Any way we can move this election up to tomorrow? I'm not in a hurry to get to the part where all the losers scream about rigged voting machines, eligible voters being denied access to the polls, and general ballot-tampering…but as with most dental work, it's better to get it over with.
I still get three or four unsolicited phone calls per day from someone — a different caller each time — who either wants me to hire them to do work on my home or who is fronting for such a person. The second one today immediately launched into a pitch about how unfailingly honest and candid their company is and how all their books on my job would be open for my full inspection and they'd never hide a thing from me. I asked, "Where did you obtain the list of homeowners you're calling?" The man on the other end said, "Sorry, I've been ordered not to give out that information."
I have to go write something and send it off before 5:30. When I come back later, I've finally learned why there's a severe traffic problem in my area. It's because Barbra Streisand and James Corden keep driving around the neighborhood singing songs from her albums.