Recommended Reading

Here's a long portrait of Arizona's Joe Arpaio, the self-described "America's Toughest Sheriff." In his case, "tough" seems to include a heavy dose of racism and a presumption that anyone who gets arrested for anything is surely guilty and should be treated like dirt. The whole thing is interesting if not appalling but I was especially struck by this…

Meals [for prisoners] were cut to two a day, and Arpaio got the cost down, he says, to thirty cents per meal. "It costs more to feed the dogs than it does the inmates," he told me. Jail, Arpaio likes to say, is not a spa — it's punishment. He wants inmates whose keenest wish is never to get locked up again. He limits their television, he told me, to the Weather Channel, C-SPAN, and, just to aggravate their hunger, the Food Network. For a while, he showed them Newt Gingrich speeches.

The bad meals and physical abuse are bad enough. But don't the Gingrich speeches qualify as cruel and unusual punishment?

Recommended Reading

David Frum on what this election will be about. He thinks it's not the economy, stupid.

And hey, I haven't seen anybody mention this but is this the first U.S. Presidential Election — or at least the first in a very long time — when neither candidate of the major parties had any military experience whatsoever? A lot of voters who once thought you weren't a Good American or even a Good Human Being if you hadn't served are going to vote for a guy who didn't.

Today's Political Comment

These articles about Mitt Romney's alleged bullying annoy me. I want Romney to lose but I don't think anything that's dredged up that might cost him votes is fair game or even fair, period. Even assuming the past behavior is accurately described — which it may not be — people change. They outgrow past assholishness. If a long-ago anecdote reminds you so much of the current guy as to seem like a "life pattern," then all the evidence you need is the way the current guy is acting.

I do think Romney has what some call an "empathy problem." I don't get that he thinks government exists for much purpose beyond serving the needs of people like him. A question I would love to see someone put to him is this…

You've been around wealthy people and successful businessfolks all your life. How often do you see something that makes someone a lot of money…and while it may be legal, it shouldn't be because it's unethical and harms others?

I really don't know what he'd say. If he couldn't cite some examples, I'd think a lot less of him than I do now. If he could, and he sounded convincing when he said, "…and when I'm president, I'm going to do everything I can to fix that," I might have a much higher opinion of the man.

Garfield Show News

I don't write much here about professional-type things I'm working on but every so often, the e-mailed questions pile up to the point there I figure it will save me time to do one of these…

We've started production on Season Four of The Garfield Show, an animated series of which I am the Supervising Producer. I don't know what my title means, either. Basically, I write or story-edit scripts and I voice-direct the actors. For those of you who care about how meaningless titles can be, I did pretty much the same job on the original Garfield & Friends TV show for CBS when my credit was "Written by" and later when with no noticeable change in my duties or responsibilities, it went to "Written and Co-Produced by."

We did 121 half-hours of that show. In the first three seasons of this one, we did 26 half-hours per season so that's 78 of these thus far. For Season Four, we're doing at least 27 so it all adds up to…well, a heckuva lot of lasagna jokes.

Season Three of The Garfield Show contains three extra-length specials. (In case anyone cares, a usual Garfield Show consists of two cartoons of 11-12 minutes each. The specials run across two half-hours and each is about 45 minutes long.) In Season Four, there will be seven of these specials.

Seasons One and Two have aired in the U.S. on Cartoon Network, which ran every episode at least as many times as their contract allowed. Season Three is already running in many other countries, some of which air it in prime-time, and it will air in America, plus I'm sure Seasons One and Two will air some more here. When? Your guess is as good as mine. One of these days. I'll let you know if I hear anything but you may know before I do.

Today's Video Link

Since there's nothing else to look at on the Internet today, you might like to watch seven minutes of Dean Martin with Don Knotts. This is from before Don had even become Barney Fife. It's a 1960 Dean Martin TV special…

My Tweets from Yesterday

  • Nice to see Obama get that all-important Betty White endorsement. Romney's probably taking Abe Vigoda out to dinner tonight. 13:20:03

Mort Online

Mort Sahl — there's a name from the past — is doing a live webcast answering questions submitted over the 'net. It's on Tuesday, May 15 at 9 PM my time, Midnight in the east. Here's the link if you want to get in on it in any way.

