Phone-y Support

Like most of you I'm sure, I call some company about something and then I'm asked to rate the quality of that service. Sometimes, I'm asked to stay on the line and take a brief survey. Sometimes, a computer voice asks if they can call me back to take that brief survey. And sometimes they don't ask if they can call. They just call.

A few days ago, I called my cable provider (Spectrum) with a tech problem. The gent I reached on the phone was friendly and reasonably well-informed. If I was running a company, I'd want all my employees to be like that guy…but he didn't solve my problem. He tried but finally concluded that it out of his area of expertise or maybe his jurisdiction so he's arranged for a senior member of Tech Support to phone me. Okay, fine. You can't always call a company and get the most knowledgeable person who works there.

Then came the survey and I only got as far as Question One: "Were you satisfied that the representative was knowledgeable and able to solve your problem? Press 1 for Yes and 2 for No."

I hung up because I didn't know how to answer it. "Yes, he knew enough to pass me on to someone else?" Or "No, I still have my problem" Mostly, I didn't want to give a negative rating about the nice guy on the phone who spent a fair amount of time trying to help me.

That's how I feel about most of those surveys. They're asking me to evaluate the employee and maybe get them in trouble…but they never seem to want my opinion about the company. If I have a problem with phone support, that's usually where it is. I'd like to see them ask questions like…

  • "Did you feel your call was answered promptly? Press 1 for Yes and 2 for No, I was on hold for what seemed like hours listening to bad music and the same annoying ads over and over and it's especially annoying to wait that long and keep hearing that my call is very important to you."
  • "Before calling, did you try to use our online help? Press 1 for Yes and 2 for Of course, you idiot! I wouldn't have spent all that time on hold if your online help was of any help whatsoever!"
  • "If you were unhappy with our employee, did you also feel that he or she was in some other country far from our company and that all we cared about was finding the cheapest possible people who could answer a phone and read a little list of pre-scripted answers, none of which applied to your problem? Press 1 for Yes and 2 for I'm not sure because I don't understand English any better than your phone bank."
  • "Is the core of your problem that the advertising for our product was misleading and so you were led to believe it did something that it doesn't do? Press 1 for Yes and 2 for No, I'm too embarrassed to admit that."
  • "Or is the problem that we just make a shoddy product and you're really foolish enough to think that there's some way you're going to get a refund? Press 1 for Yes and 2 for No, I know I'm outta luck that way and I'm just calling to take a little of my frustration out on anyone who works for you even though I know that person isn't the one who took my money."

And of course, there's no follow-up.  It's been three days and the senior member of Tech Support has yet to call…so that's my complaint with that call.  But they aren't calling to gauge my satisfaction now.