Monthly Archives: August 2016

Bette Midler and three more women performing "Up the Ladder to the Roof."

I know some of you think I'm writing too much about the election and about Trump but my blog is about whatever's on my mind and what's there now is the Electoral College.

Right now, every major pollster has Hillary Clinton with what would seem to be an insurmountable lead in the following states: New York, California, Vermont, Illinois, Massachusetts, Maryland, Washington, Hawaii, Virginia, Rhode Island, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Oregon, Maine, Delaware, Colorado, Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania and Connecticut, plus the District of Columbia. In most, she's up around ten points.

Those states total 258 electoral votes…so she's twelve shy of the 270 it takes to win.

Now, you hear a lot about Ohio (18 electoral votes) and Florida (29) and even North Carolina (15) and how Trump needs those states to have even a chance of winning. He does…but the point is that Hillary doesn't. She can get the twelve votes by winning Minnesota (10) and any one other state or just by winning Georgia (16). She can get it by winning Iowa (6) and Nevada (6). She can get it by winning Arizona (11) and any one other state. There are many routes.

At the moment, she's either ahead or neck-and-neck in all of these plus a few others. She probably already has Minnesota but there haven't been many polls there so you can't really award her the state…yet. The latest Monmouth Poll — that's one of the better pollsters — has her up nine in Florida…so there's more than double your twelve votes right there.

Trump is solid in seventeen states that will give him 139 so he's 131 short of the 270. There are thirteen "toss-up" states where neither is far enough ahead to claim a near-lock and those have 141 electoral votes. So Trump would need to win almost all of them or maybe flip a few states where Hillary has a solid lead.

As Nate Silver notes, Trump seems to be about to ratchet up the nastiness and accusations. That's the approach that got him where he is today — on the verge of being on the wrong end of a landslide. Still, my thinking is that Trump has no other choice.

If he suddenly starts acting statesmanlike and polite, it's not going to change the minds of anyone who already decided he was unfit. They remember…and in case they forget, there's loads of video around for the Hillary people to replay. Undecideds won't believe there's a new Trump…and of course, there's the very real question of whether he is actually capable of performing any other act. All he'd do probably is disappoint his base and cause less of them to turn out on Election Day.

Seems to me Trump's only hope is to sell hard the "Crooked Hillary" theme and hope something emerges that has a lot more substance than any of the allegations hurled so far. Even then, I think a lot of people would opt for Crooked Hillary over Crazy Donald.

Is a big Broadway show (or Broadway-like show) coming to your town? Here's a list of touring companies across America and where they're touring.

People often write to ask me what comics I read. I tend to follow creators, not characters, and one of my favorite creators is cartoonist Carol Lay. Carol was responsible for years for the wonderful syndicated feature, Story Minute. Her approach and style are all hers and they're always entertaining. If you have a Kindle or a device that can function like one, you now have the chance to build a mini-library of Carol's comics.

There are eight available. This link will take you to a page where you can order one and easily find your way to pages where you can get the other seven. Order one, enjoy it and then go back to get the rest. You'll want them all.

Here are three more women who are all the same person performing "Up the Ladder to the Roof"…

Early in Donald Trump's current candidacy, the charge was made that he was too inexperienced and uneducated to be President of the United States. Trump's response to that was that he would hire the best people to help him run the country…and a lot of voters bought that. I think one of the reasons he's in trouble now is that it's become pretty obvious that he doesn't know how to hire the best people to run his campaign.

As Ezra Klein notes, Trump really does keep hiring the wrong people. They keep sending this woman Katrina Pierson out to speak for the campaign and to either reverse what Trump said or deny he said it or to even deny the meanings of words. I could do a better job on his behalf and I want to see him lose by the widest-possible margin.

Larry Wilmore is interviewed about the cancellation of The Nightly Show. Wilmore has so many projects cooking that this hardly puts him out of business and I'm sure he and most of the regulars will go on to bigger and better things. I'll just miss that program.

• Roger Ailes joins Trump's campaign team; promises Trump, "I'll fire any woman who doesn't vote for you!"

I was sworn to secrecy on this but since it's now being offered on Amazon, I guess I can tell you about a forthcoming Blu Ray edition of the first five Marx Brothers movies — The Cocoanuts, Animal Crackers, Monkey Business, Horse Feathers and Duck Soup. These are fully-restored from in many cases, previously untapped prints to bring you the best images and sound ever, as well as the restoration of a few bits here and there you probably haven't seen before. (The print of Horse Feathers is still missing footage that is known to have been in it at one time. But what's there looks better than it ever did before on home video.)

Perhaps like me, you bought these movies on Beta and then you bought them on VHS and you bought them on Laserdisc and then you bought them on DVD and then you bought a couple different "new, improved" versions on DVD. Each time, you foolishly thought you had the best versions you could ever have and you'd never have to buy them again. Well, guess what.

