Here's another one of those posts where Mark has mixed feelings and can't quite decide how he feels about something…
There's a new podcast series called Missing Richard Simmons. On it, a self-appointed investigator tries to get to the bottom of why the famed exercise guru dropped out of public life not long ago. Is Richard, as rumors have it, being held hostage in his home by a crazed housekeeper?
I listened to the first few installments and I felt a little dirty…like someone was nosing into something that was none of their damned business and I was no better because I was peeking over their shoulder. And I felt a little dirtier when I read this article that seems to say, "Move along, people…nothing to see here!"
If that's so — if all that's happened is that Mr. Simmons wants some time out of the spotlight — then why not let him have it? Why traipse about, interviewing all his acquaintances about him and why ginning up a tabloid-style story about him? Maybe he has the kind of problem that is best treated by being left alone for a while.
I've known famous people who were not entirely comfy with the idea of being famous…of having to "perform" to a certain extent wherever they go, wherever they're recognized. Or maybe they have some deep fear or insecurity about how much they deserve their fame or fortune. Or maybe they just need some "alone" time or privacy to figure out who they are or where they're going. Or maybe, or maybe…
Police investigators have visited Simmons and decided he's not being held prisoner. Why doesn't that settle the matter? Why does he owe us or anyone some explanation for why he doesn't want to be seen on television — or anywhere — right now?
He doesn't but that's not the part about which I have mixed feelings. I just don't know how I feel about Richard Simmons.
I've never actually met the guy but back around 1981, when his daytime talk/exercise show was very popular, its offices were right down the hall from where I was working. I saw Richard almost every day. I heard Richard almost every minute he was in the building. You probably did too, even if your offices were in New Zealand. He was on the loud side.
He was usually running around in his uniform — the little shorts and tank-top that seemed to scream out, "Notice me, notice me!"
He thought nothing of stopping total strangers in the parking lot and telling them they were too fat and would die soon if they didn't do something about it, like buy his exercise tapes or his Deal-a-Meal food management program.
He would also criticize strangers' clothing which, given his own outfit, was like having…well, I can't decide on an analogy here. Bob Dylan telling you to stop mumbling? Larry Flynt telling you to treat women better? Jerry Lewis telling you to keep your ego in check? Pick out one of these or make up your own.
And was there anything the man wouldn't do to get on television, including going on talk shows where the host abused him and treated him like a clown? I used to cringe when I saw him on with Letterman. I had to turn off the radio once when he was on with Howard Stern. Maybe Simmons didn't mind it but it made me real uncomfortable, especially after some gay friends told me how much it bothered them.
I said to one of them once, "You know, this is a guy who has really helped a tremendous amount of people lose a tremendous amount of weight. He's saved a lot of lives." This gay friend replied, "Yeah…and convinced a lot of America that that's how gay people act."
I don't spend a lot of time thinking about Richard Simmons but when I do, I don't know for sure what to think, other than I'm sure I'm glad I no longer have an office down the hall from him. He's a hero to many — deservedly so. He's a joke to many others and maybe even to some of the same people. Whatever he's going through, I think people should just leave him alone and let him go through it. And I sure don't mind not seeing him on television.