Monthly Archives: March 2016

Lots of news stories today about how influential Republicans think that if Trump secures their presidential nomination, it means a Democratic landslide in November — not just the White House but the Senate and maybe Congress — and it could mean the end of the G.O.P. They're threatening to run a third-party candidate because…well, splitting the conservative vote is a dandy way to create a Democratic landslide in November — not just the White House but the Senate and maybe Congress — and it could mean the end of the G.O.P.

I still don't have a real preference between Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders for the White House, nor can I make up my mind as to which of the three Republicans still in the race would be (a) worse for this country as I want to see it go or (b) easiest for the Democratic nominee to defeat. I certainly don't think Kasich is really more moderate than Cruz or Trump — for reasons stated in this article.

Turning to happier news: Next Saturday afternoon at WonderCon, I'll be hosting a Cartoon Voices panel with Chuck McCann, Candi Milo, Maurice LaMarche, Townsend Coleman…and I'm pleased to say we just added the wonderful Amanda Troop to the dais. If you're going to be at the con on Saturday, come early so you can watch us play Quick Draw! at 10:30 AM in Room 403AB with Sergio Aragonés, Scott Shaw! and Kyle Baker. Then get back to that same room (or stay in it all day) to see the Cartoon Voices panel at 4:30.

The day Jerry Lewis turned 90, I posted here that — and I quote me again — "Apart from Doris Day, I can't think of anyone else who was a major motion picture star of the fifties who's still alive…and she hasn't appeared anywhere for decades. Jerry is still around, still appearing in front of audiences, still visible." A lot of you still seem to think that was a challenge to name anyone at all who was in a movie in the fifties and is still alive today. No, no. There are lots of such people. They just weren't MAJOR MOTION PICTURE STARS then and aren't STILL APPEARING IN FRONT OF AUDIENCES today. Forgive me for shouting.

Yes, yes. I am aware Abe Vigoda is deceased. So what? Just because he's now technically dead, he can't endorse Donald Trump?

Lastly for now: Arnold Schwarzenegger says he's going to make Terminator 6. Didn't we elect this man governor of California just to try and stop things like that? If he does Jingle All the Way 2, I'm going to feel really betrayed.

[UPDATE, three hours later: I am informed that someone went ahead and made Jingle All the Way 2 without Arnold. Instead, they starred Larry the Cable Guy, which makes sense since he so resembles Arnold. So now I guess I'll feel betrayed if Arnold makes Jingle All the Way 3…or even if he remakes Jingle All the Way 2. Or for that matter, does Kindergarten Cop 3 or runs for governor again.]

• Donald Trump receives the all-important Scott Baio endorsement. If he gets ALF and Abe Vigoda, he'll have this thing sewn-up.

The four leading contenders for the presidency have released tax proposals. This article runs down how much each of them would raise or cut taxes for people who are very, very wealthy. What it says should not surprise you.

I don't think I've linked to this yet. It's a 1975 interview with Mel Brooks done while he was in England promoting Young Frankenstein…

Matt Labash debriefs Mike Murphy, who ran a Super-PAC that was supposed to propel Jeb Bush into the White House. It's a funny article that would be funnier if the Weekly Standard allowed the appearance of the "f" word. But pay attention to what it says about all the money that some are making off this election. It explains a lot about why some of the things that happen happen.

Like a lot of you — including an amazing array of die-hard Republicans I know — I think Donald Trump would be a disaster as President of the United States. The problem would not just be what he'd do. It would also be the empowerment of that kind of politicking and of the aspect of Trump's candidacy that has the David Dukes of the world all excited. Which is not to say that everyone backing Trump is a racist. They aren't all…and believe it or not, I'm not convinced Trump really is. My impression is just that he's the kind of guy who'll say absolutely anything to win over supporters and at the moment, that's what seems to be doing it. (There was an interesting biography some years ago of one-time anti-segregationist and presidential candidate George Wallace. It said he really didn't believe any of the racist hatred he espoused. His sole interest was in attaining fame and power and that's what worked for him.)

I'm not sure if he'd be worse than Ted Cruz but Trump is a lot more interesting. On one perhaps-unhealthy level, I'm watching this whole unfolding drama as the first third-or-so of a movie that I can't stop watching. It's compelling in the same way that the current O.J. Simpson mini-series is compelling. I hate this story but I can't turn away.