Attention, Dick Cavett!

Speaking of the man as I was a moment ago, he's one of those performers I always thought was truly classy and bright in a real way…as opposed to the way some non-classy folks manage to come off well on TV thanks to judicious handling, TelePrompters and support from Writers Guild members. I only met Cavett once for about twenty seconds so there was no time to tell him a story about his old talk show that I don't imagine he knows.

It dawns on me that I have at least one steady reader of this blog who knows Mr. Cavett well. Steve, if you think he'd be interested, please e-mail him a link to this item…

In 1971, Dick Cavett was hosting his acclaimed late night program of conversation and comedy on ABC and there was an episode that never aired…one I'm sure he's sick of people bringing up but I will anyway. He had on a guest named J.I. Rodale who published books and magazines promoting healthy eating and exercise. Right after he finished his interview and while sitting there on stage alongside the next interviewee, Mr. Rodale had a sudden attack of (I suppose) irony and died.

Back then, the local ABC affiliate in Los Angeles ran a movie each weekday afternoon from 3 PM to 5 PM and it was followed by the local news. I was watching that day…and I seem to recall the film was "The Honeymoon Machine," which interested me only for the chance to gaze longingly on Paula Prentiss and to hope that Richard Benjamin would die soon making her a widow and therefore available. Hey, I was 19 at the time.

Every so often during one of the 94 commercial breaks per hour, we'd see a little ten second flash of a local newsman in his local newsroom teasing a headline that would be covered later on the local news. At one point, he breathlessly proclaimed, "Famous guest dies during taping of Dick Cavett Show. Details right here at 5 PM."

Just as I was being startled by that and wondering who the famous guest was, they cut to a network (as opposed to local) promo and an announcer said, "Tonight on The Dick Cavett Show, join Dick as he welcomes the legendary Jack Benny."

Whoa!

Snap assumption: Jack Benny died during the taping of The Dick Cavett Show! That's what everyone who was watching and paying attention must have immediately thought. (This took place, of course, three years before Mr. Benny actually did leave us.)

I immediately started thinking of all the aspects of this: Jack Benny had died! Jack Benny had died while performing on TV! Jack Benny had died in front of a live audience! Jack Benny had probably died while discussing his life with Dick Cavett!

That all lasted about twenty seconds…until I said to myself, "Self, if Jack Benny had died, that would be the headline. They wouldn't say 'famous guest.' Besides, when they use the term 'famous guest,' it usually means someone you never heard of!" I supposed (correctly) that the Cavett show on which someone had died would not be aired and that they'd selected a rerun to take its place…a rerun that happened to feature Jack Benny. And I wondered how many people watching KABC at that moment had jumped to the same initial assumption.

Less than a minute later, they cut away from a great shot of Paula Prentiss (the cads) to go back to that local newsguy in the local newsroom. Awkwardly, for they'd obviously decided not to wait for anyone to write it out for him, he said, "Uh, just to clarify, the guest who died at the taping of The Dick Cavett Show this afternoon in New York was —" he consulted some papers to get the name "— publisher J.I. Rodale. It was not Jack Benny. To repeat: It was not Jack Benny!"

Games People Play

Dick Cavett writes about his experiences as a celeb on what started life as The $10,000 Pyramid and escalated, as all amounts of money that are not your income seem to do, towards higher amounts. Mr. Cavett was a fine player of that game.

He apparently did not have to "audition" to be on it but at some point, some celebrities did. They'd had a few who had not done so well on-air to the point where the contestants (the "civilians," as Cavett calls them) really didn't have a prayer of winning the Big Money…and it's not good TV if they don't seem to have a chance. So an actor I knew had to prove he could play the game. He was a regular on a popular TV series but he had to go into the production office one Monday morning and ace a practice game they'd play there.

