Burger Blasphemy

Farley Elliott, who covers the Los Angeles restaurant scene and once interviewed me, argues with a recent survey that showed people preferring the Five Guys burger chain to In-N-Out. Naturally, since I have the same preference, I think the survey is inarguably correct. All polls and surveys are correct when they agree with you and they're deeply flawed and biased when they don't. That's Trump's Law.

In fact, I'll go farther with this: I used to be an In-N-Out fan, as I think long-ago posts on this blog will confirm. My last few visits to an In-N-Out left me deciding those would be my last few visits to an In-N-Out. I'm not sure if they've done something to their burgers or if my tastes have somehow evolved but I thought the burgers were pretty unimpressive.

One caveat: I take mine without most of the usual toppings. I'm allergic to some and don't like others. I suppose one could argue that an In-N-Out burger is not an In-N-Out burger unless it's dressed the way they usually serve them. Faced with that position, I might then argue back that any burger from anywhere can be made better or worse based on your topping selections and that the true test is of just the beef patty and bun. In that contest, not only does Five Guys beat In-N-Out handily but so do most chains.

I recognize this is heresy coming as it does from a native Californian. Not loving In-N-Out here is like not loving Vin Scully and, yes, you can be deported for it. But in this world, we have to stand up for what we believe and I believe that Five Guys makes better burgers than In-N-Out…and don't get me started on their fries.