The big difference, of course, is that we already know how the Simpson saga ends. Even as convinced as I am that Trump will never get his mitts on the presidency, I don't really know how the story plays out. It's just too unprecedented in too many ways. Will Trump get enough delegates that to deny him the nomination on the first ballot will mean rewriting the rules and giving him the chance to scream that he's being cheated? Will he have almost enough and the argument will be that because of that, he has to get the nomination? How serious are some in the party about stopping him and what kind of damage might they do to the party if they're really serious?

Who the heck would he name as his running mate? A guy who's running on the premise that he's not a career politician can't select a career politician…can he? Would he want to reinforce his outsider credentials that way or select someone with political experience to reassure anyone skeptical of a total insider? I really have no idea and I wonder if anyone does.

There's plenty of dirt to be flung Trump's way, some of it having to do with his marital and dating life, some about past Trump business ventures and the people who felt swindled. How much of that are Republicans willing to fling? And how much chance is there of a third-party candidate courting the votes of Republicans who don't like Trump? There are a lot of them. What might Trump do to ward off that possibility? Or if he feels he's been denied a nomination that was rightfully his, might he be a third-party candidate? (He's ruled it out and it doesn't seem likely…but he's done a lot of things he said he wouldn't do and a lot of things have happened that didn't seem likely.)

Will there be riots and if so, who'll be doing the rioting? Trump supporters or Trump opponents?

I guess what I'm getting is that with all that volatility out there, I sure have the feeling a lot of startling things are going to happen. A story that has had this many unexpected twists so far is not going to suddenly become predictable and stay that way until November. It just isn't.

Not long ago, Trump made his famous brag that his supporters love him so much, he could murder someone and not lose a vote. I don't think that's so. I have the feeling that one of these days, he's going to say or do something that will cause his popularity to take a big hit — not fatal but enough to make him think, "Hey, maybe I can't shoot someone…" And then we'll all wonder, "Why did that wound him when all those other excesses didn't?"

Yeah, I'm horrified at the prospect that this guy would get as close to the presidency as he is now. But I am kinda fascinated to see how this movie ends. I just know we've got a lot of surprises in store.

• Because of his sex tape, Hulk Hogan won $115 million in damages. What about those of us damaged by knowing there was a Hulk Hogan sex tape?

This afternoon, I had lunch as I often do on Fridays at the Magic Castle up in Hollywood. I've been a member since 1980 and have seen some of the world's great practitioners of magic perform there. One of the best was there today…Shawn Farquhar, whose artistry I linked you to back in this post. He didn't perform that trick but he had others, equally impressive. And as with so many superior magicians, part of the show was in the magic and part was in the personality and humor of the performer. What a great talent. We had a very nice conversation after his performance.

A few years back, Shawn appeared on Penn and Teller: Fool Us and what I've embedded below is the feat he did on that show to great acclaim. He performed that trick in his show today exactly the same way except that instead of Penn Jillette, he had me up there. As impressive as it is in the video, it's even more impressive when it's your hands holding the deck. Trust me…

A week from today, WonderCon kicks off at the L.A. Convention Center. I will be there and if you knew how much I dislike the L.A. Convention Center, you'd think, "Gee, if Evanier's going to go there, that must be a helluva convention." And if you go on my recommendation, do not blame me for the traffic outside, the parking or even for the way the convention center was designed.

But I always have a great time at a WonderCon so I'm going to brave my least favorite building in Southern California. Not only that but I will be presiding over a number of panels. You can find the complete programming schedule online but here are the events I'll be hosting. I am still adding participants to a few of them…

Friday, March 25 – 1:30 PM to 2:30 PM, Room 502A
THE SERGIO AND MARK SHOW
Spend an hour — or about as much time as it takes Sergio to draw an issue of Groo the Wanderer — with the folks who bring you that comic book, the award-winning team of Sergio Aragonés and Mark Evanier. They'll tell you all about Groo and other weird things they've done or are planning to do, plus you'll also get to meet the hardest-working man in comics, Tom Luth, who has to color it all.

