Monthly Archives: June 2012

Two weeks from today at this moment, everyone at Comic-Con in San Diego will have mixed emotions about the realization that tomorrow is the last day. But they'll be talking excitedly about the great panels and program events they attended that day. Here's the whole schedule for Saturday and here are the items where people will have to listen, at least a little, to me…

10AM-11:00 – That 70s Panel
A look at comics in the seventies. Some now call it the Bronze Age, but by any name it was an exciting time to be reading comics. Moderator Mark Evanier (Scooby Doo) leads a discussion including Marv Wolfman (Tomb of Dracula), Steve Skeates (Aquaman), Steve Englehart (Batman), Herb Trimpe (Incredible Hulk), Elliot S! Maggin (Superman), Trevor Von Eeden (Black Lightning), and Paul Levitz (Legion of Super-Heroes). Room 23ABC

11:45AM-1:00 – Quick Draw!
It's the annual battle-to-the-death with Sharpies at 20 paces. Three of the fastest cartoonists in the world duel with wit and markers, drawing like crazy to create cartoons based on your suggestions and the evil schemes of the Quick Draw! Quizmaster, Mark Evanier! Competing as usual are Sergio Aragonés (MAD magazine, Groo the Wanderer) and Scott Shaw! (The Simpsons), and they're joined by guest competitor Keith Knight (The K Chronicles), and maybe a few surprises! This is one of the most popular events at Comic-Con, so get there early. Room 6BCF

1:00-2:00 – Cartoon Voices I
Audiences flock each year to moderator Mark Evanier's panels of folks who supply the voices of your favorite animated characters. They demonstrate their craft and tell who they are and how they got into that bizarre line of work, and you'll hear a voice session happen right before your ears. This year's Saturday gathering features Matthew Mercer (ThunderCats, Resident Evil 6), Debi Derryberry (Jimmy Neutron, Monster High), April Winchell (Lilo & Stitch, The Legend of Tarzan), Steve Blum (Transformers, The Super Hero Squad Show), Fred Tatasciore (Kung Fu Panda, The Hulk), Jack Angel (Toy Story 3, G.I. Joe), and the legendary Chuck McCann. Room 6BCF

6:00-7:30 – A Tribute to the Legendary Ray Bradbury
Some called him the greatest writer of fantasy of all time. He was a writer of legendary science fiction, an inspiration to generations, and a good friend of Comic-Con. We lost him on June 5 and now many of his friends and colleagues gather to celebrate this extraordinary figure. The guest list is still being finalized as this guide goes to press, but it should include authors William F. Nolan, George Clayton Johnson, Marc Scott Zicree, Joe Hill, and Margaret Atwood, along with figures from the worlds of motion pictures and television. Your hosts are Bradbury biographer Sam Weller (Shadow Show: All-New Stories in Celebration of Ray Bradbury) and Comic-Con special guest Mark Evanier. Attendees are encouraged to come dressed as their favorite Bradbury character. Indigo Ballroom, Hilton San Diego Bayfront

That's how these items are going to press in the schedule but we already have some changes. We want Keith Knight to join us for Quick Draw! Keith Knight is dying to join us for Quick Draw! But Keith Knight is also scheduled on another panel at the same time as Quick Draw! So we have to figure that out. Also, Fred Tatasciore is moved to the Sunday Cartoon Voices panel and his place will be taken by the versatile Jim Ward, who's done so many things I'm just going to send you to his Wikipedia page.

Lastly (for now), we just added Stan Freberg to the list of those speaking at the Ray Bradbury Tribute and we have more big surprise names to add. I'll tell you about them here as soon as I'm able to but for now, just trust me: You won't want to miss this one.

My Cousin David (who's also a writer and you can browse and order his fine books here) sent me this link to an article all about Sylvia Lewis. Who's Sylvia Lewis? Well, she once kissed Shemp Howard. Doesn't that count for something? Read what else she did.

Here's my pal Pete Barbutti doing what he does better than just about anybody: Just telling a joke…

For reasons that will someday be told here as part of a long tale, I spent a good chunk of yesterday in a police station speaking with detectives and other such folks. Having to take actions that will surely put someone behind bars is for me a joyless experience even though this person really, really deserves it. The best I'm hoping for is a sensation of relief the way you're satisfied to put any annoying task behind you and to not have to handle it any longer.

Being in a police station is, of course, fascinating. The place is active 24/7 and as one of the detectives told me, there are times when it's one or two people coming in with problems and complaints, and there are times when half the world seems to be streaming in through that door. I asked him if there was a "busiest" time of day — Morning? Afternoon? After Midnight? He said no, it could be four in the afternoon or four in the morning but it's like someone just announced on all channels, "Quick! Everyone rush to the police station in tears!"

