Monthly Archives: May 2015

You probably saw this but just in case, here's the song Nathan Lane sang the other night on David Letterman's show…

Julia Sweeney recalls her days on Saturday Night Live. I thought Ms. Sweeney was an underused talent on that show who was capable of doing a lot more than playing Pat in a series of sketches that would be fondly remembered if they'd stopped after about three of 'em. I saw her one-woman show a few years later and it was quite wonderful.

She's right about Victoria Jackson, by the way. I know Victoria — or did before she decided that people of my political positions were Unwitting Tools of Satan. The Victoria I knew was very sweet and very charming but, as Ms. Sweeney noted, lacking in any filter. She said exactly what was on her mind even if it was inappropriate or thoughtless. I'm sure she believes exactly what she says she believes and doubt that any force on this planet could ever persuade her it was wrong.

The Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas has closed and the company that purchased all its slot machines should have removed them from the premises by now. Other tangibles in the building are being sold off and soon, the aging structure itself will be razed and in its stead will rise an extension of the Las Vegas Convention Center.

I don't believe that in all my many trips to that city, I ever actually stayed at the Riv…but I gambled there and I saw shows there and I ate there and a lot of comedians that I knew played its comedy club so I was often hanging out there. I recall one time Bill Kirchenbauer was headlining in that room and we had to go through a little ritual. There was a gentleman who worked for the Riviera who was in charge of the comedy club, a large guy named Steve. Each evening between shows, Steve could and would arrange to "comp" dinner for the comedians. The comp was usually good for two — in this case, Bill and his wife — and Bill wanted to introduce me to Steve so the comp would be for three. "Just be friendly with the guy," Bill told me, "and joke with him a little."

I'm all for free meals so I went along with this. He introduced me to Steve, we chatted a little, I said something that made Steve laugh and he said to Bill, "Hey, Kirchenbauer. Your friend's funny so I'm making your comp for three tonight. Take him to dinner!" It was only a twenty dollar steak in the coffee shop but it was one of those times in Las Vegas when I really felt I'd won something. Then Steve told me, "Hey, next time you're coming to Vegas, give me a call and we'll set you up with a free room here."

I never took Steve up on the lodging portion of his generosity but I did see him again…when I watched The Sopranos. His full name was Steve Schirripa — casino employee turned actor.

That must have been twenty years ago and the Riviera was already getting shabby then. Other hotels of its era underwent zillion-dollar upgrades to remain competitive with new megaresorts. The Riviera occasionally put in new carpeting here and there. As its neighbors like the Stardust and the Sahara and the Frontier and the Desert Inn went away, it was only a matter of time.

In addition to seeing friends in its comedy club, I recall seeing Splash! there — a big, noisy show that at one point represented a modern, contemporary version of the classic Vegas revue. "Noisy" was its outstanding quality. The sexy showgirls and the promise of great acts would draw you in. The decibel level would cause you to leave before it was over…and it wouldn't surprise me if that was a deliberate effort to get you out of the showroom and back to the gaming tables and the slot machines sooner.

The buffet at the Riv was cheap, never crowded and pretty lousy except that the dessert table had an orange meringue cake that was among the best things I ever tasted back when I ate that kind of thing. And for a few years there, I found another, even better reason to go to it. Splash! did two shows a night. I don't recall how I figured this out but I realized that if I got to the buffet about fifteen minutes after the early show concluded, it would be full of showgirls grabbing a comped meal there between performances. They all had their stage makeup on with their eyes and lips painted to appear extra-large but they were otherwise in sweats and old clothes.

There was something very colorful and sexy about it and I almost always struck up a conversation with one of them and was invited to bring my tray and myself over to their table. When I was alone in town, I especially appreciated the conversation and the friendliness and once, one of the ladies took me backstage for the second show and we wound up going out afterwards. We are still friends, albeit now just of the Facebook variety.

Most reviewers thought the Riviera Buffet was the worst in town. That was probably true if you just went there to eat.

The casino was fine for gaming, though one time I got into a dispute with a Blackjack dealer. We "pushed," meaning we tied and I neither won nor lost my bet…but the guy wasn't paying attention and he collected my money anyway. I objected. "That was a push," I told him. He said, "No, you had seventeen and I had eighteen." I said, "No, I had eighteen. Look at the cards." Others at our table told him he was wrong but he insisted he was right and also said he wasn't allowed to look back into the pile of played cards. (I never heard of such a rule anywhere else and doubt there was one there.)  He then grabbed them all up and shuffled, destroying the evidence.

It was only five dollars at stake but if I'm going to lose five bucks, I want to really lose five bucks. I called over the Casino Host — the dealer's supervisor — and explained the situation. Others at the table backed me up. The Casino Host said the dealer was an experienced pro who wouldn't make such a mistake.  I said, "Yeah, well I'm highly experienced at adding ten and eight and getting eighteen."