All weekend, he honed his Pyramiding skills and I was one of those who prepped him. The show had sent over a tape (I think it was Beta) of episodes to show how it was done and he went out and bought a copy of the home game only to find it didn't contain the bonus round (i.e., The Pyramid). It didn't have a trace of Dick Clark on its packaging either, which is just the kind of thing Dick Clark Productions would have done if they'd owned the show and had a host they didn't want to cut in on the product either.

So we practiced and practiced, which meant I had to write out Pyramid categories for him to list for the other friends he was playing against. And we watched the tape of episodes which all featured either Cavett or Tony Randall, who I guess were deemed to be superior players. Both had rapid minds when it came to inventing clues and both seemed to understand — as we were told some celebrity players didn't — that on a show like this, there was a time to be funny and there was a time to focus on helping your partner win what for them might be life-changing, pay-off-the-MasterCard money.

My TV star friend apparently could not master that last part. When he went in on Monday to play for the staff, he said something during the bonus round that got a tremendous laugh from everyone in the room…but he didn't win the money. When informed he'd done wrong, he argued that the laugh had not cost his partner the loot; that by that point, she was clearly not going to win the $10,000 or however much was on the line. True, the producers told him…but the home audience wouldn't see it that way. They'd consider it a tragedy that the contestant had lost…and here was this boorish TV star kidding around and not taking the game seriously.

"So I'm not going to be one of your celebrity players?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," the producer said. "But no."

The TV star thought for a half-second then asked, "In that case, could I come on as a contestant?"

Broadway Babies

The recent New York production of Follies is now playing down at the Ahmanson Theater here in Los Angeles and I'm seeing it in a week or two. If I didn't already have the cast album, I could get a little free audio preview by listening to the five songs from it that are available here. [Caution: Depending on your browser, the first may start playing loudly the moment you arrive on that page.]

Today's Video Link

Jimmy Durante selling cereal. I could watch this guy doing anything…

From the E-Mailbag…

James Frankel writes…

I'm thrilled to hear about June Foray's Emmy nomination but amazed that this is her first and that she doesn't have a whole shelf of them. This woman is the absolute queen of cartoon voice work. How is it that she wasn't nominated for most of the wonderful work she's done, starting with Rocky and Bullwinkle?

It's real easy to explain why she wasn't nominated for Rocky and Bullwinkle. The award didn't exist back then. I don't know when precisely it started but the notion of presenting an Emmy for voicing a cartoon character is a fairly recent development.

As for why she hasn't received one since then: Producers have to submit actors for consideration and they tend to nominate performers who are either (a) on every episode of the show in a lead role or (b) guest stars who are well-known from on-camera work. June isn't (b) and has rarely been (a) in recent years. My guess is that she's rarely been submitted for the shows she's been on.

Pasta Upgrade

Click above to enlarge

One thing that really helped me lose weight was learning to read labels. I mean that two ways. One is learning what to look for, how to read them, how to make sure you understand what a portion size is, etc. The other is to learn to read labels the way you learn to look both ways before you cross the street.

The other night in a CVS pharmacy, I happened to notice a shelf with some of those Hormel "Compleats" microwave meals and there were a couple of packages of their Rotini & Zesty Marinara Sauce.  If you look at them casually, they look like the exact same product.  If I read the label of one and decided I wanted to purchase two, I would have just grabbed the other one without checking its label. Closer inspection however shows they're not the same thing. The one on the left has 290 calories, one cup of vegetables and 8 grams of whole grain.  The one on the right has 300 calories, half a cup of vegetables and 28 grams of whole grain.

I'm guessing the one on the left is from an old shipment and the one on the right is the new version.  And I'm wondering if the changeover is accomplished at least in part by cutting back on sauce and putting in more pasta.

I don't have a big point to make here other than that you need to study labels to know what you're getting.  Sometimes, a product changes without it being too apparent.