I keep getting calls and e-mails asking me about the revelations in the continuing drama surrounding Stan Lee, who probably never imagined that things would be so dramatic when he was 95. I've been reticent to write much about it for two reasons, one being that I'm not in touch with Stan at the moment. I'm in touch with a few folks who are and they tell me things are under control. Other reports say things are not, including some heartbreaking stories about Stan being unable to sign his name at a recent convention appearance without someone spelling it out for him.
One thing I can offer that may help a wee bit: I seem to have to keep reminding friends who are dealing with elderly people that getting old often means Good Days and Bad Days. Their health Monday may be very different from their well-being on Tuesday and neither may be indicative of the average. That would seem to be the case with Stan…Good Days and Bad Days.
My distance from it is one reason I don't want to get too involved. Another is that, at least from afar, it seems to me that there are already too many people involved and that reporting on rumors and on circumstances that change from day to day doesn't help. It probably just makes things worse.
A friend who's a psychologist and I were once discussing why Show Biz Marriages that end — marriages where one or both partners are famous — seem to always end in such anger and recrimination. He pointed out to me that, first of all, a lot of non-Show Biz Marriages end in similar pains and screaming. You just don't hear about those break-ups because you've never heard of and don't care about the combatants. Good point.
But he also said that once the break-up battles are being fought in the press, everyone thinks they're being defamed in front of the whole world and it's emotions times ten. It becomes ten times as difficult to pull it back and find common ground. People can't "unsay" things they said about each other in the media, especially in these days of Google Search and cached webpages.
It's probably too late for the Stan Lee matter to be moved out of the Glass House. I tell myself that as I hesitantly link to, and therefore send more eyes to this article by Gary Baum in the Hollywood Reporter as well as this article by Ben Widdicombe in the New York Times. They don't just tell two different stories. They tell about eight. I'm assuming the truth may be in there somewhere but maybe not.
What I would take away from the two of them is that We Don't Know. Since it's None of Our Business, it doesn't bother me that We Don't Know but we don't and it won't make things any better if we pretend we do.