Monthly Archives: August 2011

Even as you read this, ballots are arriving in the mailboxes of us members of the Writers Guild of America, West. We have an election for officers and folks are writing to ask me who I recommend.

For President, Patric Verrone (who held the job before) is up against Christopher Keyser (who'd be new to the position). In the electioneering materials I've received, the main argument I see Keyser's supporters advancing for him is that a vote for Verrone is a vote for going backwards instead of into the future. That strikes me as a pretty empty reason. Yeah, maybe the guy who did it in the past could be rooted in yesterday's thinking and the new guy could have a fresh approach. Or the guy who did it in the past could have learned a lot doing it and maybe, as I believe is the case with Patric, done a great job. I don't think Keyser would be bad at all but I'm voting for Patric Verrone.

For Vice-President, I'm voting for Howard Rodman. For Secretary-Treasurer, I'm voting for Carl Gottlieb. Again, I think their opponents are bright and qualified and I won't be a bit worried if either gets in. I just have a preference for Howard and Carl.

On the list of those running for the Board of Directors, I see folks I know and folks I do not know. The ones I know would all be fine. The ones I do not know are all endorsed by at least a couple of people I know and trust. I don't think we can go wrong with any eight of these people. I haven't figured out yet which eight I'm going to not go wrong with but I'm pretty sure Dan Wilcox and John Brancato will be among them.

I'm back from the capacious Chatsworth studios of Shokus Internet Radio where today I did not guest on Stu's Show. No, the big surprise we had planned was that I hosted the show and its usual guest, Stu Shostak, was in the guest chair, so to speak. This was the last live broadcast of the show on that network so it seemed appropriate to put Stu there and quiz him about the station and also about his career in the entertainment industry. I thought it went rather well.

I need to double-emphasize one point: Stu's Show is not ending. It's the station that is ending. Stu's Show is moving to a new home at www.stusshow.com. There it will resume on September 21 with a great (I'm sure) program — a reunion of three now-grown kids who appeared on the old Dennis the Menace TV show, including Dennis himself — Jay North. For some reason, no matter how Stu explains this in one syllable words on his show and on the 'net, people write him and say, "Sorry to hear Stu's Show is ending." In the immortal words of first Jimmy Finlayson and now Homer Simpson: "Doh!"

www.stusshow.com is already up and running and it is there that you can download — for a paltry 99 cents — any of the nearly 250 episodes of Stu's Show that have been done over the last five years. Before this day is out, you'll even be able to to download the one we did this afternoon. There are many shows there that feature me but skip over those for now. Try the episodes where Stu interviewed Stan Freberg, Monty Hall, Rose Marie, Bonnie Franklin & Pat Harrington, Gary Owens, Dr. Demento, Alan Young, William Schallert, Marty Ingels & Shirley Jones, Kaye Ballard, Adrienne Barbeau, Chuck McCann, Betsy Palmer, Peter Marshall and the list goes on and on. I especially recommend the conversation he had with Shelley Berman. If you're interested in the craft of stand-up comedy, you need to hear that one especially.

There is really no money in Internet Radio. Not yet, anyway…and Stu has not even covered expenses the last five years operating his station. These shows run two hours (a few run longer) and 99 cents is a small price to pay. Go download a couple and see if you don't enjoy them. That revenue will make more such shows possible.

A couple of dining notes. Before the show today, Stu and his lovely friend Jeanine and I lunched at a Five Guys that has recently opened in Simi Valley. Stu agreed with me that the burgers are great and the fries are even better. Jeanine had a veggie sandwich and said she enjoyed it a lot.

On the way home, I had a real disappointment. I stopped at the famous Dr. Hogly Wogly's Tyler Texas BBQ, which once upon a time was my favorite place to eat smoked, sauced meat. My love affair with the place started when the noted writer Harlan Ellison took me there in the late seventies. The romance went onto rocky ground my last visit there when I had a meal that was unworthy of the Good Doctor.

But hey, any restaurant can have a bad day so I resolved to give 'em another chance and popped in for a post-show takeout order. The beans were still great, the potato salad was good, the bread was fine…and all but about four bites of the brisket is now outside being eaten (and without a lot of enthusiasm, I might add) by the feral cats I feed out there. Such a sad comedown for the kind of place I used to take friends just to see their faces when they bit into a rib. Sigh and double-sigh.

