Writer Beware!

This ran here 1/17/03 and probably should be reposted here every month or so. In the years since, I've only heard more (and more egregious) examples of this kind of exploitation of aspiring or outta-work writers. Don't fall for this kind of crap, people…

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This next item is about folks who might best be described as "new professional writers," meaning that they've sold a few things but not many, and are eager to sell more. Lately, several have written me for advice and/or sympathy as they have experienced the same baffling, dispiriting situation. It starts via an e-mail contact with someone — we'll call that person "The Buyer" — who is looking for writers for some project. Sometimes, The Buyer solicited applicants on the Internet; sometimes, The Writer was referred to them. Either way, The Buyer sends an e-mail with a long breakdown of rules and guidelines, and encourages The Writer to submit pitches — samples, premises, "spec" outlines, whatever.

The Writer invests some time in cobbling up ideas, sends them off…and the next thing, he or she gets back an e-mail that asks for a price quote. In other words, "How cheap will you work?" The Writer, who knows little of how the project is to be marketed, where it will be distributed, etc., doesn't have enough info to cite a price but if they don't, they don't have a shot at this job. So they do, erring on the low side. And the next thing they receive is an e-mail that says, basically, "You're too expensive. We're going with someone else."

For some reason, this kiss-off is usually accompanied by some sort of gratuitous insult. One writer-applicant recently received one that said, "Obviously, based on the price you quoted, you're not a professional." Based on the low price quote that The Buyer found exorbitant, I would say the project is not very professional, either.

I've heard of this happening often lately, and I have no real advice to offer the rebuffed scribes who write to me except this: Don't spend a lot of time auditioning, especially for jobs that pay rotten (or unknown) fees. No one builds a career doing these kinds of assignments. There's no money in them, and they rarely lead to the kind of jobs that do pay. Even a beginner is entitled to basic courtesy, including the right to know the pay scales for a job before they do any try-out work. If it's going to pay less than a hundred dollars — and some of these jobs seem to pay a lot less — you're probably better off putting the same effort into writing something you can go out and sell. You might also want to read the three columns I posted here about "Unfinanced Entrepreneurs." Here's the link to the first one and I'll repeat something I say in one of them…

Steer clear of those who want to exploit you. Even when you think you have no better prospect, avoid the Unfinanced Entrepreneur. They not only steal your work; they embezzle a little bit of your soul.

The Internet does a great job of connecting us with one another. It also increases the number of leeches who can contact you, and makes it harder to know who — or what — they really are. That "22-year-old blonde cheerleader named Tiffany in Malibu" you encounter in a chat room will probably turn out to be a 62-year-old fat pervert named Sid in West Covina. The supposed publisher or producer who contacts you via e-mail and promises to make you a star may be equally legitimate.