My overwhelming impression as I've been handling this matter is that the L.A.P.D. (and I'll bet other P.D.s in other burgs) is in desperate need of about five times the manpower; that one reason there's as much crime as there is is that it's possible to commit one and if no victim is left dying or desperate, the cops do not come to arrest or investigate for months. The person I'm sending to the slammer probably thinks they "got away with it" in the past because their past thefts are "Cat 2." That's police talk for "Category 2," which means "handle when somebody here has the time."

I'm real well-organized and in full control of the case in which I'm involved. I wrote up a report that explained matters in detail and includes all the relevant documents and evidence. One of the lead detectives paged through it and said, "You've already done all the legwork for us. It's all here. I could handle this one in my sleep." Then he sighed apologetically and said, "I'll try to move you up in the pile but we have all these ahead of you." He then gestured towards a shelf of files than would keep Joe Friday busy for a year. During that time, Claude Cooper (the kleptomaniac from Cleveland) would probably think he'd "gotten away with it" and would go out and cop more clean copper clappers from someone else's closet.

As I waited for this or that to get done, I couldn't help but overhear others who were in to seek a little justice. There was a striking Asian woman who wanted her former boy friend arrested and beheaded within the hour for, in effect, stealing every last thing she owned in the world. The officer making out her report (in longhand on paper with a #2 pencil in the year 2012) was trying to get the facts he needed — "just the facts" — but she was determined to tell her sad tale in full with many details he did not need and didn't have time for. These included explicit descriptions of her lovemaking with the "ex" who was screwing her one way while screwing her another. It almost came down to her asking, "How could this bastard have stolen my car and my checking account when I was so good to him in bed?"

Throughout, the overworked officer kept shooting me little looks that said, "See what I have to deal with all day?" I got more of them as he dealt with the next persons in line: A couple from Georgia who'd come to L.A. and had been living in their car — a car that had now been either stolen or repossessed leaving them literally penniless. It was another "everything I [we] owned in the world" matter and it made me really understand why my case was not a "Cat 1."

Actually, I'm dealing with two similar offenses. This was my third visit to this station to discuss the first and my first to discuss the second. In my three times there, I have seen nothing relating to crimes of violence. I have seen no lulls in activity. I have seen no L.A.P.D. employees who were not utterly polite and efficient and — most of all — compassionate. And underscoring it all, you sense a basic frustration among them all that they can't do more for these people; that they haven't the resources to make these problems go away as rapidly as they might. Watching cop shows has given many the false sense that the police can resolve matters in an hour minus time for commercials and station breaks. It doesn't work like that. Wish it did.

Dick Cavett remembers Nora Ephron.

Here's Part One of a two-part posting — The Top 10 Best Abbott & Costello Routines. The bellhop you'll see in the first one is Walter Tetley who later provided the voice of Sherman in the original Mr. Peabody cartoons by Jay Ward and Bill Scott. Part Two tomorrow…

Ezra Klein explains the basic dishonesty in Mitt Romney's attacks on "Obamacare." But really, I don't think the details matter to a lot of people. Romney could go out now and claim we have to repeal the bill because it calls for mandatory anal probes and killing kittens…and most of his base would pick up on that.

They don't hate the bill. They don't know what's in the bill. And this week, they hate something more than they hate Obama or Democrats or having the White House occupied by a Black Socialist Muslim Kenyan who wants to ban their religion and take away their guns. This week, what they really hate is losing a battle they were sure they'd won.

Hard to believe that two weeks from now, a lot of us will be wandering the halls at Comic-Con International, comparing notes on who had the roughest trip to get there…but admitting it's worth the hassle. They've posted the Friday Programming Guide so go take a look and see what you want to see. To save you searching about, here's a list of what I'm hosting on Friday…

10 AM-11:00 – Remembering Jerry Robinson and Joe Simon
Jerry Robinson was a key artist on Batman in the 1940s, the co-creator of The Joker, and later an accomplished newspaper strip artist and political cartoonist. Joe Simon was half of the legendary team of Simon and [Jack] Kirby, the co-creator of Captain America and other Simon-Kirby classics, and later the creator/editor of Sick magazine. We've recently lost both of these legendary figures in comics, so let's pause to remember them along with Paul Levitz, Michael Uslan, Anthony Tollin, Marv Wolfman, Paul Dini, Batton Lash, and moderator Mark Evanier. Room 9

11 AM-NOON – Siegel and Shuster and Finger
Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster created a character you may have heard of. Bill Finger co-created one or two himself. These men are the subjects of two new books that unlock many secrets as to how some young men gave the world some of the greatest icons of fantasy ever. Hear Larry Tye (author of Superman: The High-Flying History of America's Most Enduring Hero) and Marc Tyler Nobleman (author of Bill the Boy Wonder: The Secret Co-Creator of Batman) as both discuss their works with moderator Mark Evanier. Room 9

