The Archie Pilot

This is a rerun of an item that first ran on this blog on September 27, 2003. It's about two pilots that were done in the seventies that attempted to turn the Archie comic books into an hour-long live-action prime-time TV series. I was peripherally involved as they were done by the company for which I was writing Welcome Back, Kotter.

Contrary to what has been reported elsewhere, I was not a writer on either, though I turned down an offer to work on the second. I was an unbilled consultant on the first. What happened was that the Komack Company had obtained the rights to do these special-pilots and Jimmie Komack had this odd notion of how to approach doing an adaptation of an existing property. His view was that it should be done by writers and producers who were completely unfamiliar with the source material so their minds were uncluttered by what had been done before.

While I was working there, he also did a pilot that brought back the not-dissimilar character of Dobie Gillis. Dobie's creator Max Shulman had co-written a pilot script for the revival — a real good one, I thought, that updated the property but still captured what was great about the old series. ABC assigned the project to Komack's company and Komack used the Shulman script to attract the necessary actors from the original version — Dwayne Hickman, Bob Denver, Frank Faylen and Sheila James. Then, once they were committed, he tossed out the Shulman script and had a new one written by two writers who'd never seen the original show. (If you think I'm making this up, read Dwayne Hickman's autobiography.)

Jimmie took a similar approach to turning Archie into a TV show. The creative staff he engaged were not totally unfamiliar with the property but he urged them not to read the old comics and to instead work from a rough outline someone had written about who they were. This did not sit well with John Goldwater, who ran and co-owned the Archie company and who regarded himself as the creator of the feature. One day, Komack called me in and said, "You know all about comic books, don't you?" I said I did. He said, "Archie Comics?" I said I did. Later that day, he brought me into a meeting with Mr. Goldwater, who was visiting from New York, and introduced me as his resident Archie expert and consultant.

The meeting went roughly like this. I was introduced to Mr. Goldwater and I managed to get in that I'd written many comic books and that I'd apprenticed with Jack Kirby. Mr. Goldwater was impressed at the mention of Jack, who'd worked for his company a few times. We spoke for a few minutes and somehow, I managed to wedge in a nice nugget of trivia. Kotter was sharing a stage then with a new ABC sitcom called Fish, a spin-off of Barney Miller starring Abe Vigoda. I mentioned that Abe Vigoda's brother Bill Vigoda had been a top artist for Archie. "Is that true?" Jimmie asked. Goldwater nodded it was true…and since he was impressed that I knew a lot about Archie Comics, Jimmie decided to quit while he was ahead and send me back to work. So I never got to talk much with John Goldwater. Later, Jimmie did consult with me on a number of points including some of the final casting. But I didn't write on the shows, nor was I credited on them. Here's the interesting (I think) story I posted here about them in 2003…

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Okay, I promised this story. But first, let me note that Gary DeJong did some research and unearthed the info that the first of the two Archie pilots done in 1976-1977 aired on December 19. 1976 and starred Audrey Landers as Betty, Hilary Thompson as Veronica, Mark Winkworth as Reggie, Derrel Maury as Jughead, Jane Lambert as Miss Grundy, Susan Blu as Midge, Jim Boelson as Moose, Whit Bissell as Mr. Lodge, Michelle Stacy as Little Jinx, Tifni Twitchell as Big Ethel and Amzie Strickland as Mrs. Lodge. Byron Webster played Mr. Weatherbee and Gordon Jump (whose passing started this discussion) played Archie's father. In other words, referencing the earlier anecdote, Gordon Jump came in to audition for Mr. Weatherbee and got the part…then, since the producers couldn't properly cast the role of Archie's father, they moved Jump to that slot and put their second-choice in as Mr. Weatherbee. As I recall, the role of Archie's father was much larger than the role of Mr. Weatherbee so that may explain the decision.

Who played the title role of Archie Andrews? Well, that's the story I wanted to tell. After extensive auditions and screen tests, they picked a young man with brilliant red hair but no real acting experience, at least on television. Somehow, things didn't work out. I never heard exactly what happened but suddenly, the role of Archie was being played by the producers' second choice, an actor named Dennis Bowen who had appeared a few times on Welcome Back, Kotter. (Kotter was produced by the same company. Dennis played the recurring role of Todd Ludlow, an honors student who sometimes heckled the Sweathogs.)

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The Archie pilot was an odd mix of sitcom and variety show. It was an hour in length and there were blackouts and little, self-contained storylines of about ten minutes each. Between these, the focus would shift to a rather generic rock band that played bubble-gum style music. The whole thing was being targeted for the 7:00 Sunday evening slot and I recall a lot of argument over how many scenes there could be of Betty, Veronica and a number of good-looking female extras in swimwear and sleepwear. The writers had scripted a number of quick jokes at a swimming pool, and one of the short stories involved the boys crashing a slumber party that Veronica was throwing at the Lodge mansion. Both had been planned expressly to get the ladies into scanty outfits, which the ABC programming department encouraged. At the same time, their Standards and Practices folks ran around demanding less-revealing bikinis and nighties. Some of the best jokes in the show wound up being cut because the girls were showing a half-inch too much of their physiques.

The mix of sitcom and sketches didn't quite work. There was a second pilot with the same cast and pretty much the same idea and it didn't work, either. As I recall, the main change from the first one was that they replaced the generic rock band with one comprised of Archie, Betty, Jughead, etc. Danny "Neil's brother" Simon was the head writer on this try.

Anyway, the great story, the one I wanted to get to, was what happened because they replaced Archies in the first pilot. Somehow, the ABC publicity department never got the word and all the p.r. they issued for the show contained the name of the first actor, the one who was replaced during rehearsals. Poor Dennis Bowen had to endure publicity photos that displayed his face but identified him as the first guy. A few years ago when the Archie comic book folks published a book on the character's history, they said the first guy had played the role.

