The Master Plan

This morning, President Obama said "I think the Republican nominee is unfit to serve as president." I figure we have about an hour before Trump fires back with both barrels and proves it.

Here's my theory: That there was a meeting recently — at the Democratic National Convention or somewhere else — to plan how to make sure Hillary wins. Someone gets up and says…

Okay, now we just have to keep Trump perpetually pissed-off and screaming. Mr. President, we want you to insult him on Tuesday. Say something about him being unfit for office. Senator Warren, you take Wednesday. Hit him about not releasing his taxes and say it must be because he's broke. Mr. Vice-President, I have you down for Thursday…

Biden pipes up and asks, "Can I make fun of his tiny hands?" And then the guy chairing the meeting says…

We'd rather you didn't. I have Bob Reich set for the Sunday talk shows. He's going to say, "My God, that man's hands are smaller than I am!" Maybe you could say something about Trump University or Trump Steaks. Then we still need someone on Friday to hit him on the sex angle. You know, he wants to bang his daughter or he has a tiny dick. Just anything that'll keep him screaming…