Late Night Update

When the final numbers came in for last night's 11:35 (or thereabouts) shows, Jay Leno was in first place with total viewers, David Letterman was second and Jimmy Kimmel was third. All of those were pretty close. In the 18-49 bracket though, Kimmel had a solid lead. If he keeps doing that, he'll be around.

In an interview today, Kimmel said he expects to be the Number Three show in late night, largely because the others have such long histories, and that he'll be quite happy to be in that position. In answer to a question about taking viewers away from his hero, he replied, "I'm not killing Dave. We did not put a dent in his numbers. I don't think it will hurt him." I don't think anyone in the TV business, including Jimmy, believes that.

Watching the Late Show(s)

Preliminary ratings suggest Jimmy Kimmel is a happy man today. Looks like he won the time period last night and Leno came in third. This just shows you the awesome influence of Tom Shales.

Contractions

As mentioned here, here, here, here and probably other places, I get incessant unsolicited calls from building contractors asking if I need any work done on my dwelling and if so, could they send someone right over to give me a free estimate? I seem to have gotten into some database that these companies purchase. The calls seem to come in cycles…none at all for a few weeks, then suddenly I'm getting two and three a day.

Some come from the contractors — or at least people who seem to be involved in the actual work themselves. Most seem to come from someone who is just a phone solicitor, trying to earn (I assume) a commission by finding someone who'll allow the free estimate. And lately, most are not asking me if I need any work. They're telling me

Mr. Evanier? [neatly mispronounced] This is Rebecca with [name of some company]. I'm calling you back about that construction work you said you needed done on your home. We spoke last August and you said you weren't ready just then and I should give you a call back in January.

That's pretty much what Rebecca said about an hour ago. When the phone rang, I saw an unfamiliar Caller I.D. and figured there was a 50-50 chance or better that it was one of those contractor calls.

Now, I don't need any construction work done on my house. I just had construction work done on my house — a remodel of my detached garage that was necessitated by a sewer leak in there. The contractor, who was recommended by an architect I know, did a great job and the next time I need work, he's the guy I'm going to call. If he's not available, I'll go back to my architect friend and ask him, "Who else you got?" I never, never, never, never, never buy anything that comes at me via an unsolicited phone caller but throw in five more "never"s to know how likely I am to engage one of these contractors who calls and pretends we spoke before.

Usually, I tell them they're lying and to not phone again. Today, I decided to say that but to also lie back to Rebecca: "Rebecca with [name of that company], we did not speak last August. You're lying to me." That's all true. Now, here comes the part where I started lying…

"Actually, by coincidence, I have a dozen improvements I need to make here and I am in the market for a good contractor but I'm not going to trust one who starts our relationship by lying to me. You blew it, Rebecca. You blew it by dishonesty and deception. Please don't call here again."

We hung up and I waited to see how long it would take before I got a call from one of Rebecca's "friends." It took about ten minutes and it was the same Caller I.D…

Mr. Evanier? [mispronounced the same way] This is Bob White from [name of some other company]. We're doing some work in your area and some of your neighbors told us you'd been looking for a good contractor…

I interrupted and told him, "No, none of my neighbors told you that. Rebecca told you that. You're another liar so I'm not going to give you the job, either." Then I hung up on him and waited. It took another ten minutes and it was the same Caller I.D…

Mr. Evanier? [same mispronounciation] My name is Greg Harlow and I'm with [name of yet another company]. We're a full-service contractor and we can provide excellent references if you have any jobs we could bid on…

I told him I didn't need any work done and that the next time I did, I already had a contractor. I also told him that I'd lied to the lady who was working the same phone bank with him…so I'm guessing that's the end of that campaign. I won't be lying like that to the next contractor who phones, probably later today, because I don't need to turn one call into three. My attitude, however, towards these solicitations is evolving. I'm starting to think they're not going to cease so why not have some fun with them?