Here's a link to advance-order what will undoubtedly, unquestionably be the absolute last time you'll have to buy home video versions of these five great movies. Until the next version.

[UPDATE: When I first posted this item, I credited the wrong person as its producer. Actually, I don't know who produced it but my apologies to him or her, and to the person I wrongly credited. The error was wholly mine.]

Yesterday, we wished a Happy Rose Marie Day to a lady I loved on television, then got to know and admire in person. Today, we continue the trend and note that it's the birthday of that great symbol of glamour, beauty and star power, Julie Newmar.

The two women have many things in common but a biggie is longevity. Julie captivated audiences in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers in 1954 and she was not new to movies then. Her looks and grace obviously had a lot to do with early stardom but they don't explain her long, long career. Lots of women in Hollywood and on Broadway have looks and grace. Almost none are active for so long and loved even longer.

There is something about her that has kept her famous for several more decades than most. One I can tell you that isn't so obvious is that she's smart, very smart. She has managed her career and also her investments well. But I don't think that completely explains it and just as being a good actress doesn't explain the rest of it.

I do have an explanation, though. The following is an edited version of a column I wrote in early 1998 for the Comics Buyers Guide…

Last Sunday night (3/29/98) in New York, City Center's "Encores!" series presented a "concert" version of Li'l Abner — six performances only — and guess who was in seat B-105.

(I thought they were lousy seats until I noticed that my pals Jim Salicrup and Don McGregor were sitting a few rows behind us. Then ours didn't seem quite as bad. My date, by the way, was the scintillating Carolyn Kelly, whose late father gave us one of the other all-time great comic strips with political overtones, Pogo. I don't think Walt Kelly was quite as attractive as his offspring, but the wit and drawing talents do seem to be hereditary.)

Concert versions of musicals are becoming increasingly popular. Mounting a full-scale Broadway-style musical can run into the millions so, in New York and L.A., and often in-between, there are outfits that put on limited runs of classic shows with no scenery and but a modicum of costuming. (For Abner, most were in tuxedoes but, to get the rustic flavor, some added hillbilly hats, some omitted shoes.) The actors often carry their scripts, yet the whole experience, if done well, is surprisingly effective.

Limiting the run makes it possible to assemble a cast that could never be assembled or afforded for a multi-year commitment. It also means that the audience is usually packed with folks who already love the show in question, which was definitely the case for Li'l Abner.

In the lead role…well, I have an "I-told-you-so" here: In this very column, in the edition dated December 23, 1994, I wrote a review of the Broadway version of Disney's Beauty and the Beast and I said, in print: "…the standout performance is Burke Moses as Gaston. Whenever the inevitable revival is mounted of Li'l Abner, its producers would be dumbbells not to conscript Mr. Moses to play the title hillbilly."

Someone had the same notion: Last Sunday, I saw Burke Moses play the title hillbilly in Li'l Abner and he was, as expected, superb. So was David Ogden Stiers as General Bullmoose. So was Alice Ripley as Daisy Mae. So was comedienne Lea DeLaria in a brilliant bit of cross-gender casting as Marryin' Sam. So was everyone. But the real coup — the thing that tore the roof off the dump — was the casting of Stupefyin' Jones.

Before I tell you who they got, let me remind you that this was the character whose looks stunned men into a stock-still stupor, played originally by the lovely, leggy Julie Newmar. She had not one word of dialogue but she darn near stole both play and film. One cinema society named it the sexiest appearance ever in a motion picture that cost more than 25 cents to view.

So you figure, for this special production, they've got to get someone real special…someone altogether amazing, right? You can't just cast a good-looking dancer in that role. You need a goddess…a vision of beauty that really could stop a hetero male dead in his Nikes.

They got Julie Newmar.

No one could believe it beforehand. Her name was there in the program book but we just plain didn't believe it. It was like hearing that Ted Williams was in the starting line-up again. Then, round about scene 5, she made her entrance, rising up on an elevator from under the stage. She was wearing a flesh-colored body stocking and the audience was…well, stupefied.

I do not know how old Ms. Newmar is but during intermission, every single person in that theater tried to do the math. ("Let's see…she was in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers in 1954 and she had to be at least 16 then…") And, yes, I know it's not polite to discuss a lady's age but, geez, if she was 40, she'd have cause to be proud. That she's probably more than half again as old makes you wonder if maybe Ponce DeLeon didn't find that fountain and pass out gallon containers on the set of the Batman TV show.

The audience went absolutely, full-goose-bozo crazy. I've never seen anyone get applause like that, just for standing in one place. The other leads all got huge ovations — richly deserved — but they all acted and sang and danced their heinies off. Julie Newmar just stood there. And she did it so well.

