For those of you who have joined this blog recently, the mushroom soup can is a declaration that Mark is swamped today and may not be posting much. That's to save you the trouble of coming back to this page every twenty minutes, as so many of you do, to see if there are any late-breaking bulletins about tomato soup, Frank Ferrante or baby pandas.
The G.O.P. Friars Roast last night was kinda stunning. I couldn't sit through it all but just the sound bites here and there were enough to put the Springtime for Hitler look on the face of anyone who recalls when grown-ups used to run for president. The thing that's amazed a lot of us about this election is how the old disqualifiers no long disqualify.
Used to be that if any candidate had made even a vague reference to the size of his own penis — or anyone's for that matter — he might as well get out of politics and go get a job refilling propane tanks at a Home Depot. And it was injurious if he said something that his opponents could argue was an out-and-out lie…like Bill Clinton saying he'd never inhaled or Al Gore saying something that could be spun as "I invented the Internet!" Now, twenty such statements an hour do not alienate supporters who used to decide that one proved a candidate was unfit for public office.
But you know, I can't shake the feeling that things Trump said last night are indicators that his act is running out of material; that by Election Day or even by the time Republicans convene in Cleveland at the Quicken Loans Arena (appropriate, given all the candidates' tax plans), he'll have either drastically changed his approach or he'll have a helluva time passing himself off as a winner. Any comedian knows you save the dick jokes for the end and you only haul them out early when you're getting into trouble.
Which reminds me. I don't know if anyone has noticed this but we have an interesting marathon of conventions in July. The Republican one is July 18-21. This year's Comic-Con International is July 21-24. That means that while Donald or Somebody Else is making his acceptance speech, a whole lot of us are going to be in San Diego, attending a much better convention. The Democratic gathering is July 25-28 in Philadelphia.
So it's three conventions back-to-back. Which one do you think will have the greatest connection to reality and the fewest freaky creatures roaming about? Gee, that's a tough one. Think about it until I finish my script and resume normal blogging.