I get from one to five calls a day from folks who claim to be contractors. Some of them probably are. Some of them are probably outta-work folks who answered an ad somewhere that they could make Big Bucks from their home phone. They were sent a script and a list of numbers to call…and if calling and reading me that script results in me hiring their construction firm to construct, they will get a commission.
As I've written here before, a lot of those scripts commence with outright lying…
Hello, Mr. Evanier! My name is Sam Footface with Fazzblatt Construction. We spoke last August and you were so nice to me but you said you weren't quite ready to do that construction work you had planned on your home and you said to call back in May. If you're ready now, I would like to send one of our crew members over to give you that free estimate we discussed…"
I stop them after the part about how we spoke last August and I say, "No, we didn't. You're lying." At that point, they either hang up or they argue for about twenty seconds and hang up…and I don't blame them. They're obviously not going to sell me and they have other names on their lists. I wonder what the batting average is on a job like that. One nibble out of a hundred? One out of five hundred?
I wonder how those people feel about getting the figurative door slammed in their faces every minute or so, hour after hour. They also have to depend on their employer giving them an honest reporting of what kind of business resulted from their calling and giving them an accurate accounting of the sales on which their commissions will be based. How far can you trust an employer that hired you to lie to people?
Of all the zillion and one calls I've received, my favorite well may be one that came in last week. I suspect the caller in this case actually was a contractor and not a very successful one. The guy sounded weary and fed up…kind of like Don Imus without the cheery twinkle in his voice. Here with fictitious names inserted is how that call went…
HIM: Mr. Evanier, this is Harvey Sneezeguard with Sneezeguard Construction. I'm wondering if you need any work done on your home…
ME: You're about the eighth contractor to call me this week and it's only Tuesday so —
HIM: Hey, listen, I don't need you to act like I'm wasting your time. I'm just trying to earn a living like a good American and I don't need you pissing on a hard-working family man trying to feed his family. And don't you lecture me either about how you're on the "No Call List." It doesn't apply to individual businesses like mine and I can call you and do whatever I have to do grow my business and keep the doors open. If you don't need any contracting at the moment, fine. But don't tell me I'm wasting your time because you don't know me and you have no right to say that!
ME: How soon can you be here to start building an add-on to my home?
No, I didn't speak that last line and it wouldn't have mattered if I had because he slammed down the phone after he said what he said. This is not the first call like this I've received with a lot of hostility involved but it was the most amazing. Anyone wondering why this guy is in such need of customers?