My first iPhone was the 3 and then in October of 2013, I got me a 5S. At that time, I thought, "Well, I'll just upgrade to the odd-numbered ones" — but when the 7 came out, it didn't seem like that much of an improvement. There was a buzz out there — and I have no idea if it's still true or if it ever was — that the iPhone 8 will be a hell of an upgrade, one we'll all want. So I've been sticking with the 5S which serves me well.
The other day, it took a nasty spill onto a concrete floor and while the phone wasn't harmed, the case cracked. It was a very nice metal case I had it in and I decided to get another case just like it. Online, I couldn't find the same model and I couldn't tell if most of the others that fit the 5 were plastic or metal or what…so I decided this was something I had to buy in person. I also needed a long walk because I've been sitting a lot the last week and I don't want to have to do an upgrade on my new knee.
Last evening, I walked over to a shopping center near me which contains an Apple Store and also has a lot of vendors who sell iPhone cases and accessories. I hit the vendors first and it was like I was trying to find the new Dr. Strange movie on a Betamax cassette. The general reaction I got was along the lines of "A five? You still have a five?"
One seller said, "Gee, I think I still have some cases for fives here somewhere." After a bit of rummaging, he came up with about ten choices, all of them cheap plastic — and the kind where the phone pops in easily so you know it'll pop out just as easily when you don't want it to. One of them looked at my phone, handling it like a priceless edition of Shakespeare's first folios or some other rare antique.
But not a rare antique they could understand anyone having. I used to own a 1957 Thunderbird and while it was difficult to find parts for it, people understood that I thought it was worth the effort. They didn't say, "Why don't you toss that thing in the trash can and get a new model?" That was more or less the reaction I got to my iPhone 5S even though it works better than the T-Bird ever did.
After striking out with three sellers — and well aware I was wasting my time — I went to the Apple Store and asked the greeter if they had cases for a 5S. I'm not sure I can describe his response other than to ask you to imagine someone morphing before my eyes from a normal human being into Marty Feldman and then into a Walter Keane painting and then finally to a kindly priest offering to perform the Last Rites. "No, no," he said, shaking his head, obviously waiting until I departed so he could run and tell his fellow employees, "You'll never believe what some guy just asked me!"
Feeling very outta sync with the world, I finally stumbled home, intensified my searching on the 'net and finally found one of the same case I've always had but in a different color. It's supposed to be here Wednesday. I figure that on Thursday, Apple will announce the iPhone 8 and its new features will include a camera that makes you look gorgeous in your selfies, an app that somehow causes restaurants to not charge you for food and a new kind of G.P.S. that can locate a bathroom any time you desperately need one.
And I'll have to get one and be disappointed that it won't fit into the case for a 5S.