basic Strategy since my Blackjack days are behind me.
How do you win in Vegas? You play until you're ahead, then give it up forever. That's the only way and it's what I did. If I'd kept playing, at some point I would have given it all back…and then some.
So I liked Blackjack there for a while. More than that, I liked the shows. They were cheap and diverse and I had a lot of "ins" to get backstage and meet the performers. In the eighties, there were still a lot of acts around who'd been working that town for a long time and I met a lot of showroom managers who had tales of Frank and Dino and Sammy and their era.
I liked the stories. I liked hanging out with comedians. I liked the feeling of pure show business. The showgirls who walked around naked backstage at some shows were not without their appeal. One of these days, I'd like to write a novel about one of those days.
I also liked the buffets. They cost a lot more now but even if they were still their old prices, they're not for me. Since my Gastric Bypass, I'm physically unable to eat enough to justify more than about a quarter of the price at the cheapest buffet. Last time I took Amber to Vegas, I took her to a buffet that was $39.95 per person and she isn't a big eater, either. I think I actually lost more at that one buffet than I ever did on slot machines.
What do I still like? The people. I enjoy being around people enjoying themselves. I like that I've gotten away from home but so many things I need are handy. In my hotel, there's a 24-hour restaurant serving quite edible pizza. I was working all night and at 4 AM one morn, I took a break, started doing a backup and virus scan on my laptop and left it running while I went down and grabbed a slice.
I like walking in Las Vegas, especially when the wind is clean and crisp and in my face. I like just studying the hotels, noting how they do what they do and why they do it.
But there is a drawback to walking on The Strip when you're a guy and you're by yourself. You get approached (sometimes, accosted) by hookers. I've never patronized one of those people but I sure get offers. I'll tell you about last week's sales pitch in the next one of these.