Monthly Archives: April 2016

Here's a list of 13 once-popular cookies that are no longer made. The only one on there I recall liking was Pepperidge Farms' Nassau cookies. Back when I was writing on Welcome Back, Kotter, Gabe Kaplan had them by the case in his kitchen and when we did all-night rewrite sessions at his home, I ate an awful lot of 'em to generate stay-alert energy. When I left that show, I had to buy 'em on my own…and buy 'em, I did. I no longer eat cookies of any kind — even my favorite variety, which is still quite available. But I do miss those Nassaus even if I couldn't figure out what a cookie made with peanut butter and chocolate had to do with an island in the Bahamas.

These are outtakes from a Don Adams-Don Rickles special of the late sixties (or maybe early seventies) with Kaye Ballard. Mr. Adams was a big hit on talk shows of the day when he brought on material like this to show and he later tried a whole TV show based on the premise. That was Don Adams' Screen Test, which we told you about here. If that show had been as funny as these real bloopers, it would have been a hit.

Bill Scher on where Bernie Sanders went wrong. A friend of mine who is still pro-Sanders and refusing to admit he ain't gonna be the nominee takes issue with the claim that Sanders was promising a lot of things that just plain were not going to ever happen. "We need leaders who are not afraid to dream big and swing for the fences," she says. And she's absolutely right that if we limit ourselves to what seems easy or doable, we limit ourselves too much. A lot of great things have been accomplished that once seemed unattainable and impossible.

On the other hand, an utterly valid gripe about most politicians is that they promise things they should know they cannot possibly deliver. Most if not all of the Republican contenders have been vowing insane, unrealistic economic growth. Ted Cruz insists we will have at least 5% growth if we cut taxes (especially for the rich), scale back regulations on business and repeal Obamacare. And he probably figures we have to abolish Gay Marriage and close down Planned Parenthood, too. This country, of course, has never had 5% growth and I think Trump was at one point saying he could get us above 6% easily. How? Because he's Donald Trump, that's how.

I'm not saying Trump and Sanders have a lot in common. There are a number of articles around that attempt to argue that and the ones I've come across seem like awfully weak Lipton. But there is a fine line between dreaming big and setting unreachable goals. A lot of us loved where Sanders said he wanted to take this country but not all of us were convinced he really knew how to get us there.

The Marx Brothers' early movies are being restored…and lengthened. This is certainly good news. And am I the only Marx Brothers fan who thinks Horse Feathers is a funnier movie than Duck Soup? I mean, sure, Duck Soup is about war and politics so that makes it more relevant to the world and "important." But I laugh more at Horse Feathers and maybe at Monkey Business, too.

Megan Margulies is the granddaughter of the great comic book creator, Joe Simon.  She wrote a nice piece about Grandpa.

Here's some fancy, fancy dancing…

These days when I get the urge to put something up on this here blog, I often think I can do all of us (myself included) a favor by not making it about this Frankenstein's Monster of an election we're going to have in our lives until November. And then I have trouble thinking of anything else to write about.

I think it will be enormously unhealthy for this country if Donald Trump wins. I also think it will be unhealthy if he loses but does well enough in some states that future politicians think that emulating the guy is the key to winning certain elections in those states. And I also think it will be unhealthy, at least for me, to devote so much attention to this for the next 192 days.

So let's help each other on this. If you've read this blog for any length of time, you are probably aware of my Areas of Expertise. It's a short list and almost everything on it is pretty trivial and meaningless in The Game of Life. Still, I've set up this new e-mail address to solicit questions I can answer on this blog. Some rules…

1. Nothing about politics, especially current politics, especially politics involving people named Trump or Hillary.
2. Anything you ask via this e-mail address may be quoted by me on this blog. I will mention your name unless you specifically ask me not to.
3. There will be no private replies to these questions. I answer them on the blog or not at all.
4. And I'm not interested in getting into debates with anyone. Just ask me something you think might prompt me to write something you'd like to read here.

I will still write stuff here about the election because we all have to live with it for many moons. But every time I don't want to, I'll dive into that e-mail folder and fish out something to get all our minds off what everyone is or will be calling The Most Important Election of Your Lifetime. They all seem to be that these days, don't they? Thank you.

Kevin Drum has an interesting explanation of why he never got very enthusiastic about Bernie Sanders. Basically, he says it's because he thinks Bernie's "revolution" was a promise of that which could never be achieved and that a lot of his backers will wind up disillusioned by the entire political process. I have a hard time agreeing with this but a harder time disagreeing with it.

Ross Douthat on why so many Republicans seem to think Donald Trump is highly electable. All that he says may be true but I think for some, it's simple: Trump looks to them like a winner. He may not be one but he acts like one…and look! He's winning! Never mind that he's winning over a pretty weak field of candidates. He's winning! Doesn't that prove he can win?

