Like a lot of you — if my e-mail is any indication — I've been watching the Johnny Carson reruns on Antenna TV. I find most of the shows fascinating, if not in an entertainment sense then in a time capsule sense. At least once an episode, someone makes a reference to something then in the news that I've either completely forgotten or vividly recall.
There are also announcements of things that are interesting in a hindsight context. The other night on a show from the eighties, I heard Carl Reiner talk about an upcoming film he'd written and would be directing and was now casting…and it was a film that I'm pretty sure was never made. He also talked a bit about the next movie he planned to make with Steve Martin…and that one was made. It was Dead Man Don't Wear Plaid.
I enjoy these shows but I continually wonder what the audience is for them. Have you noticed a certain trend in the commercials? Here's what was sold during the 90-minute episode that aired last Saturday night. They're grouped by commercial breaks…
- Commercial for free samples of a new kind of catheter
- Commercial for free samples of O2Pur home oxygen kit
- Commercial for Varidesk
- Commercial for attorneys who seek to represent patients who took the drug Invokana
- Commercial for car insurance from A.A.R.P.
- Commercial for Life Alert ("I've fallen and I can't get up!")
- Commercial for Miracle Ear hearing device
- Commercial for attorneys who seek to represent patients who took the drug Taxotere
- Commercial for 4th of July Sale at Sit 'n Sleep mattress stores
- Commercial for local (Los Angeles) news show
- Commercial for San Diego Zoo
- Public Service Spot warning people not to take too much Acetaminophen
- Commercial for local (Los Angeles) film festival
- Commercial for attorneys who seek to represent people who were victims of nursing home abuse
- Commercial for Lipozene quick weight loss drug
- Commercial for attorneys who seek to represent women who used the Essure Birth Control device
- Commercial for the Atomic Beam military-grade flashlight
- Repeat of commercial for free samples of O2Pur home oxygen kit
- Commercial seeking donations to support St. Jude Children's Research Hospital
- Repeat of commercial for free samples of a new kind of catheter
- Repeat of commercial for car insurance from A.A.R.P.
- Commercial for the D.R. Power Mower
- Repeat of commercial for local (Los Angeles) news show
- Third repeat of commercial for free samples of O2Pur home oxygen kit
And then the first thing after the closing credits was a repeat of the commercial for attorneys who seek to represent patients who took the drug Taxotere.
The third break and part of the last one were obviously placed by the local channel, KTLA 5, which retransmits the Antenna TV feed so take that out of consideration. The other commercials were the ones Antenna TV was able to sell. The conclusion we can draw is —
Oh, wait. You may be wondering what a Varidesk is. A Varidesk is a special stand for your computer that raises and lowers it so you can choose to work standing up or sitting down. It's a great invention and I have one for one of my two office computers here. Everything else except the D.R. Power Mower (which may have been placed by KTLA), the auto insurance and the military-grade flashlight relate to illnesses — either trying to treat a medical condition or suing someone because of it.
So the conclusion I make is that people who watch Johnny Carson reruns are in poor health. A lot of them are probably elderly but Invokana is for diabetes at any age and Taxotere is for cancer and there are younger people who need catheters and home oxygen…and I don't think a lot of older people used the Essure Birth Control device. So it's mostly about being sick.