So I'm in my friendly neighborhood you-know-where and I'm waiting in line to pick up a prescription. Ahead of me is a Very Confused Lady (who shall henceforth be known as the V.C.L.) and she is being served by a Very Patient Pharmacy Associate (henceforth, the V.P.P.A.). The V.C.L. picked up a prescription the day before, took it home and found herself unable to get the friggin' cap off the friggin' container of the friggin' pills. In desperation, she has brought it back to the C.V.S.
The V.P.P.A. takes the container and with darn near no effort, pops the lid off. A small child could have done it and so could a small gerbil or marmoset. "These are our new caps," the V.P.P.A. explains. "They're Easy Open." In an instructional way, she takes the lid off again, puts it back on again, takes the lid off again, puts it back on again, takes the lid off again, puts it back on again, takes the lid off again, puts it back on again, takes the lid off again, puts it back on again, and hands it to the V.C.L.
The V.C.L. holds the vial and attempts to do what the V.P.P.A. just did. This time, the cap not only comes off easily, it comes off so easily that the V.C.L. is startled and she accidentally dumps all the pills on the floor.
The V.C.L. attempts to scoop the pills up off the dirty floor and into the container but the V.P.P.A. (acting very responsibly) will not allow that. She insists the V.C.L. wait and she gives the vial to the Head Pharmacist so she can dole out a fresh serving of the pills at — apparently — no cost. Then the V.P.P.A. cleans up the soiled pills and discards them. Then she presents a new container of the pills to the V.C.L. but not before demonstrating three more times how to open it.
The V.C.L. takes the new supply, flips the top off easily and once again accidentally spills them out onto the ground. Wonderful.
By now, the Very Patient Pharmacy Associate has become just the P.A. but she goes to the Head Pharmacist, they have a brief discussion and the following is decided: The Very Clumsy Lady (as she shall henceforth be called) may have one more free refill but that's it. The pharmacy cannot spare any more of whatever medication this is or they may not have enough to fill others' orders before they can get more. If these hit the linoleum, she'll need to take the matter up with her doctor or her insurance company or a Walgreens or anyone else.
It is at this point that a Clever, Handsome Bystander (who henceforth will be known as M.E.) steps up. He asks and receives permission to make some suggestions and then makes three…
The first is that when the V.C.L. takes the new vial home, she should put a clean towel on her bed and then attempt to open the vial over the towel. Thus, if the pills fall again, they will remain takeable.
The second is that the C.V.S. should also provide her with an empty container with the new style cap so she can practice opening it until she masters the art.
And the third is that if she has one of the old caps around, she puts it on the new container until such time as she does master that art.
Everyone — including the nineteen other customers who have been waiting in line behind M.E. — praises his suggestions and the V.C.L. leaves with a new supply of the pills and an empty practice vial.
M.E. then steps up to the counter to claim his own prescription and as the P.A. rings it up, the Head Pharmacist saunters over and thanks him for his wise input. M.E. says to her, "I guess the new easy open caps aren't as easy as they're supposed to be."
The Head Pharmacist sighs and says, "They would be if only someone could invent some way that people with her problem could take one of those pills before attempting to open the container."