Things will be slow on this blog today. I'm going to post the daily Laurel & Hardy photo then get ready to speak at the funeral of my great friend, Earl Kress. One of the many interests we had in common was a love of Stan and Ollie. In fact, I forgot to mention that Earl was an important figure in the Sons of the Desert, the international association of Laurel & Hardy buffs. I forgot to mention a lot of things about Earl. I hope I remember enough of them at the podium today.
I want to write something here about grief when I have more time. I believe grief is an overrated human emotion and that we sometimes expend too much effort making ourselves miserable in order to show that we loved someone or are hurt by the loss of them. I don't think it trivializes someone's death that you go on with your life. Certainly when I go, I don't want those who are close to me to collapse and make themselves ill in order to show pain. I'd like them to spend no more than an hour on me (15 minutes will suffice) then go back to whatever they were doing before they heard the news.
I'm going to miss Earl terribly. I already do. The other day, I heard a story that…well, a year ago, I would have grabbed up the phone to call Earl and delight him with it. Can't do that now, damn it.
Funerals are to honor the dead but they're also there for the living. We gather. We share our suffering. We have a little party and in the post-service milling, the topic gently drifts away from The Deceased to "Hey, what are you working on these days?" and "It's been too long since we had lunch." And then when we go home, the official period of mourning is more or less over and we can get on with getting-on. (I'm sorry…I was up late polishing a eulogy so I'm in a more philosophical frame of mind than usual…)
I am well aware that too much of this blog is about death and I'm hoping to change that. You can help. Stay healthy.