The power came back on here at 3:05 AM and my life resumed. How come my computer can stay on for a while when the electricity goes out, thanks to my Uninterruptible Power Supply, but traffic lights don't?
Yesterday, I got a call from a gent who's running a comic convention in a faraway town, says he's a huge fan of my work and wants to fly me in to be a guest and he'll give me a nice monetary guarantee. I asked him, "Guarantee against what?" He said, "Well, you know…you sit there and sell sketches to your fans and if your gross doesn't hit the guarantee amount, we'll buy sketches from you to make up the difference so you're guaranteed to go home with that amount."
It's not that difficult to spot the people who are "a big fan of your work" but have no friggin' idea what you do. One tip-off: They use the words "legend" and "icon" a lot, as he did in every third sentence. Everything you've ever done or will ever do is "legendary" and/or "iconic." This morning, for example, I took a legendary shower and then ate an iconic bowl of cereal. I told the guy…
- I don't do sketches. I really don't draw much anymore and even when I did, what resulted was not the kind of thing discerning folks would shell out actual cash to acquire. Long ago, I decided I had a future in writing and enjoyed it way more. Also, lack of ability had something to do with it. Had I stayed with drawing and practiced and practiced, I would now be about one-fourteenth as good as most of my artist friends (one twenty-eighth as good as Sergio) and I'd probably be homeless and sleeping on the back stairs of a Chipotle.
- At conventions, I don't sit behind a table. Been there, done that, bored silly by it. Maybe when I get older, the "sitting down" part will matter more to me but right now, nope. I can manage it for an hour or two here and there but not three whole days.
His reaction to these revelations was along the lines of "Then what the hell am I doing talking to you?" He didn't say those words but it was there in his accusatory tone. Ergo, I will not be a guest at this convention which, I see from its website, thinks anyone who works in comics is an Artist, including folks who don't even draw as much as I once did, which was not a lot.
Come to think of it though, I have a reason for wanting to go to Chicago some time between mid-April of 2019 and mid-October. I'll tell you the reason shortly but for now, if any convention operator reading this would like to pay expenses to the Windy City (or anywhere near it) during those months for me and my lady friend, I will be a guest at your convention. I'll even sit behind a table and sell sketches…but I warn you that if you give me a guarantee of anything over around twenty bucks, you're going to lose money on the deal.