The always-amusing Barry Mitchell writes about what it means to him when Jerry Lewis sings, "You'll Never Walk Alone."

More rumors of Jerry Lewis appearing on the telethon.

You know, there's a way everyone could come out of this smelling like tulips. I don't know what the goal is this year but let's say it's $65 million. The day before, Jerry makes some sort of appearance somewhere that's calculated to get on the news. He says, "No, I'm not appearing on the telethon." And then he says, "Listen, it's more important than me or the folks running the telethon or any of that crap. What matters is raising money to help my kids…

"I'm still in touch with some wonderful people in the MDA organization including some of the top research people. I'm frustrated that I couldn't go in and raise the money like I always do. They're telling me they need more than ever this year…what they could do if they had seventy or even, God willing, seventy-five million…the good that money could do…"

And then in seeming impulse, he says, "Hey, I'll tell you what. Tell them…tell the world that if they can raise $75 million by the fifth hour, I'll show up. I live in Vegas. I'll be sitting around that evening doing nothing…maybe cleaning out the lint trap in my laundry room or something. I own eighty tuxedos and it's a ten minute drive from my home to the South Point. If they want me to come in and do the last half-hour and they have $75 million on that tote board, I'll do that for my kids. I'd put everything else aside if America could do that."

So then when the telethon starts, some big MDA official comes out and says, "Folks…we love Jerry. He built this whole thing. We're sorry about the misunderstanding…and now we have a chance to get him on here. Get those phones ringing. Call your friends and tell them to pledge, too. We've got less than five hours to raise $75 million. It's our way of thanking Jerry and getting him on this stage to take the bow he so richly reserves!"

They'd raise the target amount. Some big sponsor like Pepsi-Cola would probably want to give the last big chunk so they'd get the credit and good will for putting the drive over the top. Even if no such company came forward, telethons have a way of putting any number they want on the tote board by counting donations that weren't earmarked for the telethon or adding in what they know will be donated in the future.

However they do it, they bring Jer on for the ovation of the century. The tune-in would be incredible. He makes a speech showing he's bigger than any of this; that all he's ever cared about is doing right by his kids. The MDA official comes out and they hug and he asks Jerry, in front of the entire country, to host next year's telethon. Jerry says, "Thanks but I think it's time to hand it on to the next generation…" and he says some nice words about those who are taking it over. He adds, "I just want to sit home with my feet up and watch…and hey, if you make $80 million next year, maybe I'll come by and sing the closing number." And then he sings the closing number, his voice chokes up sixteen bars from the end and he doesn't finish.

Television history. A new rebirth for the telethon. And Jerry becomes the first Jewish Saint.

Do I expect any of this to happen? No. But wouldn't it be great?

Actually, neither one of those people in the photo is me. That's my buddy Stu Shostak in blue, posing with Stan Freberg — one of the many legendary show business figures who've guested on Stu's Show since December of 2006. I was Stu's first guest, the premise being that if he started with me, the guests could only get more interesting and important from then on. Indeed, they have…but I'll still be joining him again this Wednesday for Show #244, which will be the last live Stu's Show to air on Shokus Internet Radio…

…but it is not by any means, the last Stu's Show. Nosiree, Bob! Shokus Internet Radio will cease to broadcast at the end of the month but Stu is relocating his fine talk show (and the lovely Jeanine Kasun's Baby Boomer Favorites) to a new venue over at www.stusshow.com. His debut webcast there will be on Wednesday, September 21 and he's got a great first episode — an interview with Jay North, Gloria Henry and Jeannie Russell, the cast of the original Dennis the Menace TV show. To get those folks together around his microphones is quite a coup.

And then in the weeks to come, he's got more great guests including Ed Asner, Sherry Jackson, Jane Withers, Jane Kean, Monica Lewis, Judy Strangis and others. I'll be plugging those installments later. Right now, I'm just suggesting you tune in live this Wednesday to hear the last show in the old digs. Like I said, I'll be on it and we have something very special planned. It won't just be me talking about myself for two hours. Be there for it Wednesday at 4 PM Pacific Time, 7 PM Eastern Time on Shokus Internet Radio.