I had three of these calls yesterday…
CALLER: Hello, may I speak to Mr. Evanier? [mispronounces "Evanier"]
ME: You're speaking to Mr. Evanier. [corrects pronunciation]
CALLER: Good afternoon, Mr. Evanier. [same mispronunciation] How are you today?
ME: I'm waiting for surgery.
CALLER: Great. This is [alleged name of caller] from [name of construction company]. You were very nice when we talked last August and you said to give you a call around this time to discuss the work you wanted to do on your home.
ME: You're lying to me. We never talked about that.
[CLICK!]
I wonder how many of the calls they make end like that. And I wonder how many people "remember" their previous conversation which never happened.
Late in the day, I got a call from an extremely stupid person who introduced themselves with some sort of impressive-sounding title with DirecTV. Ever since I cancelled my multi-decade contract with that satellite TV firm and switched to Time-Warner Cable, I've been half-hoping that someone from DirecTV would call with a great offer to go back with them. I've received a few mailed offers for rates and services they never offered me when I was a loyal, trusted customer but they're not to the point where I'm ready to leap back.
The gent who called me was assigned to try and get me back…and what struck me is that he didn't know anything about the system he was trying to talk me out of. I told him I now have the top-of-the-line TiVo and it doesn't work with DirecTV. He went into a sales pitch extolling their DVR, which is called the Genie, and told me that TiVo was dying out, everyone's getting rid of them and getting DVRs instead. I told him a TiVo is a DVR. He told me that unlike a TiVo, a Genie has a 1 terabyte drive. I told him my TiVo has a 2 terabyte drive.
Finally after a few more of these, I asked him if any DirecTV channels were copy-protected. I know they weren't when I got rid of the service a few weeks ago but I don't like that, for example, HBO and Comedy Central are copy-protected on Time-Warner Cable. This means I can't copy their shows over to my PC to store and even edit out clips like I can with my TiVo. He asked, "What do you mean?" I explained what I meant and he said, "Oh, no. You can't copy any of our shows to your computer. That's against the law."
No, it isn't. In fact, DirecTV sells an add-on to the Genie called the GenieGO that copies shows to your computer. But when I started to tell him this, I guess he realized he wasn't going to make a sale here. He suddenly blurted out, "Have a nice day" and hung up on me.
The thing that struck me about the call was how it wasn't like these endless unwanted solicitations I get from contractors. They're not going to get my business no matter what they say…but to DirecTV, I am gettable. Give me the right deal and you get me back. He didn't do that. In fact, he didn't offer any numbers at all…just the promise that I'd "save thousands."
The DirecTV telemarketing department is said to be ruthless. I've heard it's easier to quit The Mob than it is to quit DirecTV once and for all. I'm going to guess I'll get another call in just a few days…and one the following week and then the week after. Let's see how long they go before they try the ol' desperation tactic by assigning someone who knows what he's talking about.