This is another one of "those" postings…
I've been having trouble with my e-mail which comes to me via Time-Warner Cable. Foolishly, I decided to call up and see if their Tech Support folks could help.
I called up and waited through all the silly announcements for sports TV packages and such. I got someone on the line relatively quickly (2 minutes) and explained the problem to her. She put me through to someone in Tier 2 Support. I explained the problem to a lady in Tier 2 Support and then the phone went dead on me. Disconnected.
I waited a minute or so to see if she'd call me back. After all, she had my phone number. Since she didn't, I called back and again waited through all the announcements, then got someone and explained what happened. The person apologized profusely, then put me through again to Tier 2 Support. This time I got a guy whose response to everything I told him was to say, "Let me put you on hold for a moment" and then he'd leave me there listening to the bad hold music for 5-10 minutes, then come back and give me an answer that made no sense.
I was on this call for one hour and 15 minutes, most of it spent on hold, and I was no closer to a solution to my problem than when I started. I asked the gent to kick my call up to Tier 3 or a supervisor or someone smarter…anyone. He said he would and then the line went dead. Disconnected.
I again waited to see if he'd call back. He didn't. I called again and listened to the announcements and finally got a human being. I explained the story thus far, they apologized a lot and put me through to Tier 3.
I waited on hold for Tier 3 for 25 minutes. A gentleman finally came on line and asked, "How may I help you?" I said, "Well, first of all, I was just on hold for 25 minutes and —"
And that's far as I got with that call. I suddenly heard silence from his end and when I said, "Hello, are you there?" I got nothing. But I didn't hear that rapid beeping I heard before when I was disconnected and I heard room noise on his end. So I just waited and waited, speaking every so often to see if he'd respond and he didn't. Finally, I heard him say, "Sir, I can't keep holding this line open. Call back if you want help" and I was, again, disconnected.
By the way: I have Time-Warner digital phone service.
I called up again. I'm a sucker for punishment. I got a recorded announcement that told me all lines were busy and that if I wanted, I could leave a callback number and they'd call me when they had a human being to talk to me. Estimated time: 4-6 minutes. I arranged for this.
Five minutes later, a person called me. I explained what was going on and said I wanted to talk to a supervisor to complain. The person said, "Certainly, I'll connect you" and put me on hold, whereupon I began writing this message. It's now twelve minutes that I have been waiting on hold to complain about waiting on hold and the hold music has stopped and I am hearing dead air which means, I think, I've been disconnected.
Yeah, I've been disconnected. Let's see what happens when I call back and —
No, I'm not disconnected. It just sounded that way for three minutes. Then a Supervisor (that's what he says he is) came on the line and I read him everything before this paragraph. He has put me on hold but before he did, he took my phone number and promised to make sure that if I got disconnected again, he would call me back and I wouldn't have to restart the process.
Well, what shall I write about there while I'm waiting? I may have enough time to retype Ulysses. How about if we discuss Benghazi? I figure the new outcry about this is the Republicans' way of admitting that Obamacare is working well enough to be of no use to them as a campaign issue so they need something else. I agree with those who say there was no mistake or wrongdoing with Benghazi that's even been alleged that wasn't clearly made a thousand times over with regard to the Iraq War without this kind of outrage.
And I've now been on this latest call — the one complaining about being on hold forever — for thirty minutes.
Hey, let's watch a video. This is a cute little bit of animation set to one of Allan Sherman's songs. For those who are too young, the weird words in the tune are mostly brand names and advertised secret ingredients — like Platformate, a well-promoted additive in Shell gasoline, once upon a time — from when the song was recorded in 1965. (Hey, remember when oil companies used to advertise and try to sell us on the idea that their gas was better for our cars than someone else's gas?)
I think a few of the brand names are spelled incorrectly but why quibble? It's a nice bit of computer magic and the animator, Freek "Frzi" Zijlmans, even credited the fonts at the end. I'll watch it along with you and let's see if I'm still on hold by the time we get to the end of it…
Okay, a nice gent at Time-Warner Tech Support in Colorado (!) came on the line just before Mr. Sherman finished his song. I explained to him that I've been on hold long enough to have AT&T Universe installed in my home and he's efficiently looking into my problem which I don't think is going to be solved tonight. But I have reached someone who seems competent and determined to help so there's a moral victory right there. I'm going to post this and I'll update later, if and when anything happens.