Saturday, March 26 – 10:30 AM to 11:30 AM, Room 403AB
QUICK DRAW!
It's one of the most popular panels at Comic-Con each year but it was born years ago at WonderCon! Three cartoonists! Lots of paper and Sharpies and silly ideas! Watch the battle of wits and markers as amazing cartoons are created right before your eyes by Sergio Aragonés (MAD magazine, Groo the Wanderer), Scott Shaw! (The Simpsons, The Flintstones) and Kyle Baker (Why I Hate Saturn, The Bakers). Your moderator Mark Evanier throws the challenges at them, many suggested by the audience. So maybe you'd like to be part of that audience.

Saturday, March 26 – 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM, Room 403AB
CARTOON VOICES
Talk about super-powers! Here's a panel with heroes who can put voices into the mouths of your favorite animated characters. They'll tell you how they do it and there will be an unrehearsed reading to show how they do it! With Maurice LaMarche (Pinky and the Brain, Futurama), Candi Milo (Curious George, Jimmy Neutron), Townsend Coleman (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Tick), Chuck McCann (Duck Tales, The Fantastic Four) and others! Your host is Mark Evanier (The Garfield Show).

Sunday, March 27 – 11:30 AM to 12:30 PM, Room 502A
COVER STORY
Some of the greatest artistry in comics today can be found not in the books but on the outside. What goes into designing a memorable, magnificent cover? This topic is discussed with examples by folks who've done it: Russsell Dauterman (The Mighty Thor, Nightwing), Paolo Rivera (Daredevil, The Valiant), Bill Sienkiewicz (Stray Toasters, Elektra: Assassin) and Annie Wu (Black Canary, Hawkeye). Presiding over the discussion is Mark Evanier.

Sunday, March 27 – 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM, Room 502A
JACK KIRBY TRIBUTE
They call him the King of the Comics and his influence is unescapable around the industry and around this convention. 22 years after he left us, there's still so much to say about him and some of it will be said by Steve Sherman (former Kirby assistant), Charles Hatfield (Author of Hand of Fire: The Comics Art of Jack Kirby), Paul S. Levine (attorney for the Rosalind Kirby trust) and your moderator, Mark Evanier (former Kirby assistant, author of Kirby: King of Comics) and another special guest or two.

As always, things are subject to change at a moment's notice, including times, room numbers, panelists and Donald Trump's positions. When I am not doing these things, I will not be found at a table because I don't like sitting behind a table at a convention, at least a table where people expect to find me. So when my knee permits, I'll be roaming about and when it doesn't, I'll be sitting where no one expects me. Since I'm quite large, it's not hard to find me if you want to say hi.

How are balloons made? Here's how…

Jonathan Chait notes that the Senate Republicans who promised to never, never, never change their stance on not giving Obama's Supreme Court nominee a hearing or vote are now quietly changing it. The new stance seems to be that if Hillary wins in November, they will quickly confirm Merrick Garland rather than allow Madame President to nominate someone they'll like a lot less. So much for the firm conviction that the choice must be left up to the next president.

But it gets me to wondering: Let's say it's three weeks before Election Day, Hillary's ahead in the polls and Obama announces, "Well, they said I shouldn't nominate anyone if I was a lame duck…and I will be one once the next president is elected. So I'll be withdrawing Mr. Garland's nomination on November 8." What will they do then? I suppose it'll depend on what the odds are of a Democratic dominance in both the White House and the Senate.

I also want to say that I have no idea how good a Supreme Court Justice the man would be. But just for allowing the President to place his name in consideration in this situation, Merrick Garland is a brave, brave man. In fact, if I were a Republican, I'd probably smear him by saying, "Anyone who would accept that nomination and allow us to slander him and dig up every bit of dirt we can about him and distort his record like we will is not demonstrating that he has very good powers of judgment."

Back to work…

Another low-posting day, I'm afraid. But before I abandon the freedom of blogging for the hell of paying work, I have a few matters to cover…

Several of you wrote concerning my problem of not being able to run an old program, W.Bloggar, under Windows 10. Thanks but I know all about Compatibility Modes and that's not an answer to the problem. Wish it was. W.Bloggar won't run unless it recognizes Internet Explorer installed and it now doesn't recognize any version installed even though it is, as well as Microsoft Edge. And yes, I tried running it under Windows 98 compatibility and Windows 6 compatibility and all the others. I think this one's a lost cause.