Getting nowhere, the Host agreed to phone the "eye-in-the-sky" department and have someone check the tape. Play continued at the table while they rewound up there but I stepped away, refusing to go on at least until the matter was resolved.

About three minutes later, the folks upstairs called the Host back. He listened to what they had to say, then handed me a slip refunding my five dollars and said, "They say you were wrong but to be good sports, we're going to refund your money anyway." I said, "In other words, they said I was right but you're not supposed to admit your dealer made a mistake." He gave me a wink and muttered, "Something like that." I cashed in the slip and my remaining chips and I don't think I ever gambled at the Riviera again. It wasn't a matter of principle. It was just time to go to the buffet for a serving of orange meringue cake with a side of showgirls.

I'd say "I'm going to miss that hotel" but that cake and the show my friend was in were gone long ago…and the last few times I was there, it looked like a hotel that could have imploded if they'd just revived Splash! at the same volume. So I missed it a long time ago. If anything, I miss the era of Vegas that it represented.

I noted in this piece when it first ran here on April 19, 2002, we are nearing the day when a great industry will draw to a close…people claiming falsely that they were kid actors in "Our Gang." I think we're there. I haven't heard of one this century. Obviously, the passing of time ended that field of chicanery, as did the publication of couple of books that documented all the real members of that famed troupe and made it harder for frauds to get by…

A few nights ago, Game Show Network ran a 1957 episode of To Tell the Truth in which one of the contestants was Jack Bothwell, a New Jersey restaurant host who said that, in his younger days, he'd played Freckles in the famous "Our Gang" comedies produced by Hal Roach.  As per usual for the program, Bothwell and two impostors answered questions from the panel whose mission was to identify the real Jack Bothwell.  In this case, their problem was a little more difficult because — as the show's producers obviously were unaware — all three men answering the questions were impostors.  You see, there was no character named Freckles in the "Our Gang" films and Jack Bothwell never appeared in any of them.

We are nearing the day when a great industry will draw to a close…people claiming falsely that they were kid actors in "Our Gang."  There have been a staggering number of them, some claiming to have played Spanky or Alfalfa or some other actual character; others bragging of a non-existent role like Freckles.  Not that long ago, the ABC news show, 20/20, did a whole profile of an older black man who, they said, played Buckwheat.  Some of these folks have published books or sold autographs.  Others just seem to want the stardom.

There are other explanations for some of the fakes.  There were several "Our Gang" imitations offered up by Roach's competitors and in later years, some of the grown-up kid actors who'd been in those knock-offs either got confused or, more likely, decided there was more prestige in saying they'd been in "Our Gang" than in, say, "The Kiddie Troupers."  There were also kids who played bit parts or extra roles in "Our Gang" who later decided they'd been regular featured players.

And there's one other interesting source of fake Our Gangers.  At the peak of the series' popularity, there was a gent touring the mid-west, working a "Harold Hill" style scam.  He'd breeze into some small town and give an interview to the local paper as Robert MacGowan, director of the famous "Our Gang" series.  That was the name of the actual director but this wasn't him.  The fake MacGowan would announce that he was interested in getting some rural, small town values into the shorts and that he was scouting for kids who could act.  Naturally, hundreds of parents would drag their offspring down to meet him and he would suggest to each that Junior would be a natural; that he could go directly to Hollywood and earn thousands a week if only he had a little more polish and seasoning.  The phony director — and there may have been more than one con artist working this line — would introduce an acting teacher (actually, his wife) who had just arrived to help his talent search and who, for a nice fee, could make the child camera-ready.  There were a number of variations on the scam, including some that involved actually using locals to film what the bogus director said was a genuine "Our Gang" comedy.  One can easily imagine a kid who was in one of them later believing (or choosing to believe) he was actually in an "Our Gang" movie.

None of this, by the way, seems to explain Jack Bothwell.  He appears to simply have been a fraud.

The other interesting thing about that spot on To Tell the Truth was that one of the fake Bothwells was a former police officer who had recently joined the staff of another game show.  His name was Barney Martin and he later became quite a successful actor.  Oddly enough, he got more answers correct than the "real" Jack Bothwell.  Asked where in Hollywood the Hal Roach Studio was located, Martin said it was in Culver City (correct) whereas Bothwell said he didn't know because his "Our Gang" movies had been shot on the East Coast.  In truth, no "Our Gang" films were made there.

Mr. Bothwell made the rounds of talk shows and did personal appearances before he passed away around 1967, complete with newspaper obits about his career in "Our Gang."  I don't know if anyone ever called him on his little fib but I do know he wasn't telling the truth on To Tell the Truth.

