I missed noting an important day in my life yesterday. Ten years ago yesterday, I checked into a hospital and had the size of my stomach reduced via Gastric Bypass Surgery. I have done many foolish things in my life but this was not one of them. Since then, I have been thinner and healthier and I'd say I was happier but I've always been pretty happy so I'll just say I've been happier with myself.
I started to write a little essay reflecting on the operation, then paused to look up what I'd written here on the fifth anniversary and I'm not sure I can improve on this…
Five years ago today, I had Gastric Bypass Surgery. It was all part of my continuing effort to persuade my stomach to withdraw to its 1967 borders.
I have not written a lot about it here in the last few years because I thought it would bore those of you who aren't considering such a procedure and it might mislead any of you who are. I really and truly had an ideal experience with no real discomforts or complications, and I don't want anyone to take the plunge, thinking they'll have as easy a time of it as I did.
I'm still in touch with a lady who had it done at the same moment and she's had a helluva time, including three follow-up surgeries and a lot of hospitalization and physical problems. Still, she says she does not regret doing it since what she would have experienced without it would have been worse…and not just because that might have included death. Others who've had it done, I'm sure, may feel they would have lived longer and happier without it.
My weight still fluctuates within about a twenty pound range which doesn't seem to have a lot to do with what I eat. It probably has more to do with how often I get up from this here computer and go out for a long walk. At the moment, I'm inching downwards. I've lost about ten in the last month. I'll go up, I'll go down but the general trajectory has been very, very slowly down. That's a bit of a disappointment after the immediate results of the surgery. I lost the first 65 pounds in the first 65 days.
Almost immediately, I began to sleep less and better. I eat less…and find that many of the foods I used to eat are no longer as appealing. High on that list is anything with a lot of sugar in it. In January of '08, my sweet tooth inexplicably disappeared and I no longer had any interest in cookies, cake, ice cream or even fruit. I am told this is not usually or even often a side effect of G.B.S. and could even be unrelated. At the same time as the pleasure from sugar disappeared, my list of acceptable beverages dropped down to water and almost nothing else. I do have the occasional protein shake and even those can't have sugar in them. Never having cared for artificial sweeteners, I use a protein drink flavored with Stevia.
I could go on and on about the health benefits of what I had done but I won't because someone reading this might become convinced to try it based on my experience…and then they might not have my experience. I've learned enough about this process to know that many, perhaps most do not. I do suggest that if it sounds like something you need, you look into it. You'll need to weigh the costs and risks and benefits, all of which may be unique to you, and then decide.
It helps an awful lot to have a great personal physician — someone you really trust — and you should go to a really good surgeon, preferably someone your physician knows and recommends. Clearly, there are a lot of doctors and clinics out there doing this procedure who should not be doing it and I'd be especially wary of those who advertise lap bands like some new cell phone rate plan. Heck, I'd be wary of those who advertise at all. But the main thing is to do the research…and then have the surgery, if you have the surgery, because you decide and not because someone nudges you into it.
All of that is, of course, common sense. So is the simple premise that if you can lose the weight without surgery, you should.
I couldn't. My physician (who sadly, is no longer my physician because he's now on special assignment, doing amazing missions for your United States Government) guided me through several attempts, then concluded they would not work for me. He had a whole technical explanation that I will muck up if I attempt to replicate it here. It had to do with my blood sugar levels and a tendency for my body to retain amounts of water that equalled the capacity of Lake Michigan.
So five years ago at this moment, I was sitting in the waiting room over at Cedars-Sinai Hospital — or as most people call it, Cedar-Sinai. I was waiting for a 10 AM surgery that didn't happen until…well, they started jointly prepping me and the lady I mentioned above around 1 PM and we went under our respective knives in adjoining operating rooms around 2. Only they didn't use knives for the serious stuff, at least with me. It was laparoscopic surgery, which means they make tiny incisions which heal invisibly. When you sign the consent form, you give them permission to switch to the old-fashioned, cut-you-open path if the presiding surgeon suddenly decides it's necessary…so when a patient awakens after, the first thing most of them ask was, "Were they able to do it laparoscopically?"
That's apparently not what I asked. A nurse in the recovery room told me I asked, "Can we send out for pizza?" That sounds like me and I'm sure I meant it as a joke.
But this kind of surgery is not a joke. It's pretty darned serious, which is why I never want to encourage anyone to do more than look into it…and to not trust just anyone who's available or affordable. And like I said, if you can drop a hundred or more pounds without it, by all means go that route. I have only envy for those who can do it themselves.
Not much I can add to that except to say that I'm still very glad I did it and cannot think of a single thing about my health that worsened. Had I done it years earlier, I might not have needed my right knee replaced last year — another bit of surgery I have not regretted in the slightest. I will say though that I think both good experiences had a lot to do with connecting with real good doctors who were experts at what they did.
Which makes me think of one bit of advice I should include: The Internet is a great place to gather info but only if you know how to ignore info. There's a ton out there of the anecdotal variety and it may do more harm than good. If I'd hit certain websites — or listened to certain "friends" — I might have gone into those two surgeries with a lot of misinformation or needless worries. No matter what you're thinking of having done to yourself, there's someone out there with a story of how it killed their uncle.
Do not base your medical decisions on someone else's story of how it worked for them or didn't work for them. There are outliers in every category and of course, what helped me might not help you and vice-versa. I think one of the smarter things I did in both cases — the Gastric Bypass and the Knee Replacement — was not to tell everyone (or post about them here) before I did them. I consulted several doctors I trusted, matched up things they all told me, used a little of what I sure hope was common sense…and made my decisions.
On the 'net, you can find sites that will tell you Donald Trump was personally hand-picked by Almighty God to come and save the United States from the utter devastation wrought by the Gay Kenyan Obama. It doesn't make a lot of sense to get your medical information via the same browser.