Some of you took note of my joke about Louis C.K. maybe being the next Bill Cosby since they were both stand-ups who got their own shows. Apparently — and I was unaware of them — there have been some Cosby-like allegations about Mr. C.K. — and no, I won't link to them. You can Google away if you like. I have no idea if there's any truth there and I was not alluding to them.

Also, I said, in reference to Jerry Lewis: "Apart from Doris Day, I can't think of anyone else who was a major motion picture star of the fifties who's still alive…and she hasn't appeared anywhere for decades. Jerry is still around, still appearing in front of audiences, still visible." Some of you took that as a challenge to name others and suggested Kirk Douglas, Debbie Reynolds, Max von Sydow, Shirley MacLaine, Olivia de Haviland, Shirley Jones, Sophia Loren, Joanne Woodward, Pat Boone, Brigitte Bardot and Eva Marie Saint. I think some of my correspondents have a different definition of this term, "major star" and what it means to still be appearing a lot.

Just going over the Quigley's Top Ten Box-Office Champions for 1950-1959, I only find — of those suggested — Debbie Reynolds in one year and none of the others. Doris made the Top Ten three times that decade. Jerry, solo or with Dean, was on it nine times, including one first place finish and two second place spots. Kirk Douglas never made it, though I think he did enough popular films that I guess he comes close. The others weren't anywhere near as big as Jerry then and aren't as visible as him now. We see Sophia Loren and Olivia de Haviland about as often as we see Doris Day…or Halley's Comet. But hey, if you want to count them, fine. My point was just that Mr. Lewis has had an amazing longevity as a big star, not just that he was in a lot of movies.

In other news: Donald Trump demands that those who volunteer to work on his campaign sign a contract that they will never disparage him or his name, nor will they work for any other candidate. Yeah, that's real nice.

I won't be posting an obit here for Frank Sinatra Jr. since I never met the man. I did see him perform once in Vegas, singing and fronting a real good big band. He was very good and I couldn't help but think what a shame it was that despite his being real good, people would still walk out saying, "Not as good as his father."

I'll try to get back here later but no promises.

• Just to be dickish, Senate Republicans confirm every single American except Merrick Garland to U.S. Supreme Court. Take that, Obama!

Jerry Lewis turns 90 today. I have trouble explaining even to myself why I've ever been interested in this man. It may have a lot to do with the fact that we have so few "Comedy Legends" who survive so long. And Comedy Legend though he may be, I never found the guy particularly funny, even when I was at the age where you stand the best chance of finding Jerry Lewis funny. I guess I'm mainly impressed with his longevity and how he always seems to be involved in some controversy of his own making.

My few personal encounters with him were not very pleasant for very long. He always seemed volatile…like any second, he could suddenly morph from Professor Julius F. Kelp to Buddy Love or worse. And all it might take was some stray comment or maybe nothing at all. A few years ago at a Paley Center event, I watched him being interviewed by Leonard Maltin and it was a strange, surreal evening. Leonard asked very good questions without a trace of hostility or challenge. Jerry gave long, rambling answers that didn't remotely match up with the questions and he bounced back and forth between being philosophical in a professorial way and being on the defensive as if under some kind of implied attack.

The audience was full of celebrities who rose to tell Jerry and the world how much they loved him and worshiped him and thought he was the greatest comedian ever…and you'd think a man would be humbled and happy. But then one little imagined slight set him off and he began screaming at the folks who'd arranged the event, furious over essentially nothing. Lewis's emotional excesses were always kind of fascinating and funny on the telethons, especially at 3 AM when he'd shift into self-pity mode and start rambling on about how hurtful people could be towards his efforts. I think his tirade at the Paley event caused me to stop viewing his outbursts as amusing.

One thing you can't take away from the guy is his body of work. You probably don't like all of it, maybe even any of it but it's there. Another is his endurance. Apart from Doris Day, I can't think of anyone else who was a major motion picture star of the fifties who's still alive…and she hasn't appeared anywhere for decades. Jerry is still around, still appearing in front of audiences, still visible. Somewhere at this moment, he's probably telling someone that the musical version of The Nutty Professor is definitely going to open on Broadway later this year, just as it was definitely going to open there in 2015 and before that in 2014 and 2013 and 2012.

