On 11/29/08 — two days after Thanksgiving — I posted the following here. The only update I have is that the Boston Market in which this tale took place is no longer there. You may be able to figure out why…
Yesterday afternoon around 2:30, I had an urgent need to get something edible and quick. I was in a neighborhood containing two of my favorite places to do this but both, darn it, had decided to close for the day after Thanksgiving. So I wound up at a Boston Market, which is a chain that usually serves me adequately in such situations. Only problem: This Boston Market was out of much of its menu due to a Thanksgiving Day rush — a fact that was lost on an elderly gent who was ahead of me in line. It went roughly like this…
ELDERLY GENT: I'd like the turkey dinner, please.
COUNTERPERSON: I'm sorry…we had a big crowd in here yesterday and we're out of turkey and most of our entrees. We only have chicken and meat loaf.
ELDERLY GENT: No turkey dinners?
COUNTERPERSON: No, I'm afraid not, sir. Just chicken and meat loaf.
ELDERLY GENT: In that case, I'll have a turkey sandwich.
COUNTERPERSON: I'm sorry…we have no turkey. Just chicken and meat loaf.
ELDERLY GENT: No turkey sandwiches either, huh? Well, how about a turkey-ham combo plate?
COUNTERPERSON: I'm sorry…we have no turkey and we have no ham.
ELDERLY GENT: Now you're out of ham, too?
COUNTERPERSON: Yes, we're out of ham. We're out of everything except chicken and meat loaf.
ELDERLY GENT: The sign here says "Now serving Virginia Ham."
COUNTERPERSON: That's when we have it. We're all out of it at the moment.
ELDERLY GENT: And you're all out of turkey, too? When will you have more? Can I wait?
COUNTERPERSON: We're not going to have any more today. I don't think we'll have any more until Monday. All we'll have until we get another delivery is chicken and meat loaf.
ELDERLY GENT: Monday, huh? How could you be out of turkey? It's the day after Thanksgiving. Everyone has turkey around.
COUNTERPERSON: We don't, I'm sorry. Only chicken and meat loaf.
ELDERLY GENT: All right then. I'll have the Roasted Sirloin.
After another six or seven hours of this, the man finally grasped enough of the concept to order a rotisserie chicken. I stepped up and said in a snappy and efficient manner, "Meat loaf dinner with mashed potatoes and chicken noodle soup, no beverage." The Counterperson breathed a sigh of relief that I hadn't ordered turkey and quickly ran up my order. Five minutes later, it was all on a tray except I didn't have a spoon…
COUNTERPERSON: Sorry, we're out of spoons.
ME: Out of spoons? You're serving soup and you're out of spoons?
COUNTERPERSON: We have soup. We have plenty of soup. We just don't have any spoons.
ME: Shouldn't you tell people that before they order soup?
COUNTERPERSON: We didn't say we had spoons.
ME: Isn't that kind of implied? I mean, if you're selling soup, isn't it a reasonable assumption on the customer's part that you can get a spoon with it?
And from behind me, where he was still waiting for his rotisserie chicken, the Elderly Gent said, "Don't waste your time talking to him. It's the day after Thanksgiving and he wouldn't even give me a turkey sandwich."