My amigo of about half a century Tony Isabella and his too-good-for-him wife Barb were in town for one day, flown in for the premiere of the Ant-Man movie. They were on such a tight turnaround that the only way I could see them was to volunteer to pick them up at their hotel in Hollywood and drive them to their flight at LAX, stopping off for breakfast on the way. I wish I had a friend like me.
I chauffeured them to Pann's, an old-style coffee shop that seems to exist largely as a place to eat breakfast when you're going to or from Los Angeles International Airport. Tony, Barb and I talked about all sorts of things including the current TV show and comic book resurgence of Black Lightning, a hero born of the vast imagination of Mr. Isabella.
We also had an interesting discussion about how when we re-read comics we liked back in the seventies, we find that some of the work holds up well, some actually improves with age and some of it causes you to wonder, "What the heck did I like about this back then?" I shall expand on this topic one of these days in this space.
Before we left for the airport, I had to use the restroom. I was delighted to find that Pann's has now designated one just for me…and I know this because it has my initials on the door. I shall have to stop in and use it more often…
Dumped them off, then went to Fry's Electronics in El Segundo and couldn't find a single thing I wanted to buy. If you've ever been to a Fry's, you know that something is horribly, horribly wrong when you can't find nineteen things you want to buy. I'm just not sure if it's wrong with them or me but I suspect it has much to do with the ease of ordering from Amazon Prime.
I had no such problem at my next stop, which was at a Costco — and I think I'll stick in one of these which I haven't done lately…
What I think I love most about Costco is that moment as you and your cart head for checkout, you look at the mass quantities you've selected and you momentarily think, "This is great! I won't have to go shopping again until late next year…if then!" This is followed by the sad realization that some necessities of life are perishable so you cannot stock up with them at Costco and not have to stop in at a supermarket later in the week. Oh, why oh why can't Costco stock bread and vegetables that stay fresh forever?
Of course, I feasted on some yummy Costco dim sum, which is what I call the free samples available throughout the store. I watched as one young man sampled a little cupcake-wrapper full of "kettle" potato chips, enjoyed the hell out of them, then began going around and around one of those long aisles so he could pass the potato chip lady again, grabbing another free sample each go-round. She either wasn't paying attention, didn't care or thought that every ninth shopper who helped himself to chips was a clone of the same person.
Ahead of me in line at checkout was a lady with a cart that looked like this truly was the last time she would be shopping until late next year…if then. And she certainly had enough toilet paper to last a family of six until about 2027. She was giggling and expressing audible delight at the great prices as she transferred everything from the basket up onto the conveyor belt.
That was when the checker asked her for her Costco membership card — to which the woman replied, "Oh, I don't have one. Do I really need one?" Behind her in line, all of us thought, "Oh, we're going to be here for a while." Others farther back immediately shifted over to other lines but I was next and I decided I'd do better to tough it out. It got pretty tough.
The whole concept of membership was explained to this woman. She could not shop Costco without a Costco card, the cheapest of which runs $60. She should not even have been allowed into the store without one but somehow, she'd slipped past the person at the door at whom you proudly flash your card so you can feel momentarily special. Her reply? "I don't want to spend sixty dollars on a card. I'm spending hundreds of dollars here. You should just give me a card!"
A very patient sales person explained it doesn't work like that. He pointed to the rest of us with our carts bulging with cat food, paper towels, laundry detergent, Kirkland® Signature Organic 100% Juice Box Variety Pacs, beef jerky, snow tires and the obligatory rotisserie chickens and he said, "Everyone spends hundreds of dollars here and they all buy cards!" I held up mine as proof of what he said.
The lady was not budging from her position and it looked like the conversation would last longer than the metric ton of Ritz Crackers in my cart which I had opened and started eating, lest I starve while this brouhaha ensued. Fortunately, Costco employees are sharp and another one of them saw what was happening. She quickly opened the adjoining checkout counter so I and the rest of the line could take a detour around Ms. "Why should I have to buy a card?"
When I departed with my swag, I could still hear the woman protesting having to spring for a Costco membership in order to receive membership privileges at Costco. The unfairness of it all. I can be stubborn at times but I do usually recognize that there is something in this world called An Argument You're Not Going To Win. This is especially true when you're fighting with someone who hasn't the power to do what you think should be done. It's like demanding that your mailman do something to get your Uncle Morris on the new Forever Stamps.
Being able to spot systematically unwinnable arguments can save a lot of time and stress in your life. It's a good thing to remember, especially if you come upon someone who thinks the precise opposite of whatever it is you think about Donald Trump. As far as I know, that woman is still standing there at Checkout Counter 4 at that Costco, trying to get a guy with no power to change the rules of the corporation to see things her way. When I run out of 13.5 lb. sacks of Arm & Hammer Pure Baking Soda and have to go back there for twenty more, I will not be surprised to see her there.