Monthly Archives: December 2013

Dick Van Dyke is 88 years old today. Ordinarily, when someone you like hits a number like that, you politely don't mention how old they are but in Dick's case…well, the guy doesn't look 88 and he sure doesn't act 88. I'd say "I hope I'm that fit when I'm 88" but the truth is I'd like to be that fit today.

He's been my favorite performer for an awfully long time. I've written here before about how attending a filming of The Dick Van Dyke Show when I was 13 changed my life an awful lot. I'd already decided I wanted to be a writer if and when I grew up but it was that evening I decided I wanted to be, at least some of the time, a comedy writer.

And part of me wanted to be Rob Petrie because he got to sleep with Laura, while part of me wanted to be Dick Van Dyke because he was just so cool and likeable. He just lit up the set when he appeared and it was like that every moment he was there, even when he wasn't in character. During one lull in the filming, he entertained the audience by palming a business card. The next day, thanks to a magic book from the library, I learned how to palm a business card.

It's darn near the only thing I can do almost as well as Dick Van Dyke. I sure can't sing or dance or act or trip over an ottoman…and my English accent makes his sound like Rex Harrison's.

In the last few years, I've gotten to know Dick a little…a lovely man. He has a lovely wife, too…someone who knows how to take real good care of a National Treasure.

Meeting an idol can sometimes be a major letdown but that has not been the case here. He's funny and charming and just as nice as you'd want the guy to be. There's also a very nice aura of happiness about him. He's usually happy — a mutual friend says, "Well, since he married Arlene" — but unlike some happy people, he has a way of spreading his happiness to others around him.

I suspect that's a lot of the reason he doesn't look 88 or act 88. I also suspect it's a better thing to learn from him than how to palm a business card. Happy Today, Dick!

My amigo Bob Elisberg goes into greater, more informed detail on what I was saying yesterday about the Golden Globe Awards. Everyone in Hollywood who cares knows all this stuff but it doesn't matter. An award is an award, a good party is a good party and a good advertising line is a good advertising line.

Here's an even better performance of "Climb Every Mountain" by Audra McDonald. Gee, she's good…

If you're going to discuss gun violence — or even have any sort of opinion on it — you oughta take a look at a couple of charts.

This is from Gary Emenitove…

Since you've had a bit of an ongoing discussion about The Sound of Music Live!. I thought I'd throw out a question that I haven't seen answered…or even addressed…elsewhere.

What about the orchestra?

After much Internet searching, I finally found one reference that the orchestra was, indeed, pre-recorded. I presume that was done largely for cost purposes, but surely added an extra layer of complexity as the singers had to keep up with the recorded instrumentation. Do you know, is there a conductor present in such cases? Or do singers wear an earpiece with a click track?

Also, I saw no mention of the orchestra anywhere. No credit at all. What did they do, hire the Uzbekistan Symphony? Any idea?

They ballyhooed that this was the first live musical on TV in 50 years, but they left out the part about where the music was coming from!

I was wondering the same thing. Does anyone know?

• Fox News now insisting that Santa Claus is not only white but he's Republican, pro-gun and committed to the repeal of Obamacare.

Hollywood — or at least what passes for it on the Internet — is buzzing this morning with news of the Golden Globe Award nominations. This always amuses me no end because there is not one person in the industry who really, deep down, thinks these awards are meaningful except for this: If there's an award out there, it's better to win it than to not win it. Not winning it means you lost something, never mind that no one thinks the selection process is at all functional. Winning means you get to go to the big awards ceremony (they do put on a good party) and you get lots of attention and applause and your movie gets to say "X Golden Globe Awards" in its ads, which might trick someone somewhere into seeing it. More important, it might — and it's a big "might" there — create some momentum which will translate into Academy Award consideration and even wins. Maybe.

There's some question as to who votes for the Oscars and whose opinions they reflect…but the Golden Globes? Nobody really knows who picks them or who gives them or what the process is. When winners get up there and thank the voters and the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, they have no idea who the voters are or how many there are or even WTF the Hollywood Foreign Press Association is. It's some sort of group that has promoted their award into a real attention-getter…and like I said, they do put on a good party. For all anyone knows, they pick their nominees out of a hat and then someone goes eenie-meenie-minie-moe to decide which one gets the trophy.

