Last night, I did something I haven't done in a long time. I fell down. I can't remember the last time that happened.
Around 7:30, I walked to a nearby restaurant to pick up a "to go" order. On the way back…well, I have no idea what happened but crossing a street, I suddenly found myself plunging for the asphalt. I dropped the bag of dinner and hit the pavement with my left hand and right knee but mainly with my left knee. It hurt like hell but my first thought was, "I've got to get out of the middle of the street." If a car had come speeding around the corner, the driver might not have seen me there on the ground in time to stop.
So in grand agony, I crawled back to the curb, dragging the bag behind me and with great effort, rotated my torso up to sit on that curb. Geez, it was painful. I briefly thought of hauling out my cell phone and calling 911 because I wasn't sure I could walk but I thought, "I'll sit here five minutes and then decide." Five minutes later, I was starting to feel better so I ruled out summoning aid. (I didn't get any from anyone who drove by, including several bicyclists. I guess if they even noticed me, they thought I wanted to sit on that curb. Then again, I didn't try to flag them down or anything.)
Another five minutes and I decided maybe I could walk. The hard part was getting up from the low seated position with nothing to hold onto. Somehow, I managed it. This time, I crossed that street very carefully…and after a block or so of staggering, I decided I didn't need an emergency room: Just rest and probably some bandages. Once home, I cleaned dried blood off my knee and then applied the miracle cure…
As I explained here, Bactine was the all-purpose magic drug for external injuries in our home when I was growing up. It's just some sort of antiseptic but it works wonders, especially when applied by your mother. She's not around anymore but I tried to imagine her squirting the stuff on my wound and that instantly reduced the hurt by half. If she'd done it, I'm sure I'd have been pain-free in an instant.
Even applied by me, it worked okay. I slapped on bandages and then set about the almost as agonizing task of salvaging my dinner. The bag had two foil tins containing separate meals and both had opened within the sack and intermingled. I briefly thought of spritzing it all with Bactine but with a little artful surgery, I managed to separate the entrees, put one in the fridge for the next day and took the other to my desk to nibble on while I worked.
As a human being who spends an indecent part of each day sitting here at the keyboard, I am aware of the uncanny restorative power of my own chair. It's almost as effective as Bactine. When I got back from Miami last week, I couldn't convince my body I was actually home until it was parked in this chair. So I'll be fine. Sore for a while but fine. Right now, my left knee and arm hurt a lot but only when in certain positions.
I still don't know how it is that I fell. It felt like I stumbled over something but there was nothing there. I always tell people when I'm asked to dance, "Sorry, I'm the kind of guy who trips over latitude and longitude lines." That's a joke but I feel like last night, maybe I really did. From now on, I'm not taking any chances. I'm staying far, far from the Equator.