What happened to that first redheaded guy? Well, he eventually got a TV series, then he left it and made some movies. Now, he's back with another TV series. Can you guess who it is?

Today's Video Link

Here's an interview with the late, great Larry Gelbart. There are no bad Larry Gelbart interviews and none which are not of value to anyone who thinks he or she is or can be a writer. This one though is kind of interesting because the interviewer asks a lot of basic general questions, the kind that usually come from non-writers looking for easy answers to complex questions. Larry is polite and does his best to answer…

My Latest Tweet

  • I've never been disappointed by a food product or a DVD if it had Paul Newman's face on the package.

Mario Cuomo

Having never lived in New York, I really don't have a sense of how good or bad a public servant Mario Cuomo was. All I know is that he gave great speeches in which he explained the Liberal agenda in a simple, non-inflammatory manner…and yes, I know some who read this site think that's impossible.

If you're never going to listen to a (moderately) left-wing speaker for any reason except to hate him and find points to argue, skip the rest of this paragraph. But I was very impressed with Cuomo's two most notable speeches — the one in 1984 nominating Walter Mondale and the one in 1992 nominating Bill Clinton. Of the two, I think the second was the better one, possibly because he had a better product to sell. Those two links go to C-Span videos that I can't embed here. They're both pretty long but both pretty good.

Like I said, I don't know how good Cuomo was as governor of New York. But our country lost a fine orator when the man passed away yesterday. They don't make 'em like that anymore…or if they do, they now feel they have to accompany their rhetoric with some grenade-tossing.

Guaranteed Profit

I just bought a new external hard disk online at Amazon and I passed on two options I was offered…

  1. A 2-Year Warranty for $4.95. The hard disk comes with a three year "limited warranty" and there doesn't seem to be any explanation as to what this warranty would do for me that the "limited" one doesn't. It also doesn't say that this is an extended warranty so it may cover the first two years of the product's life, which are already covered in some fashion.
  2. A 2-Year Data Recovery Plan for $9.95. This proposition gives me more information. It says, "If your drive stops working, the Rescue data recovery plan will recover the data from the failed drive and return it to you on a new piece of external storage." That sounds interesting until you get to this line: "If your data isn't recovered, you get your money back."

Okay, so follow me on this. Let's imagine that I have no technical capability to recover data from a damaged drive. None whatsoever.

I offer this deal. When you buy a new hard disk, you send me ten bucks. If the drive never fails you, I keep the ten bucks.

If the drive does fail, you send it to me and I send it back to you with your ten bucks and say, "Sorry, I couldn't recover your data." I don't even have to send you that new piece of external storage I send you if I do recover your data, which I don't even try to do.

What is my potential loss here? Well, I haven't investigated far enough to know but I suspect when you send me your drive for possible data rescue, you have to pay a postage and handling fee for its return. If you do, I'm out nothing. I might even make a few more bucks off that postage and handling fee. If you don't, then I'm out the cost of sending you your refund and returning your drive.

Since most people who bought this insurance wouldn't be sending drives in for my "services," I'd still make a pretty dandy profit from not being able to reclaim anyone's data. I may need to rethink my career choice.

Recommended Reading

Tim Wu on how uncomfy and expensive air travel is becoming. It may be our fault. As he notes, JetBlue is discovering that wider seats and not socking us with all sorts of fees is not cost-effective these days.

First Post of 2015

Hope things are better for you this year than last year even if things last year were pretty good.

The Groo project I was working on is our new limited (but not very) series, Groo: Friends and Foes, which will run twelve issues, the first of which goes on sale January 21. Each month, Groo encounters someone from his past who is either a friend, a foe or (more likely) a foe who acts like a friend. Each issue can be read separately but there's a minor connective storyline throughout the twelve episodes. The first two covers look like this, only larger…

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For those of you interested in comic book lead times, the issue I was working on will be #6, plus I wrote promotional copy for #7. That's not easy to do when you have no idea what's going to be in #7.

Each issue also includes one of the world-famous Groo letter columns, which someone once called the best letter column in an industry where no one does letter columns anymore. This is not true. There are other letter columns…just not very many of them.

For years now, I've been pointing this out and insisting that we have one and most other comics don't because we care about our readers and others don't care about theirs. They just want your money and don't give a damn what you have to say. In fact, they probably hate you and mock you in private and don't want to even waste five seconds reading your messages.

I meant this as a joke when I started saying it but absolutely no one involved with any other comic has stepped forward to disagree so I've decided there must be something to it. This does not apply to any other comic books I write, by the way.

The Groo: Friends and Foes series is produced by Sergio Aragonés, me, Stan Sakai and a colorist who is usually but not always Tom Luth. Due to excessive crowd scenes and the necessity of sleep for human beings, we must occasionally give Mr. Luth more time to color it than a monthly schedule permits. Sergio, Stan and I have been doing what we do on it since 1982 and Tom signed on shortly after. (Stan does the lettering. What I do is a little more difficult to explain and — I'm almost pleased to note — understood by darn near no one.)

In other news: About a dozen readers of the site wrote in with the solutions to the mystery (see previous post) about why the first string critics who attended and reviewed the Marx Brothers' Broadway debut on May 19, 1924 weren't down the street seeing and critiquing the opening of Blossom Time. Answer: Yes, Blossom Time opened the same night but that was a reopening of a production from several years earlier. They could send the second string critics (or none) to see that.

That's one of the things I love about owning n' operating this blog. The readership is smart and solves riddles…even if none of you have figured out the lady with too much eye makeup in the beginning of the Odd Couple movie.

On with our year —!