4:30-5:30 – 50th Anniversary of Marvel Superheroes
Fifty years ago Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko, Dick Ayers, Don Heck, and Larry Lieber created the Marvel Age of Comics when they introduced the Incredible Hulk, the Amazing Spider-Man, the Mighty Thor, the Astonishing Ant-Man, and the Invincible Iron Man, all in the course of one short year, 1962. Those characters have shown incredible endurance and staying power, still thrilling audiences today, on both the page and screen. Mark Evanier talks to Comic-Con special guests Stan Goldberg (a Marvel cartoonist and colorist in that storied year) and Incredible Hulk artist Herb Trimpe about the heroes that still thrill us five decades later. Room 5AB

If you're attending the con, do yourself a favor and study the entire programming schedule, which will all be up as of Sunday. Make notes about things you don't want to miss. Every year, I have to listen to sad laments from people who didn't do this, missed something vital and now apparently think that if they tell me how foolish they were, I will reconvene the panel they missed and do it all over again just for them. Don't be one of those unfortunate souls.

Number two hundred and sixty-eight in a series…

Comic-Con International will be happening before you know it and way before you're ready for it. The Thursday Programming Guide, listing all those nifty panels and events, is now online here.

To save you digging around for what I'm doing that day, here are my Thursday panels…

1:00-2:00 – 100th Anniversary of Tarzan and John Carter
He wrestled lions, poachers and ran through fire barefoot without a stunt-double or CGI. Actor Ron Ely will discuss filming Tarzan in the jungles of Latin America with writer Mark Evanier and Burroughs illustrator Tom Yeates. Also featuring David Lemmo, co-author of the new book, Tarzan: His First 100 Years. How Ancient Literature Became Modern Mythology and Created an Ape-Man Mecca in Southern California, coming from Angel City Press in 2013. Plus a 100-years of Tarzan and John Carter slide show included. Room 8

2:00-3:00 – The Sergio and Mark Show
An annual Comic-Con tradition! The folks who give you Groo the Wanderer on occasion will tell what's up with Groo and their other projects and will entertain you with glorious anecdotes and silly stories. Those folks are celebrated cartoonist Sergio Aragonés, his co-conspirator Mark Evanier, Usagi Yojimbo creator Stan Sakai, and the hardest-working man in comics, Tom Luth. Room 8

3:00-4:00 – The Two Editors Panel
Sid Jacobsen was the editor at Harvey Comics starting in the early 1950s, overseeing their successful line including the many titles featuring Casper the Friendly Ghost and Richie Rich. Victor Gorelick has worked for Archie Comics for over 50 years in a variety of roles, including art director and editor-in-chief, supervising Archie, Jughead, Betty, Veronica, and the whole Riverdale mob. What does it take to get all those books to press every week for decades and decades? Find out when moderator Mark Evanier grills these two men who between them have probably edited more comic books than you'll ever read. Room 8

As always, I suggest that if you're attending the con, you take the time to study the programming schedule (the whole thing will be up by Sunday) and jot down what you want to see, along with some second choices if you can't get into your first. And of course, you should attend all of mine.

Once upon a time, it was hard to watch a kids' show on TV without seeing this commercial at least twice, and the jingle was so catchy to some that you'd hear it on the street or at school. The tune was hard to get out of one's mind and it distracted from the relevant question raised. Would it be better to be an Oscar Mayer weiner because then everyone would love you? Or better to not be an Oscar Mayer weiner because then you'd be quickly eaten?

People actually debated that without asking what seemed to me the more obvious questions: Is the premise here that the majority is singing that they're glad they weren't born as an Oscar Mayer weiner? And why single out that possibility when we could all name thousands of other things we're glad we're not? I'm glad I'm not an amoeba. I'm glad I'm not a warthog. I'm glad I'm not a chicken salad sandwich. I'm glad I'm not Jerry Sandusky.

Or is the idea here that these children might someday be given the option of becoming Oscar Mayer weiners? Exactly how would the biology on that work? If that's the case then I think the kid who doesn't want to be an Oscar Mayer weiner is right. But as was too typical in cartoons of yesteryear, someone wanted to sell the message that the group is always right and that the one person who takes a different viewpoint is a troublemaker. This commercial may be selling frankfurters but it's also selling the idea that independent thinking is wrong.

So watch it at your own risk. I won't be responsible if it corrupts your view of humanity. Or if you spend the rest of your life humming the jingle.

My newest opinion is formed by reading all the geschrei from people saying that today's Supreme Court decision is the end of America. A lot of these people previously said that letting gays marry anywhere or that having any abortions be legal was the end of America. Some of them even thought that electing a black man or a Democrat was the end of America.

That opinion is that some people think America is a pretty frail, weak institution. I don't but they sure do.

My not-new opinion is that human beings die without affordable health care and that a society with any compassion or decency needs to make sure it's there for them. "Obamacare" is a mess of political compromises, not an efficient, durable plan but it's also a first step that no one else has taken. To have nuked it now, just because Republicans think that would help them win elections, would be to condemn a lot of people to death and/or medical bankruptcy. I'd be all for a good G.O.P. alternative if there was one but "repeal and replace" is the motto of those who will never replace.