Today's Video Link

Over on Kickstarter, some folks are trying to raise loot to finish this, a documentary on MAD magazine entitled When We Went MAD. It looks real good to me and well worth your support, which you can give over on this page. Check out the trailer here or there, then go there and chip in…

Writer's Blockade

My former partner Dennis Palumbo, now a top psychologist for show biz folks, writes about seeing the forest for the trees.

The advice he gives is, as always, sound. Writers worry way too much about what they write, often to the point of letting that worry prevent them from writing. Years ago, I used to tell friends with this kind of blockage, "Hey, write it and then decide if it's any good. You can always throw it away and all you'll have lost is the paper plus the time you spent writing it. You're already spending that time staring at the typewriter or finding excuses why you're not writing. So spend it writing." These days, it costs even less since if you decide the thing isn't even worth printing out, you aren't even wasting paper.

Late News

Yesterday, the morning after Jimmy Kimmel Live (which, by the way, is not live) debuted at 11:34, the initial reports were that he'd topped both Leno and Letterman by a hair…

In his 11:35 PM debut for his ABC late-night talk show, the host beat now-rivals Jay Leno and David Letterman in households and in the key adults 18-49 demo. In 25 markets with local people meters, Jimmy Kimmel Live earned a 1.0/5 rating in 18-49, besting The Tonight Show's 0.8/4 and Late Show's 0.6/3. Among Nielsen's 56 metered markets (with Memphis and Salt Lake City excluded), Kimmel's move from midnight to a half-hour earlier saw his show receive a 2.8/8 household result, compared with Letterman's 2.7/7 and Leno's 2.4/6.

As you can see, the numbers are very close and since it's a debut show, probably not indicative of any future trend. Nevertheless, I immediately received an e-mail from a devoted Kimmel fan in Kentucky. This gent has written me before, insisting that my lack of enthusiasm for Mr. Kimmel is in the nature of a factual error since it's inarguably obvious J.K. is the greatest late night host ever, putting Carson to shame and inevitably sending Jay and Dave off to the old folks' home. I hope they get more honest caregivers there than my mother had.

Anyway, the gent in Kentucky wrote in part…

Kimmel won the time slot and this is just Day 1. He'll win the time slot tomorrow night and the night after and the night after. He's going up and Leno and Letterman are going down, down. He will win every single night by wider and wider margins.

As it turned out, Kimmel's winning streak lasted about another hour. As you can see in plain English in the above news item, they were reporting preliminary ratings from 35 markets with local people meters and 56 metered markets. This was not the whole country. Not long after I received Kentucky's victory dance message, more numbers came in…

On its first night in its new time slot, Jimmy Kimmel Live had more viewers than The Late Show With David Letterman but fell short of topping The Tonight Show. ABC's Kimmel pulled in 3.097 million viewers Tuesday night compared to 2.882 million for CBS' Letterman and 3.274 million for Leno. The Tonight Show got 1.084 million in the Adults 18-49 demographic compared to Jimmy Kimmel Live's 887,000. But Kimmel solidly bested The Late Show among demo, getting 30% more than Letterman's 683,000.

This is still all very close and not indicative of any future trend. All it means is that Kimmel didn't crush the competition his first night. It doesn't mean his ratings won't go down next week or up the week after. But it does lead to a lot of contradictory headlines…

latenightratings

On his second night, Kimmel finished third in total viewers but tied Leno in the 18-49 bracket. It'll probably be a three-way race for the next few weeks though with Leno generally in the lead. If Kimmel's still neck-and-neck in two months, he'll be doing fine. But really, all he probably has to do is beat what Nightline used to get in that time slot. ABC has to look at the numbers and feel they're better off with the shows in that order than they were with the old arrangement.

I haven't watched Kimmel's show in its new berth yet but I'm tempted to. Tom Shales gave it about as bad a review as any show has ever gotten…and Tom Shales is so rarely right about anything.

In any case, I don't think either Jay or Dave are going anywhere for a while. According to some reports, Leno has just been extended for two more years. His old contract was up in 2014 and it's not clear whether a two-year extension would keep him there until two years from now or two years from when the old pact expires. Either way, he's there for a while…especially if a so-called "host with a demographic advantage" isn't doing any better in that category. In that sense, Kimmel may wind up doing Leno a great service if he demonstrates that a younger star wouldn't do any better with 18-49 viewers.