Gosh.  If you can't believe a 40+ year old game show, what can you believe?

I have been laughing for much of the day over the concept of a TV crew taking Don Rickles to the zoo to insult the animals. Whether anyone ever does it or not, it's still funny.

Keith Olbermann was not overly fond of the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight last Saturday…

Abstinence Education — the idea that you can curb teen pregnancy just by lecturing kids to not have sex — continues to prove utterly ineffective. And those who advocate it continue to deny it doesn't work. They have to. The alternative would be to admit that kids are just plain going to have sex and we need to deal with that reality. Here's the latest from Texas, a state that could use a good dose of martial law.

The article also mentions a new law that would prohibit private insurers from covering abortion in all cases except for medical emergencies. Where does the government come off telling a private industry that they can't support a completely legal activity?

Hey, here's a great slideshow of locations in Southern California that have appeared in movies.

Motown: The Musical, which is now playing at the Pantages in Hollywood, is one of those shows where you walk in humming the score. It's the story of Berry Gordy and Motown Records, and it stars a huge, indecently-talented cast and more hit songs than have ever before inhabited a Broadway presentation. The sheer number of hits will overpower you, as will the skillful way in which the cast and orchestra replicate well-known records.

If you're around my age (b., 1952), many of those songs connect with important, often emotional moments in your past…and as presented live in this show, some of them are very powerful and moving. Which ones you'll think are very powerful and moving will vary depending on your past but if you're in the proper age range, I'll bet you some of them register that way.

So: Great songs, great performances, great orchestra and great memories. That's all wonderful but I didn't think the storyline was. Berry Gordy, in founding the world's most successful independent record label, did not really have a "rags to riches" story, at least as presented here. It's more like "riches to more riches and then more riches." The show starts at the rehearsals for the 25th Anniversary Celebration of Motown…so he's rich and famous when the curtain goes up. Then we flashback to his childhood and he's not rich and famous for about ten minutes. Then he is for the rest of the show.

Oh, there are struggles to be overcome when you're a wildly prosperous record producer. It can get messy sleeping with your biggest star. Some of those you discovered and nurtured may prove to be ingrates by leaving you when others offer them more money. You can even get sued once in a while and criticized for your business practices. I admire all that Mr. Gordy accomplished but it's hard to feel his pain when every ninety seconds, the cast breaks into another million-selling hit record that he helped birth and which brought him megabucks.

Gordy himself authored the book of this musical and probably oversaw every note and syllable of it. The Berry Gordy character is not only a great and heroic figure who only did right by the folks he had under contract, he's also — as depicted on stage — as talented a singer and dancer as anyone who ever appeared on the Motown label. His greatest failing, at least in this musical, is that one time when he went to bed with Diana Ross, he couldn't get it up. She responds lovingly by getting up, tearing off her nightie to reveal a Supremes-style sequined gown and singing, "I Hear a Symphony." Other than that, the man wrote a very fine tribute to himself.

But, you know, the plot doesn't matter a whole lot. The gent we saw last night as Berry Gordy, Julius Thomas III, was outstanding. The lady playing Diana Ross (Allison Semmes) was about as close a carbon as you could imagine. They have three very young men who rotate in the "child" roles. Each performance, one of them plays The Young Berry Gordy, The Young Stevie Wonder and The Young Michael Jackson. The one we got last night — Leon Outlaw, Jr. — was absolutely electric as The Young Michael. And even these three superb performances were upstaged by the repertoire and the sheer versatility of the cast as a whole.

I liked that just about everyone in the ensemble got their moment to shine as they quadrupled and quintupled in so many roles. There was something democratic (and perhaps telling about the caprices of stardom) that one guy plays The Adult Stevie Wonder and Jr. Walker Allstar, plus one of the Pips, one of the Miracles and also Levi Stubbs of the Four Tops. And one gal plays Mary Wells, Cindy Birdsong of the Supremes, one of Martha's Vandellas…and Berry Gordy's sister. Many of the mimics are so good, it's frustrating when a favorite song is truncated, as most are.

I should also complain that the show is too loud. It was too loud where Carolyn and I were sitting. I ran into the great writer Carl Gottlieb there and he said it was too loud where he was, sitting on the other side of the theater. I suspect it was too loud if you were just hanging around across the street in the parking lot. But I still enjoyed myself very much.

Waiting in the men's room after, a gent was complaining to me that it was too loud and too long. I agreed with him about the loud part but asked, "Okay…which ten terrific songs should they have left out?" He said, "Well, okay." Then he added, "I think I have to come back. There was just too much there to absorb in one viewing."