I'm sure you know that Donald Trump's "major" foreign policy speech the other day was an incoherent and inaccurate mess. Fred Kaplan lists some of the incoherences and inaccuracies.

Well, last night's Johnny Carson rerun on Antenna TV advertised "Comedian Dave Barry" as a guest but it wasn't the Dave Barry I was expecting. It was the funny author, not the funny stand-up. Sorry for the false alarm.

Former Speaker of the House John Boehner was asked about Ted Cruz. He described him as "Lucifer in the flesh" and said, "I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life." There's a ringing endorsement.

Donald Trump reminds me a lot of an agent I used to run into — a guy who kept badgering me to leave my agent (who I thought was doing a terrific job for me) to sign with him. He kept telling me that whatever job I had was not good enough for me and whatever they were paying me was "shit money" compared to what he'd get for me. It was his automatic response to everything…and it never struck me as connecting with reality. He had no idea how he was going to get Hanna-Barbera to pay me five times what they paid anyone else for comparable work but he would because he was so tough and such a skilled negotiator. I think one of the wiser things I've done in my life was never to entrust my career to this guy.

Matt Taibbi writes about a big missed opportunity for Bernie Sanders.

Things aren't going well for Bill Cosby. I get the feeling that the whole defense is going to come down to the question, "Do you really want to condemn this poor, sick old man to die in prison?" The answer from many will be yes.

Carl Reiner is being honored this weekend at the TCM Film Festival. Frankly, I think Carl Reiner should be honored every weekend and also on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and even Fridays. Here's a brief recent interview.

I will be back to you when the phone stops ringing and certain deadlines are met.

I almost never watch baseball. Once upon a time, I followed the Dodgers, largely because my father did…but other interests took over. Every now and then, I listen to a few innings, not so much of Dodger Baseball but of Vin Scully. You don't have to care about something to admire great skill and if Scully isn't the best sportscaster ever, I'd love to know who is. I'm going to miss him when he completes this, his final year at the mike.

Here he is doing what he does so well. It's 1974 and Atlanta Brave Henry Aaron is at the plate, about to break Babe Ruth's all-time home run record. Legend has it that the long pause you'll hear when Scully lets the action on-screen go unnarrated is because he decided to shut up and let the pictures do the talking…and he got up, went to the cooler and got a drink of water. How great is that?

I love an awful lot of what Bernie Sanders says…mainly the stuff about income disparity and the shameless and inequitable way in which Wall Street-style Tycoons have been allowed to get away with major crimes and to keep their unethical gains.

Something I don't like is the way he and his supporters have been complaining about how undemocratic the "Super Delegate" situation is — and I don't even disagree with them about that. My problem is that at the same time, Sanders and his boosters are very, very proud of how well he did in certain states which held caucuses instead of statewide primaries. The caucus system, as Ed Kilgore explains, is even less democratic than the appointment of Super Delegates.

Boy, I hope Bernie Sanders has it in him to say and do things that will bind the Democratic Party and unite his supporters behind Hillary Clinton. I remember '68 when Minnesota Senator Eugene McCarthy came from almost out of nowhere to challenge Lyndon Johnson for the nomination. McCarthy never did well enough to win but he did well enough to make a real difference and to influence the race. Sanders is doing better but —

Oh, before anyone writes me with the Yogi Berra quote: I'm sorry…I think it is over. Bernie would have to win around 64 percent of the remaining elected delegates in order to catch up to Hillary and in California, he's at best running even with her or ten points down, depending on which poll you believe.

Sanders is doing better than McCarthy but I'd hate to think he'd do the same thing McCarthy did, which was to withhold support from the nominee until when he did endorse, it was too little, too late.  Bernie's press release last night suggested he won't do that; that he'll fight on to the convention. Well, why shouldn't he? He still has a lot of money. But his language suggested he's now fighting to influence the platform and to shove Hillary a little more to the left. Which is fine with me.

(It would also be fine with me if Sanders pulled the Upset of the Century and bounced back to win. I just think that's about as likely as Ted Cruz winning Miss Congeniality. And hey, didn't you just love that brief "alliance" between Cruz and Kasich, when in a futile attempt to stop Trump, they stopped running ads calling each other lying assholes and made like buddies for about twenty minutes? Strange bedfellows, indeed.)

And my Tweet not withstanding, I would love to hear a reason for Carly Fiorina as his running mate other than "We'll pick up the female vote." You remember that worked so well for Walter Mondale and John McCain. A woman on the ticket is fine but she has to bring more to the campaign than mere gender.

• The Ted Cruz strategy to win California: "I'll pick a running mate! There must be someone who's even less popular in that state than me!"