Today's Video Link

Time for another Baby Panda video! This past week was the public debut of Xiao Liwu, the newest cub down at the San Diego Zoo. Here he is at age five months, venturing out into the habitat and trying to climb his mother. I did the same thing except I was twenty-three at the time…

Recommended Reading

Matt Taibbi on this lawsuit that former AIG head honcho Hank Greenberg is bringing against the federal government. It represents chutzpah with a capital "chutz."

Late-Breaking Elisberg News

Our friend Robert J. Elisberg, who writes for Huffington Post, has finally set up his own blog at www.elisbergindustries.com. You might want to mosey over there and check out the first of many reports he's filing from the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas. Listen to Bob for he knows of what he writes.

Comics Buyer's Guide, R.I.P.

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The Comics Buyer's Guide, which has published continuously since 1971, will cease with its March issue. I haven't seen an official reason yet but I'd suspect Competition From the Internet as a pretty obvious one. Before there was a web, CBG was the first place to hear news of the industry. Now, it's just about the last. Its other main function — ads — has pretty much been usurped by the 'net, eBay especially.

I go way back with the publication, back to when it started as The Buyer's Guide for Comic Fandom, published by Alan Light in February, 1971. My then-partner Steve Sherman and I were, I believe, its first columnists. We did one in the fourth issue but never followed-up on it. I then became a columnist for them 23 years later in 1994 and quit in 2002. I thought at the time I was resigning because one of the publisher's staff members had been less than polite to me when I asked that my compensation be raised a penny per word so as to match another columnist's rate. In hindsight, I decided that was only my conscious reason. The sub-conscious one was that I'd been blogging more than a year by then and come to prefer the independence and immediacy of this medium.

When Alan ran it, the newspaper was a fine place to read ads and a few good articles but not much more than that. Still, at that price — free for the first years of its existence, darned cheap thereafter — it was a must-get for most of us in and around comics. In 1983, he sold it to Krause Publications, a firm which specialized in hobby-oriented material. Don and Maggie Thompson were hired to run it and the publication was quickly revamped into the central nervous system of the comic book field with timely news, opinions, articles on comic book history…and lots of ads. The ads never interested me much but I found other things to enjoy…and in every issue.

Since the Internet flourished, we've watched CBG shrink like Ray Palmer after a gastric bypass. I hardly know what to say about its termination except that this does not come as a surprise. I'll miss it…but then I've missed it the last few years as each issue arrives with fewer pages than the one before. It was a great thing in its day and I'm sorry that day is over.

Tales of My Mother #11

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The last decade of my mother's life, she could barely walk and barely see. Increasingly, she became reliant on a succession of paid caregivers. I could and did drive her to doctor appointments but she felt mounting guilt every time she took me away from my life to do her marketing or drive her to get her hair cut or toenails clipped. There were also tasks a son just plain couldn't help her with…like showering.

So we started hiring women from a caregiver agency. For a time, the biggest problem was that the women didn't stick around long. They all loved my mother. They just didn't seem to like caregiving. It's hard, often less-than-pleasant work. It pays a low hourly rate. And in the sampling we had, it seemed to attract folks who couldn't get the job they really wanted in life, were only caregiving until they could…and resented that they were bathing old people instead of pursuing that yearned-for occupation. There were exceptions — a few who seemed to find the work fulfilling and did it well — but they were, make no mistake about it, exceptions.

Sadly, even the exceptions were transitory and we always seemed to be "breaking in" a new one…or waiting for the agency to find us a new one. Many of their caregivers wouldn't work in a "smoking home" and my mother had yet to break her addiction to Marlboros.