Like I said, I enjoyed it tremendously. I doubt I'll be back but there were sure parts of it I'd like to see again. Maybe what I'll just do is play some Motown records…in full and with my hand on the volume knob. The real Marvin Gaye was almost as good as the guy who played him in Motown: The Musical.

Folks who've written for David Letterman recall their favorite rejections. I'm sorry they didn't do the one where Don Rickles goes to the zoo and just insults animals.

Around this time each week, I tell you about some great guest Stu Shostak has lined up for his podcast talk show, Stu's Show, and I recommend you tune in. Today, he has a truly great guest and if you're interested in the history of TV (or in someday writing some of it), I highly recommend you listen in as Stu interviews my buddy, Ron Friedman. Stu can fill the 2+ hours just listing shows Ron has written for Here's a very partial list: The Danny Kaye Show, Get Smart, I Dream of Jeannie, The Odd Couple, Starsky & Hutch, Fantasy Island, All in the Family, Chico and the Man, Vega$, Bewitched, Happy Days, Gilligan's Island, The Andy Griffith Show, The Fall Guy, The Dukes of Hazzard and many, many more. He's also been very prolific in writing cartoons. He was one of the key writers for The Transformers and G.I. Joe and also worked on The Bionic Six, Iron Man, The Fantastic Four and quite a few others. On top of all this, he's a very nice, funny gentleman who comes close to having as many great anecdotes as I do. Do not miss this one.

Stu's Show can be heard live (almost) every Wednesday at the Stu's Show website and you can listen for free there. Webcasts start at 4 PM Pacific Time, 7 PM Eastern and other times in other climes. They run a minimum of two hours and sometimes go to three or beyond.  Shortly after a show ends, it's available for downloading from the Archives on that site. Downloads are a measly 99 cents each and you can get four for the price of three. For your free one, select one of the episodes where I'm the guest because it'll be priced what it's worth.

• Listening to Texas leaders like Louie Gohmert stoking the paranoia of their followers. That military takeover is looking like a good idea.

Don't get envious, dear readers, when I forsake blogging for paying work. A very, very stupid barbarian needs my attention today as does a very, very stupid TV script for a very, very stupid brilliant producer. Barring any breaking news, I'll be back with you later tonight or tomorrow.

Before I go: Hey, my pal Vinnie and his crew did a great job with that David Letterman special last night…lots of great clips, artfully edited.

Tom Shales has another one of those "Farewell to Dave" essays that says how wonderful he is, citing stuff from long ago and far away, and making out like that's how the show still is to this day. Also, Shales makes a few errors like confusing Crispin Glover with Keanu Reeves…and I'm not sure if the reference to Ayn Rand as a "neo-Nazi" was earnestly meant or a failed joke.

Dr. Ben Carson has thrown his hat into the presidential race. I usually jest that these guys are going to get the exact same number of electoral votes as me (i.e., zero) but I have a hunch Carson is going to do worse than that and wind up owing some. He might, however, crush Carly Fiorina.

This year's recipients of the Bill Finger Award for Excellence in Comic Book Writing have been selected. They will be announced shortly. As you know, there is one award for a living writer and one for a deceased writer. I have removed myself from consideration for the first award because if I won, I would immediately qualify for the second.

See you shortly.

For the last few years, the musical version of The Producers has been available to just about any group that wanted to pay the license fee and stage a production. I wouldn't have thought it would have spawned as many high school productions as it has but YouTube is loaded with videos from them.

Why wouldn't I have thought this? Well, the license fee ain't cheap and the financial requirements for sets and costumes aren't cheap, either. Also, even if one cleans up the language a bit (as most do), there are an awful lot of gay jokes and sex jokes and most of all, Nazi jokes, plus it also requires some real good performers. Still, it's been produced often at the high school level…with varying degrees of success.

Here's the "Springtime for Hitler" number from the best production I've sampled on YouTube. This is Summit High School in New Jersey and they did a pretty good job. The whole thing's on YouTube in chapters if you want to seek out other parts of it…

So I'm wondering how many people out there still think Bill Cosby is being framed or lied-about by all these women who've come forth with variations on the same story. He recently finished his current "Far From Finished" tour. Some dates were heckled. Many were canceled. Many apparently had a lot more empty seats than the norm and some venues that stamp "No Refunds" on their tickets apparently felt the need to issue refunds to those who'd bought tix before all this rapey stuff came out.

Cosby seems to have no appearances scheduled — I say "seems" because the page that listed where he'll be has been removed from his website — and I'm thinking he may opt to keep it that way…just disappear for a while.

People keep asking me what he'll do or whether he'll ever try aggressively to defend his name. I dunno. There have to be lawyers calling a lot of the shots now and they know a lot more than we do about where he might be legally vulnerable and who else they fear might come forward. I don't think we've seen the last of him…but I wouldn't be surprised.