You'd think that if we all learned nothing else from the Internet, we'd get that there's a pretty wide range of opinions out there about…well, anything. No matter what book, movie, TV show, play, pizza or other work of art out there you thought was stupendous, there's someone out there who thinks it was incontrovertible dreck…and usually, there are several someones who feel that way. That matters because if you can point to even one other person who shares your opinion on something, you can argue that most of the other people on the planet do, too.
I'm getting so tired of people who want to argue that their opinions are inarguable. They might just as well come right out and say, "You're not entitled to your opinion because it doesn't match mine." I used to make the mistake of questioning such folks just because they insisted their positions were unquestionable. I slip now and then but for the most part, my attitude now is that I'm fine with someone liking something I don't like. Often, I'd like to hear more about what they liked about it because I'm curious about what, if anything, I'm missing.
What I'm really getting tired of are comments of the "it's crap" variety. I keep remembering a conversation I had once with a writer friend about a new comic book. I didn't particularly care for it but this guy was angry that it had been published and very, very bothered that I didn't share his outrage. The discussion went something like this…
HIM: But it's crap. Pure, unadulterated crap.
ME: What didn't you like about it?
HIM: I didn't like that it was crap. I don't like crap. You don't like crap, do you?
ME: Not as a rule but it doesn't usually affect me. I have developed this odd ability to not read it from now on. Why are you so upset about this one book?
HIM: Because I read it and believe me, I know crap when I see it. I think I was three pages into it when my Crap Alarm went off and I said to myself, "Hey, I think this could be crap" and four or five pages later, I knew. Yep, crap. You read it! Didn't you see it was crap from the start?
ME: I wasn't wild about it but you're still not telling me what it was about the work that you didn't like…
HIM: I didn't like that it was crap. I hate crap. Look, if a dog takes a shit on your lawn, you don't need to get a forensic scientist out to analyze the specimen. You know it's shit. Well, the same way, I know if something's crap.
And it went on from there but didn't get any deeper. He wouldn't or maybe couldn't say why he didn't like it. If I had to guess, I'd guess it was because it was fairly successful and he hadn't written it. But in truth, he doesn't need an intelligible reason to not like something. "I don't like the taste of it" is a perfectly valid reason for not eating tofu. He just needs a reason for not liking a creative work if he wants to discuss it with me because more and more, I'm absenting myself from that kind of exchange.
As I get older — I hit double-sixes tomorrow — I'm getting increasingly less tolerant of gratuitous negativity — especially of the overemotional variety, especially about things that don't really matter. Last week, a friend called in sky-high dudgeon to tell me how much he hates the way another friend of ours has been flooding Facebook with self-promotion. If I listed all the wrongs of the world, that would not make my top billion.
If you want to talk to me about something important — something that genuinely impacts lives (especially mine) or something we can and should do something about — fine. If it's anything we both care about, let's discuss it. But it isn't necessary to have an opinion about absolutely everything in the world and it sure isn't necessary to tell me every one of those opinions, especially the angry, negative ones. You have every right to have those views and to express them but I have every right to not listen to you.
A discussion is one thing. I love discussing things, exchanging insights and perspectives on most topics, especially when there isn't a discusser involved who has his or her ego all wrapped up in "winning" in some awkwardly-defined way. I'm just getting increasingly weary of rants, especially hysterical rants where the emotion is way out of proportion to the alleged crime. I'll listen if something constructive might come out of it and, hey, I'll probably listen if it's funny. If it's neither of those things, please do it where I can avoid it. Thanks.