Two things I did not do: Even during the periods when we were desperate for the agency to find us a new caregiver, I did not call another agency. This one had been highly recommended and the people there seemed very nice and responsible. And I did not hire one of several former caregivers — women who'd tended to my mother, then left that agency — who contacted me directly offering their services. They all said something like, "I wasn't making enough working through that agency. But if you paid me the same amount directly and they weren't taking their cut…"

I said no to these offers for two reasons. One was that it seemed unethical. These women had all signed a contract with the agency that they wouldn't do this…and I believe I may have signed one myself that I wouldn't hire them on such a basis. Also, the agency was "licensed and bonded" (remember the second part of that phrase) and a freelance caregiver would not be. So we waited. I had one friend who could fill in now and then helping my mother…and sooner or later, the agency would come up with someone.

"Someone" last year was a woman I'll call Lucy. She was a large woman who claimed (I'm not sure I believe this) that her son was a starting player for the New York Jets. She was caregiving, she said, because her kids had all grown and moved away. She missed taking care of a person in need and she herself was a person in need…of money. For a time, she was more than adequate in the job.

As I mentioned here before, I was supervising my mother's finances. I would eventually take over everything but at this point, she still had her credit card and her checkbook. Every now and then, I'd log into "her" account on her bank's website and check balances and transfer funds between her several accounts. One night around 2 AM, I logged in and chanced to notice something I should have spotted a few weeks earlier.

Most of the charges on my mother's credit card were to markets, primarily the Ralphs near her home. I noticed that for some time, they'd fallen into an unusual pattern. There would be a charge of $20-$40 and then the same date, there'd be a larger one, always for more than $200. My mother did not need $200+ worth of groceries per week. The lesser expenditure was about right.

I immediately called the bank and froze the credit card. My name was on all her accounts so I could do things like this. The next morning, I asked my mother how her marketing had been handled lately. It was pretty much what I expected…

"I give Lucy a list of what I need and I give her my credit card and send her to Ralphs. Or sometimes, she takes me there."

I asked, "When she takes you there, who handles your credit card? And does she also buy things for herself?"

"Yes, she sometimes does her marketing at the same time. I'm in the wheelchair so I give her my credit card and she runs it through the machine there, then she hands it back to me."

"Are you certain she's not charging her purchases to yours at the same time?"

My mother thought for a moment then said, sadly, "No, I guess I'm not." By now, she'd figured out what this was all about.

I called the agency and had them suspend Lucy's visits. Then I drove over to the Ralphs where most of the mysterious transactions had occurred. I explained the situation to the manager there and showed her that I had a duplicate of my mother's card with my name on it. Based on that, she arranged for the market's accountant to give me a printout of all the charges to that card that had been posted since Lucy began working for us.

I picked it up later the same day and sat in my car in the parking lot, studying it. Lucy had refrained from skullduggery for the first few months of her employment, then started small. I already knew that from the data on the bank's website. Now, I saw that all the large, questionable charges were time-stamped one minute or so after the smaller, probably-legitimate ones.

The charges were all itemized. The purchases charged in the smaller transactions were all things I knew my mother used — her favorite brand of cookies, her favorite fruits, her brand of cigarettes, etc. The larger charges were for items she didn't use…a lot of coffee and non-dairy creamer, and each of the larger transactions included a $100 or $200 gift card.

And I noticed something else interesting: Listed alongside each charge was the number of the Ralphs Reward Card that had been used. There was one number on all the small transactions and a different number on all the large transactions.

I went back into the market and bought a bottle of water. At the counter, I lied to the checker. I told her, "I don't have my Ralphs Reward Card with me. Can I just give you my phone number?" She said sure…so I gave her Lucy's phone number. She keyed it in, I paid for the water and she handed me a receipt. The receipt had on it the number of the Ralphs Rewards Card that had been used and it was the same number attached to all the larger transactions.

Then I went over to my mother's and found out the number of her Ralphs Rewards Card. It was the number attached to all the smaller transactions.

Many years ago, I was briefly a writer on a TV series about an investigator named MacGyver. This was the first time I ever felt like him.

