Among the things I've learned to never argue with people about is deli food. It's on the list with religion, the Kennedy Assassination, what was the best James Bond movie, PC vs. Mac and Leno as opposed to Letterman. Some of the most pointless, no-one-can-win debates in this world are about these topics. So when I say that Canter's on Fairfax is my favorite Southern California deli, I'm not looking for rebuttals. You like Jerry's or Nate n' Al's or Art's or Langer's or Brent's or Junior's? Fine. I've had good meals at all those places except, of course, Jerry's in the last five or ten years. (I think the last time I had a really good meal at Jerry's, the bus boy was — and I'm not kidding — Andy Kaufman.)
Anyway, I like Canter's but that's not the point of this item. Every year, Canter's does some incredible cheapo deal for one night to celebrate its anniversary. I'm not sure why they do these because the place is pretty well-known and usually packed…but they do. Tomorrow night from 4 PM 'til Midnight to celebrate their 80th anniversary, you can get a corned beef sandwich, a "taste" of potato salad, a pickle and a little chocolate rugala for eighty cents. Ordinarily, the sandwich alone is $11.75 and it is not overpriced at that.
I will not be dining at Canter's tomorrow night. Why? Because if past experience is any indicator, people will start lining up to get in around Noon and by 7 PM or so, there will be around a three-hour wait for a table. I don't know about you but my time is worth more than four bucks an hour.
(And can you imagine the poor sap who gets there at 10 PM when the line is, I'm guessing, down to a two-hour wait? And he stands there and he stands there and he inches up and finally, he gets in at 12:01 and the sandwich is regular price again? It would really suck to be that guy.)
Two years ago, some friends of mine and I dined at Canter's the day after a similar offer. I think the same meal was 78 cents that year. Things were cheaper everywhere back then. The waitresses at Canter's are often very funny and very chatty and ours was describing the line to get in the night before. At one point, it was up to four hours but people stood in it.
One guy in particular waited all that time and when he got in, she went up to him and said, "Well, I guess I know what you're going to have." Because that's what everyone was having. He told her, "You know…I like pastrami better than corned beef."
She told him the corned beef sandwich was 78 cents and it came with potato salad, a pickle and a little dessert. The pastrami sandwich was $11.75 and it came with a pickle but no potato salad and no dessert. The fellow said, "That's not fair. Any other day, a corned beef sandwich and a pastrami sandwich are the same price, right?"
She said, "Right."
He said, "So they must cost you the same thing to make, right?"
She said, "Right."
He said, "So how come you can't give me pastrami for 78 cents? You're not losing anything on the deal."
She said, "Listen, I don't make the rules here. The rules are that for the next three and a half hours, corned beef is 78 cents and pastrami is $11.75."
The guy thought about it for ten seconds and finally said, "Oh, what the hell. Give me a pastrami on rye."