My Tweets from Yesterday

  • At the Daytime Emmys. Surrounded by soap opera stars, talk show hosts and Gloria Allred. 18:31:59
  • I'm hoping Gloria Allred sexually harasses me so I can demand she sue herself. 18:33:40
  • I'm wearing a tuxedo. Kinda depressing to realize this is as good as I'm ever going to look. 18:35:24
  • First category: Best Performance by a Heartless Bitch in a Supporting Role. 18:36:30
  • By the way: The tux is not rented. But I am. 18:45:13
  • Seated with June Foray in the front row. If she doesn't win, I'm making her walk home. 18:46:37
  • Before June and I present, we have to sit through about 90 minutes of awards that some people will care passionately about. But we don't. 18:49:16
  • The Ellen Degeneres Show is winning big. Just to piss off the 8 people in that Million Mother group. 19:21:30
  • You can apparently get a job on Days of Our Lives if you're really, really loud. 20:09:04
  • We just presented. June got the only standing ovation of the evening so far. 20:34:24
  • June Foray just won an Emmy! 20:45:03
  • Is this woman going to party ALL night? 23:26:30
  • Now she's dancing on the table! 23:35:50