The agency fired Lucy, who tearfully swore she'd never done what I'd concluded she'd done. "I would never steal from your mother, Mark," she sobbed to me on the phone. "I love your mother." It was a pretty convincing performance and for about three seconds, I had to wonder if there wasn't some other explanation. Then I looked again at the evidence I'd compiled and went to the police.

This involved several phone calls and several visits there and waiting around for a long time on each of the visits. I had printed out packets of the bank records and the Ralphs data and had it all neatly charted and graphed and annotated. Every officer and detective who paged through it was impressed with how complete it was…and how airtight. "We rarely have someone come in and hand us an open-and-shut case like this," one said. He noted that the Ralphs Reward Card numbers alone were pretty solid proof that the larger transactions had been for Lucy's purchases, not my mother's. It would also be a pretty simple matter to trace the gift cards and see who redeemed them.

Alas, he also told me how overwhelmed and understaffed they were: "We have hundreds of these cases already open. And to be quite honest with you, yours is going to the bottom of the pile. Your mother is not out on the street. She's not going to miss a meal. She has you. Yes, a few thousand dollars is a lot of money but we have cases where someone who is alone in the world was screwed out of their life's savings and is now homeless."

I told him I understood all that but I had two concerns. One was that Lucy had to figure I was going to the cops. The agency, to justify the firing, had shown her how much evidence I'd collected and forwarded to them. How likely was it that she wasn't currently packing to move and disappear? Also, I noted, "My mother is 90 years old and in poor health. She's quite upset about this and would like to see some justice before she dies."

The detective promised he would do what he could. So did a lady at the city's Elder Abuse Department which was one of many other agencies I contacted. She reiterated for me how shorthanded the police were to deal with matters like this. "They could use another ten men over there," she said. "Unfortunately, the same people who complain that the police don't solve enough crimes are also dead set against paying a fraction of a penny more in taxes, which is all it would take to hire those ten men." Her division was being cut back, too.

So we waited. And waited. And in the meantime, the agency tried to find us a new caregiver. "This has never happened to us before," they told me over and over. "We've never had a caregiver caught stealing from a client." I didn't necessarily believe that but I supposed the significant word in that claim was "caught." If my mother hadn't had me monitoring her accounts, she'd never have known.

Finally, they found us a new caregiver who came with impeccable credentials. We'll call her Ethel. She was a short, portly nursing student who'd worked for many satisfied customers through this agency. She seemed nice enough and I figured she was honest. Even if she wasn't, she'd been told about how I watched my mother's financial affairs and how the police would soon be hauling her predecessor off to the pokey. So you figure that she'd at least know she wouldn't be able to get away with anything.

Yeah, you'd figure that, wouldn't you?

She didn't do anything for a few months. Then one night, again around 2 AM, I went online to check my mother's account and found three very wrong checks totaling $1,280. This bank lets you view a scan of a cashed check online and I could see that they were made out to Ethel and not by my mother. In the last few days, someone making no attempt whatsoever to imitate my mother's handwriting had filled them out, signing her name. I then checked the data on my mother's (new) Visa card and found about a thousand dollars in recent charges to two cell phone companies — SimpleMobile and Sprint. My mother did have a cell phone but not from either of those firms.

By 2:15 AM, I had the checking account closed and the credit card frozen. The next morning, Ethel was fired by the agency. She admitted to cashing the checks but swore that my mother had made them out. "She had me buy some things she needed and she was just paying me back for what I spent." That was her story but she somehow couldn't remember even one of the items she'd purchased for my mother a week before for a total of $1,280. My mother, of course, said there had been no such purchases. Ethel also insisted she didn't know a thing about any credit card charges.

At this point, I took my mother's checkbook away from her. I noted that Ethel (or her accomplice) had filled out checks #542, #543 and #547. #544 was a real one — my mother paying her gardener — and #545 and #546 were missing and have not been seen since. #549 and those that followed were still there except that one entire pad of blanks — checks #641-670 — were missing from her desk drawer. They were also now useless since I'd closed that account.