Still, there's a real Royal Nonesuch quality to it all. If you win one, you have to get up there and talk about what a great honor it is because…well, you've got one. It's up to you to sell people on the idea that it's a great honor. I get the feeling that most winners don't manage to ever sell themselves; that they get home, put the trophy on their mantle and then think, "Wow! One or more people somewhere thought I was the Best Actor of last year!"

• A bi-partisan deal? No, no! Don't they understand the goal in politics is to pass stuff that makes the opposition's heads explode?

For the last few weeks, I've been distracted and concerned about my friend, Jeanine Kasun. I've mentioned Jeanine here before, usually in connection with Stu Shostak, host of the great online radio program, Stu's Show. Jeanine is the lady in his life and she does her own show, Baby Boomer Favorites, which Stu distributes along with his own weekly podcast.

On November 19, Jeanine suffered a Subarachnoid Hemorrhage. Just from the name, you can tell this is a bad thing to have. Basically, it's a brain aneurysm that also causes Hydrocephalus, better known as "water on the brain." She was been largely unconscious since then as doctors (she seems to have good ones) have performed various procedures and closely monitored her condition. They appear to be confident that she will soon be awake…and then they'll be able to assess and treat any damage that has occurred. Many months of therapy will be necessary but at the moment, a full recovery appears not only possible but likely. Needless to say, Stu has been about as busy as a person can be…but he's somehow found the time to do his weekly radiocasts.

If you're a friend of Stu and/or Jeanine, you can make things a little better by not pestering Stu with phone calls and e-mails. You can post on Jeanine's Facebook page and there's a postal address somewhere there (scroll down) to send cards and good wishes.

I've known about this since the day it happened but it was only yesterday on his show that Stu decided to tell the world what was going on…so I can share it with you here. There will be updates on the Facebook page. Needless to say, we are hopeful and optimistic. She's a great lady and I'm not sure if anyone deserves this but she sure as hell doesn't.

One of our favorite holiday animations is a promo that CBS did in 1966. It was designed by illustrator R.O. Blechman and animated by Willis Pyle. As you can see, it's part of The War on Christmas because it wishes everyone Season's Greetings…

So was that Dick Cavett doing the voiceover on that trailer for The Producers? My pal Steve Stoliar, who knows Mr. Cavett well and has worked for him, went to the source to get the answer for us. Here's the word from the man himself…

The "character" voice part fooled even me for a moment. The rest is, I'd think, unmistakable. How very odd. Wonder what I made.

Frankly, I think that in lieu of pay, they should have given him 50% of Springtime for Hitler. But at least this is settled.

Thanks, Steve. And if the rest of you want to thank Steve — and read one of the best books on Groucho Marx there is — here's a link to order a copy of Raised Eyebrows: My Years Inside Groucho's House. In it, Steve even tells the tale of how he became friends with Dick Cavett.

I just corrected a date in something I posted yesterday. NBC's rebroadcast of The Sound of Music Live is Saturday, December 14, not the date I gave. This one wasn't my fault. The site I got it from had it wrong. Thanks to all who wrote to let me know.

• The Mega Millions Jackpot is at $400 million. Good time to enter. Who the hell would even want to win it when it was at $300 mil?

WonderCon, which takes place in Anaheim April 18-20 next year, has announced its second wave of Special Guests…and lo and behold! I'm one of them! So is Sergio Aragonés, who missed the last few due to health problems. His health problems have all gone away and he is back among the WonderConning. To everyone's certain surprise, I will be hosting a number of panels at the convention and just hanging around for three fun days. I'm hoping my own health problems — knees that have developed hostile attitudes — will be over by then.

That's Easter Weekend, a time when a nearby place called Disneyland is a wee bit crowded. Yeah, like neither Chip nor Dale can squeeze in. Still, if you can navigate around the traffic jams, you could have a very good time at WonderCon. I always do…and mainly for the same reasons a non-guest would: So much to see, so much to do. If the Comic-Con International (which is run by the same people) seems foreboding to you — or worse, sold out — WonderCon offers a lot of the same joys in smaller, easier-to-swallow doses.

Matthew Yglesias on how some Republicans, looking to skirt their promises to Grover Norquist, believe it's okay to raise taxes as long as you call them "fees." Funny…I seem to recall many times when a Republican would accuse a Democrat he or she was running against of raising taxes when they raised fees. And is there one person in this country who cares if the three dollars more he pays for something is a tax or a fee?