I'm not going to link to a Jerry Lewis clip today. Instead, we have a short video from Jeff Hoover, who does funny stuff on WGN TV in Chicago. Since the passing of Sammy Petrillo, I consider Mr. Hoover to be the best Jerry Lewis imitator in the business, not counting Marco Rubio's concession speech last night. Here's an example of his early work in this highly competitive field and and here he is doing a Clutch Cargo version of today's birthday boy. Ignore the commercial you may have to sit through…

This is from Kef Schecter…

Mr. Evanier, first let me say I'm a big fan of your work. Your anecdotes are among the most interesting and most amusing I have ever read, and I am among the many who have grown up watching Garfield and Friends. I have great respect for you and your opinions, even on those rare occasions I disagree with them.

And unfortunately I have to disagree with your opinion about the comparison that Louis C.K. and others are drawing between Trump and Hitler. While I also feel the comparison is a bit hyperbolic, you seem to be missing the point. The point isn't to compare Trump to a person who has killed millions of people. The point is to compare Trump to a person who hadn't killed millions of people yet. Hitler didn't do that until after he rose to power, after all. Saying one can't compare a man to Hitler until he's actually committed genocide is a good way to let the next Hitler get in office. Where you invoke Godwin's Law, I invoke George Santayana's: "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."

I'm not saying I fully agree with this mindset, only that you might not be giving it enough credit. Indeed, if Trump could muster the same amount of support in the government that Hitler had, I would absolutely be worried that things could turn out very, very badly. Thankfully, the government hates him. The GOP doesn't hate him more than they hate the Democrats, unfortunately, but they hate him enough to not really want to work with him. I think Trump is mostly toothless, but we must recognize that he's toothless only due to environmental factors — and, over time, his followers have the power to change them. Louis C.K. is telling us to be vigilant, and considering some of the people rallying behind Trump, I think that's pretty sane advice.

Let me leave you with a little thought experiment: suppose Hitler reincarnated. He doesn't have Hitler's name, looks, or voice, but he does have his type of brain. Now suppose this new Hitler gets into politics and he manages to get people to listen to him again. What would his rise to power look like? Could it look like Trump's?

I don't know. These days, Hitler's rise to power could look a lot like Oprah Winfrey's. Or Bill Gates's. Or Darth Vader's. Whoever it is, I don't think you can liken him or her to Hitler until he or she actually does something roughly equivalent to Hitler. The fact that someone might do that is kind of shaky evidence. Hey, Louis C.K. started as a stand-up comic and went on to have his own show. Maybe he's the next Bill Cosby.

What is someone saying when they liken anyone to Hitler? That he draws huge crowds? That he has a lot of people who think he's a great leader? That's sort of the goal when anyone runs for public office. They all try to whip up emotions and many prey on and inflame voters' fears. What cuts Trump away from the herd is his willingness to be so rude and nasty and thuggish in the process. That doesn't make him Hitler.

He also is really good at double talk and dodging questions and changing his position without acknowledging he's doing so and lying…and none of that makes him Hitler either.

Actually, the reason I think a lot of people equate Trump to Hitler is simply that that's the worst thing they can think of to say about him. It's like how people who loathe Obama say he's the Antichrist or he was a gay prostitute or that he gets up every morning and prays, even though he's an atheist, for the destruction of America. These are not analogies because they're not rooted in any real equivalence. They're just insults.

I'm really tired of Hitler comparisons…and you know the other one that bothers me? Neville Chamberlain. It's gotten so you can't make any kind of compromise on anything important without someone accusing you of being Neville Chamberlain. These days, every time a leader balks at going to war over anything, there's someone out there calling him Neville Chamberlain, the supreme appeaser. Of course, that only works if you see every enemy, big or small, as Hitler.

Thank you for your message, Kef. I appreciate the compliments but on this point, I don't think we agree. Tell you what, though: When Donald Trump invades Poland, I'll be the first to admit he's Hitler. For now, I just think he's a horrible, horrible human being who will say anything to get what he wants.