I made up another report and took it to the same detective at the L.A.P.D. He thought the sequel was even better than the original. There was no progress yet on the Lucy matter — we were still situated near the bottom of that pile — and now the Ethel matter would be keeping it company down there.

"Forgive me for questioning procedure here," I said to the detective. "But it would seem like with all the paperwork I've supplied you, it's just a matter of having an officer or two go to these womens' homes — you have their addresses from the agency — and bringing them in or at least letting them know they're under investigation. The evidence is so airtight that one or both might just confess or plea bargain or something."

"There's about a 90% probability it would go just like that," he replied. "But there are still a lot of cases ahead of you."

I thought I'd caught everything Ethel had done but she had one more surprise for me. My mother's prescription renewals were done online. I ordered, they were mailed to her and then I would go over each week and put the proper pills into one of these things…

pillorganizer

Sometimes, I had to use two of them.  My mother took a lot of medication.  There were times when the Walgreens over on Pico had fewer pills in it than were in my mother.

The week after the Ethel caper had come to light, my mother told me she had not received my most recent order and I knew we were close to running out of some capsules. I called the pharmacy and they assured me the order had been sent. When the pills didn't arrive a few days later, I drove over and picked up another supply. Then a day or two later, my mother casually mentioned to me that not only had she never received those pills, she hadn't had any mail at all in the last two weeks or so. That was when the light went on!

I checked with her post office. It turned out that the same day Ethel had written those bogus checks, someone (gee, I wonder who) had gone online and filled out the form to halt my mother's mail delivery indefinitely.

One can only guess what was on Ethel's mind. She'd been told I watched over my mother's finances. She might have noticed my mother never had bank statements around. (Since I did my supervision online, it was all paperless.) Still, I can only suppose she didn't ponder any of this; just thought that the checks would not have been noticed if my mother wasn't receiving her mail. Or maybe it was all being masterminded by a friend of hers who didn't know all that Ethel should have known.

I contacted the U.S. Postal Inspectors who told me stopping someone else's mail is a crime. I don't know why they then make it so easy to do but it's a crime. They have, they said, a record of the IP address of every computer from which a request of that nature was received and that might be handy when the mail-stopper does his or her mail-stopping on his or her own computer. In any case, they would certainly look into this allegation, they said…and then I believe it went to the bottom of another very large pile.

It's important that I emphasize something: Everyone I dealt with in law enforcement or related agencies (I spoke to many not mentioned here) was professional and dedicated and eager to help…and doing a job that should have been spread out among at least a half-dozen other employees. One lawyer for the city told me something and I'm going to try to replicate it here from memory. This is the essence of what he said if not the precise words…

Every single division of law enforcement in L.A. is shamefully and seriously understaffed. Every one. If there's a job that needs twenty people to do it efficiently, we have to do it with three. We should spend a lot more money in this city on law enforcement but we don't. The voters would have to get behind that and they all assume that if they call and say "A man with a gun is breaking into my house," we'll find a black-and-white unit to be there within minutes…and usually though not always, that's true. So all people think of when you say we need more money for police is "Uh-oh. Higher taxes and more meter maids to give me a ticket when I'm two minutes late getting back to my car." And they vote no and later, when they need us to handle something like your matters, they get mad at us that we can't jump right on it like the cops on TV do.

You see the problem for yourself here. You walked in with overwhelming evidence of guilt on the part of these two caregivers. If I were the prosecuting attorney, I could get a conviction in two seconds with my eyes closed. But we can't spare the manpower to even go out and arrest those people. They may be working for someone else right now, doing the same things. They probably figure they got away with it the last time so why not try it again with someone else?

As it turned out, the police still have not gotten around to acting on our two complaints and as you know, my mother passed away last October. I am now told this makes one of the two cases more difficult to prosecute…so it's probably moving even farther down in the pile. The other one, they say, will not suffer from the fact that my mother now cannot testify, but it may still be a long time before there's any action.

In the meantime, I turned my attention to recoupment and got partial redress from the bank. Then I went to the caregiver agency — the one which, you may recall, is "licensed and bonded." I kinda figured that "bonded" part meant that they had insurance that would make good on any losses incurred as a result of their employees' actions.