Everyone did their jobs well. A few seasons back, a concert version of Chicago at City Center was so well-received that it spun off to a regular engagement and is still selling out. The tale of the Yokum family may well follow. If it does, buy a ticket and get in line behind me…'cause I'm going again and again. Especially if they can hire Julie Newmar to just stand there.

Looking back at what I wrote then, I don't think I made it clear how Julie didn't just stand there. She gyrated and posed and reacted and really turned her wordless role into a star turn. You couldn't take your eyes off her and I believe there were moments when the director consciously got her offstage so she wouldn't pull focus from the actors carrying the plot.

I also don't know why, having mentioned the musical Chicago — which is still running back there, more than eighteen years later — I didn't mention that the night after we saw Li'l Abner's last performance there, Carolyn and I went to see Chicago. And sitting right behind us, taking in the performance alone, was Julie Newmar! We talked with her and offered to walk her back to where she was staying.

It was the third or fourth time I'd met her and now that I've had a lot more, I'm very sure that the secret to her longevity is a combo of looks, brains, talent (a quality that doesn't always flow from looks or brains) and that basic, undefinable star quality. Some people got it but most don't and she's one of those people who's got it. You get the feeling I sorta like her? And it ain't just the looks or the brains or the talent or the stardom. I like her because she reads this blog.

I hope you do today, Julie. Happy birthday.

There are lots of politicians I once respected, at least a little, but who have disappointed me with their abandonment of past principles in their search for power…or just continued relevance. John McCain did long ago. Chris Christie and Mike Huckabee once struck me as Republicans for whom I might have voted, mostly because they sounded kinda reasonable with the way they viewed opposing views.

Oddly enough, the two Presidents Bush have gone a little in the opposite direction. I still think George W. was the worst president of my lifetime — and possibly anyone's — but both have joined the Jimmy Carter Club of being easier to respect after being out of office. Not running for anything is good for some people.

Still, no one has disappointed me more than Rudy Giuliani. Jelani Cobb summarizes most of the reasons. Giuliani's gone Full Trump on us…and I don't even get that the people he's pandering to have the slightest affection or respect for the guy.

Two women and one man performing "Up the Ladder to the Roof"…

Word is out that Showtime has either signed Stephen Colbert or is about to sign Stephen Colbert to do live election night coverage for them.  Showtime is a wholly-owned subsidiary of CBS Entertainment so that makes a little sense.  I'll certainly be watching and —

Oh, hell. I don't subscribe to Showtime in my cable package. Well, I may have to. Will Time-Warner sell me a day pass?

It has also been announced that Colbert will do live shows the nights of the presidential debates. I'm assuming that's if they even happen. I'm also assuming those would be the kind of "live shows" he did during the political conventions when a lot of what was broadcast was pre-taped, including some guest segments because they couldn't get good guests to show up that late at the Ed Sullivan Theater.

This is one of the obstacles to live talk shows. About five years before he left television, it was announced that Johnny Carson would begin doing The Tonight Show live. I was told by someone on the inside — oh, hell, it was Fred DeCordova — that this was someone's idea (not his) about how to add a little more excitement to a program that then was on a slow downward slide in the ratings.

Fred told me that when they started trying to book those shows, they discovered that many of the best guests couldn't — or wouldn't — be there at that hour. In this case, since The Tonight Show was then done on the west coast, this would have meant guests being there from roughly 7:00 PM to 9:30 or a bit later for an 8:35 PM show. When you do a live 11:35 show on the East Coast like Colbert sometimes does, they want you there about 10 PM…maybe a bit earlier if you're going to be involved in a sketch or something besides just the interview. Obviously, real superstars can show up a bit closer to air time and leave before the show's over.

The Carson people decided that what they would gain in energy by doing their show live would be more than canceled out by losing some big guests so they quietly abandoned the plan. As I recall, Jimmy Kimmel Live! was called that because it was originally done live…which since the show aired at 12:05 AM then meant 9:05 PM out here. I dunno if it was because of the guest thing but they moved to taping it at 7 PM and later to late afternoons…but they kept the name.

Today is the birthday of the great entertainer and comedienne, Rose Marie. It's one of the great thrills of my life that I got to work with and know this lady…and not just because she was a vital part of maybe my favorite TV program, The Dick Van Dyke Show. That's impressive but everything else she's done in her amazing career is impressive as well.

Since she's my friend, I'm not going to tell you how old she is. You can find a couple of different answers on the Internet. Let's just say she was a star when she was too young to go to Kindergarten and she's been a star ever since in every medium and working with just about everyone who mattered in comedy for much of the Twentieth Century, matching the men joke for joke and often topping them. At a time when women on stages were supposed to look good and play dumb, Rosie always looked good and got the laugh by being smart and clever. You could count the number of ladies who managed that on one hand and still have a couple of fingers left uncounted.

• If Trump were to promise that if elected President, no one would ever again have to deal with Apria Healthcare, he would have my vote.