Yeah, you'd figure that, wouldn't you?

It turns out, as the owner of the agency explained to me, that his insurance company will only pay if there's proof of the loss. And what would constitute proof? "If the police get a conviction."

I asked him, "Is there any doubt in your mind that two of your caregivers robbed a 90-year-old blind woman?" He said no. But the insurance company will only pay if there's a conviction. If the caregiver disappears and is never caught, the bonding is worthless.

He again assured me this had never happened before in the history of his agency. Later, his partner called and gave me the same assurance. I don't believe either of them. First off, they've had hundreds, probably thousands of caregiver placements. What are the odds that there have only been two crooked ones and my mother would get them both, one right after the other?

Secondly: Remember how I said that her former caregivers would sometimes contact me to see if they could work directly for her? Well, when one did not long after the first crimes were discovered, I asked her if she'd ever heard of any caregivers at that agency robbing their clients. She said, "Sure…it happens all the time. At least once, maybe twice, when they placed me with a new client, I was told it was because the one before me had been caught stealing." Another former caregiver who called me for the same reason told me the same thing.

The second one told me she'd twice replaced caregivers who had been found to have been stealing…in both instances, pieces from the client's jewelry cases. She said, and again I'm re-creating here from memory, "They always think, 'she'll never miss it' but they don't realize that's the first thing elderly women miss — their best jewelry. They can't see well enough to read their bank statements or don't understand them…but they all understand when they can't find their favorite earrings."

She'd recently been interviewed by a reporter for the L.A. Times who was — and as far as I know, still is — working on a story about this kind of burglary. With my permission, she gave him my number and he called me. I wasn't ready yet to go public with our cases — at this stage, I still thought the police and/or the agency's insurance company would be doing something soon — but we did have a conversation. He said he had found many such incidents and that they were not as uncommon as you might think. But the main thrust of his story is that most of the elderly never realize when it's being done to them. Our story is interesting but we're in the minority. We caught it.

So here is where things stand. I am Waiting for Godoti.e., for my mother's cases to move from the bottom of the pile at the police station to the top. I am told at least one is easily prosecutable if and when that happens…if it happens. One detective there told me that the most likely scenario that would result in either woman winding up in a courtroom would be if she were to be caught doing it again, and then our case would be folded into that case. Ethel might be getting her nursing license right about now.

Of course, for them to be caught again would mean that the person(s) they're stealing from now would have to notice. That, as we've learned, doesn't happen most of the time. Complicating it all, of course, is that my mother is not here to testify in the case where it might matter…and oh! Did I mention that I checked and neither Lucy nor Ethel seems to have the same phone number any more? The agency believes each has moved and left no forwarding address.

My lawyer is researching the matter, deciding the best direction in which to sue. I suspect I'll spend more than I'll collect but I'm not concerned about that. First off, it will be very satisfying. Secondly, it might in some microscopic way make this kind of thing happen less often. And thirdly, I can afford it as I've just found a great new source of income. I'm going to begin caregiving for really old people who can't see very well and I'll write checks without their knowledge and charge things to their credit cards. Until we start spending more money on police in Los Angeles — which will never happen — it's a gold mine. A gold mine, I tell ya.

Today's Replacement Video Link

Let's see if this one sticks around longer. Comedy Central videos sometimes do funky things to this website but this piece by Jon Stewart last night is so important and on-target that I'm going to chance it…

Today's Video Link

A new short by Terry Gilliam…

VIDEO MISSING

UPDATE, five hours later: Well, The Wholly Family was there when I went to bed last night.  It was an embed from Vimeo but since then, the full online version there has disappeared and the other sites that posted it now have instead a preview video with an option to pay to view the entire thing.  I dunno what happened but if you want to view the preview and maybe buy a viewing of the full, 20-minute version, you can probably do so over at www.terrygilliam.com.  Guess it wasn't supposed to be available the way it was available.